Alien Nation

THE STORY: This movie had an interesting premise but didn't go too far with it. I suppose the TV show took it a little farther....I'd only seen a few episodes of it before it was cancelled, but it did seem interesting.

In the not too distant future (or perhaps the early 90's when this movie was made) an alien spaceship lands in the Mojave desert. Its full of alien refugees. The aliens were genetically engineered for slave labor, but somehow escaped their masters. The ship, which is basically a lifeboat of some sort, cannot take them away from earth so they're stuck here. After a quarantine period the "Newcomers" are assimilated into society in Southern California.

Most humans look at the newcomers as second class citizens. They're called "slags", and not generally respected. But a few affirmative action laws allows them to take jobs and own businesses. Matt Sykes, a cop and his partner, Tuggle witness a robbery in a convenience store by some newcomers. When they attempt to stop it, Tuggle is gunned down. Sykes chases the murderers to an alley where he is forced to shoot him...several times. Newcomers are pretty tough.

Sykes isn't really crazy about the newcomers. But when a newcomer police officer is promoted to detective he takes the man as his new partner. Sykes wants to find the people that killed Tuggle and since the crime took place in "Slagtown" and involved Newcomers, he figures that a newcomer partner is just what he needs to crack the case. The newcomer, Sam Francisco, is a hard working family man. But Sykes refuses to call him Sam Francisco because it sounds stupid. He just calls him George.

Here's where the movie drags on a bit. We learn that newcomers get drunk off of spoiled milk, that salt water is like acid to them and that kicking a newcomer male in the balls doesn't hurt them. Along the way we find out that a newcomer entrepreneur named Harcourt is recreating an addictive drug called jbluka. The newcomers former masters used to give it to them and like all addictive drugs it had a devastating effect and caused a lot of misery. George is furious when he discovers this and pleads with Sykes to tell no one. Apparently the addiction is a newcomer secret. When Harcourt is captured by Sykes he takes an overdose of the drug and seemingly dies. But a short while later he turns out to not be dead, but transformed into a huge monstrous version of himself. This is why George didn't want anyone to know about jbluka. He knows that the humans would react with fear and revulsion if they found out about the transformation the drug causes. Sykes and George track Harcourt down to the docks. Sykes is no match for Harcourt and does the only thing he can to beat him. He tackles him and sends them both falling into the water. The salt water begins to eat away at Harcourt but Sykes is injured and unable to swim back to land. luckily George hails a police helicopter and flies over the water. Despite the pain, he reaches into the water and saves Sykes.

As a TV series I liked this, but the movie was rather bland. It was little more than a cop movie with aliens thrown in and although the aliens are interesting they aren't used in a way to make the movie more engaging. James Caan was Sykes. Mandy (Mandy?) Patinkin was George. There was a newcomer in the movie that was played by some guy whose name I can't remember. But he's the same guy that played the Alien Bounty Hunter on the X-files.

Best Lines: "And that fits?"- George is kind of suprised that the size of a rubber is big enough for a human penis. Newcomers must be well hung.

"Don't take it personally, I'm a bigot."-Sykes turns down the offer of sex with a newcomer female.

"Your mother mates out of season!"-I had forgotten how good that line was, but a reader, Daniel Baker, emailed me and reminded me of it. This is a newcomer insult to Sykes when he's on the case looking for clues. Thanks Dan!

1.) Although I love the concept behind this film, I think it does stretch a certain portion of my suspension of disbelief. There probably isn't a country on Earth that doesn't have a problem with people hating immigrants. Humans are barely able to get along with each other. I wonder how we'd react to 100,000 aliens that are smarter than we are, stronger than we are, incredible adaptive, and can breathe both oxygen and methane! No, I think human fear and paranoia would win out. Then again, I could be wrong. Perhaps the arrival of aliens like those in this movie would help bring humanity closer together.

2.) So the newcomers get drunk off of sour milk. Ugh. Man that would come in handy though on New Years eve. Just buy a few gallons of milk and let it go bad! I mean I tried to make my own beer once and it was a royal pain in the ass...not to mention I had to wait two months until it was drinkable! If I was a newcomer a gallon of cow juice under the radiator for an hour would have done the trick! (Of course none of my buddies would want to drink with me though)

3.) George tells Sykes that all of the Newcomers were addicted to "jbluka", that it was the only form of entertainment and relaxation for them when they were slaves. He also claims that the drug is far more addictive than any human narcotic. Um....if that's the case why aren't the newcomers all having withdrawal symptoms?

4.) If I was a newcomer, I don't think I'd want to live in LA or in state that is bordered by the ocean at all! Salt water is like acid to them! Why don't they all move to someplace a little safer, like....um...Nebraska!?

NUDITY AND SEX: A teeny bit....a newcomer female takes her shirt off but her back is turned.

HUH?: So out of 100,000 newcomers NOT ONE of them mentioned this drug to the government? Even though logic would dictate that the government would question them thoroughly and examine them medically. Right.

THE TALLY: The only reason this movie gets three devils instead of two is that it did have an interesting premise. I was going to give it two because it failed to use the premise to its fullest, but at least it spawned a pretty decent TV show and a few TV movies. A meager and weak entry into the sci-fi genre and a pretty slow cop movie. Worth seeing only if you're big into sci-fi or a fan of the show.