Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Randolph Mantooth, Natalie Radford, Alexander Kuznetsov and Melaini Paul 

THE STORY:  I really like Dolph Lundgren. I'm thinking about joining his fan club. Seriously. I mean he's not the greatest actor and he's been in some pretty bad movies, but from what I hear he's a nice guy. And he's provided me with so much entertainment I can't help but like the big lug. His movies are either so bad they're kinda fun to watch or just plain entertaining.

This time Dolph is a marine special operations officer, named Matt Hendricks. When we first meet him he's on a mission to recover a stealth fighter in some foreign country. This part is really just a preamble so we could actually do without it. It doesn't do much more than tell us that Hendricks is a marine and that he can fly a stealth fighter. Since the rest of the movie has nothing to do with Hendricks flying anything I had to wonder why that sequence was in the movie.

Hendricks gets a new mission after that. Way back in 1957 the US developed a virus called Agent Red. The Russians, fearful that we'd use it on them stole it. Only the US abandoned Agent Red because it was so powerful and unstable they feared it would be used to no good end. (What other possible use could it have? Jeez) The Russians in the present don't want the stuff anymore. For some reason they decide to give it to the US instead of simply destroying it. Hendricks is picked to go onto the submarine that will ferry it back to America in case trouble breaks out. I can't figure out why the virus is being transported by submarine instead of say, an airplane, but I didn't write this movie. A group of Russian terrorists led by Dr. Kretz and his femme fatale girlfriend Nadia want to steal it.

At least they have a plausible reason for doing so....kind of. In 1971 the Russians fucked up and exposed a small village to the dreaded virus. Since the village was isolated the outbreak was contained, but the Russian military killed all of the survivors just to make sure. Nadia's parents were in that village and well, they got whacked. Kretz and his gang figure that if they can expose both Moscow and New York City to Agent red the two governments will be taught a lesson for creating such awful weapons. Hey, I said they had a plausible reason...not a good one. (and its probably not plausible either, but its an action movie....you're not supposed to think about it.)

Kretz and his friends manage to sneak aboard the sub carrying the virus and use the deadly substance to kill the crew, except for Hendricks, who was injected with an antidote and his ex-fiancée, Lt. Linda Christian. The movie then becomes "Die Hard" on a submarine. The only problem with that is Hendricks doesn't have any problem kicking the asses of the terrorists. Even when he fights Kretz it doesn't look like Kretz has a chance to win. The only reason he's beaten by the maniacal Russian is when Kretz picks up a fire extinguisher or some other object and clobbers him with it and even then Hendricks would have to have been standing still and letting Kretz him. Watch the movie. You'll see what I mean. Ever pick up a fire extinguisher? They ain't exactly light and Hendricks had plenty of time to move out of the way! Anyhow, Kretz plan is to load the virus into the subs missiles and launch them at New York and Moscow simultaneously to teach us a lesson. Crazy bastard.

Hendricks along with the pretty useless Linda manage to stop the bad guys before that happens. When I say useless I mean useless. Linda is fairly unpleasant to be around. I didn't even find her that attractive, but that's probably a good thing. (I'm tired of movies with these women that are fucking models) But Linda doesn't do much except be there to have girl fights with Nadia.

The best thing about this movie is that I didn't expect a knockout flick so I wasn't disappointed at all. So that's why I like Dolph. I was perfectly happy to watch this movie unfold even though there really aren't any great scenes or mind blowing action in it. At least I was entertained for a short while.

Best Lines: "Sounds like a bad action movie."-Hendricks when asked if he's ever heard of Agent Red.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) This is a minor nitpick, but why doesn't the female marine have her hair tied up or something. Females in uniform normally have to keep their hair tied up so it doesn't reach the collar. ( When my wife was in the army she had hair down to her ass, but when in uniform she somehow managed to do it all up so it fit under her hat) I mean, this woman is on a covert operation and she's running around with her hair all loose like its a cover girl commercial.

2.) Why are the Russians speaking English to each other?

3.) Hooboy...at first I was thinking the uniforms in this flick looked pretty good. Unfortunately that was only about ten minutes into the thing. Dr. Baker's hair is fucked up. No female marine I know would look like that. But to make it worse she has lieutenant bars on her collar and PRIVATE stripes on her sleeves! Now she would have to an officer in order to be a doctor, so why the private rank? Didn't anyone making this movie suggest taking the chevrons off of the shirt?

Linda has a long ass ponytail that definitely is out of uniform in any branch.

4.) Linda has a real attitude problem. She's snippy with the submarine's XO, Lt. Commander Coulson for no reason....and he outranks her. If you ask me Hendricks is better off without her.

5.) How many people does it take to run a submarine? The terrorists don't seem to have enough manpower to actually run the submarine, but then what do I know? I've never helmed a sub. Hell, I can barely drive a car.

6.) That is so definitely not a submarine. Its a factory or something. I'm betting its the same factory that we've seen in other b-movies posing as a spaceship or something.

NUDITY AND SEX:  Nadia is seen naked.

HUH?:  Considering what's at stake I don't see the US doing otherwise than blasting the submarine out of the ocean. Especially after the Russian terrorists fire at and destroy a US naval vessel. After that the kid gloves would have to come off.

The news coverage of the incident makes me wonder. I mean if I were in New York and the news came on that terrorists were about to launch a virus laden missile into the city I'd be on I95 like a bat out of hell. Naturally pandemonium occurs when the news is heard....I wonder if the powers that be would allow such a broadcast...its not really going to save anyone. There's absolutely no way to evacuate NYC or Moscow in a few hours so what would be the point of even announcing the news?

THE FINAL JUDGMENT: For a time waster, this movie is ok. Its not Lundgren's best movie, and its not that exciting but if you just need a mild action fix it'll do. But keep in mind that's coming from a b-movie lover. If you want a good naval action movie rent Crimson Tide or something. This one was pretty bland in most respects.