THE STORY: There are two reason I rented this....when I was 13 my cousin Keith and I went to the Bahamas with his mom and grandmother. Keith's grandma was reading "The Amityville Horror" book on the plane and said it was really scary. We started reading it together and I thought it was truly horrifying. (Hey, I was 13!) The other reason is the local German video store had a special today...rent 3 movies get one free, and this was all I could grab in time...I was in a hurry.

George and Kathy Lutz buy a big nice house in Amityville for their family. A year before some guy went nuts and murdered his family in the house. After moving in a few spooky things happen, but not anything that would make you think the house is haunted. Father Delaney, a priest comes to bless the house, but the Lutzes are out. He attempts to bless it anyway and is assaulted by flies and a disembodied voice tells him to "Get Out". The father quickly exits stage right. Delaney tries to warn the Lutzes by phone but every time he does the line has nothing but static. George Lutz begins to act all moody and worries his friends and family with his behavior. Eventually...and trust me it took the whole movie practically, George's friend Jeff's girlfriend, a psychic breaks down a wall in the basement of the house. There's a small room there painted all red inside. She speaks in a voice that is not her own about a passageway to Hell! This, my friends, would have been enough to make anyone else move, but the Lutzes stay for awhile until the walls start bleeding. Then they decide to leave. Of course there's a big thunderstorm that night. George goes back for the dog, Harry. (who the fuck names a dog "Harry"...people with no imagination I'd assume but seeing how the Lutzes faked this story I guess they do have some imagination) When George goes to the basement to fetch Harry the stairs give way and he falls into an oily pit. Harry pulls him out and they flee the house.

Okay, we all know this story is fake. The Lutzes pulled a big scam. This movie is pretty weak, too. I can't recommend reading the book, though. I thought it was scary when I was 13, and I haven't read it since. Isn't it amazing though that this flick spawned several sequels? I rented "Amityville: The Dollhouse" years ago but I fell asleep watching it. Also, this movie stars Margot Kidder...you know, the lady who was Lois Lane in the Superman movies.

BEST LINES: "Who the hell do you think you are? You think your secular education gives you the right to question the church?!"-Father Ryan yells at father Delaney for believing the house is possessed. That's a scary quote though. You can question the government but not the church? Hey, I think you can't question God, but the church is run by human beings that are just as fallible as anyone else.

1.) I'm not picking on the catholic church but this movie does. Father Delany makes only a few weak attempts to warn the Lutzes. When the supernatural force scares him a few times he really doesn't try to help very hard. Kathy's aunt, Helena, is a nun. She visits the house, senses evil, leaves immediately and abruptly, barfs and then doesn't try anything else...like getting Kathy and her family to leave or asking a priest other than Delany to help. I'd think a preist and a nun would have more regard for saving their freinds and relatives from evil than they would in saving their own hides.

2.) Good Gravy, this movie is long....and boring...I should have just rented Hellraiser.

3.) Ok, Kathy's young daughter says her invisible friend, Jodie ran out of the window when Kathy comes into her room.Kathy looks at the window and sees two red eyes staring back. The window moves by itself, too. If that was me, the sonic boom created by the speed at which I'd have towed my kids outta there and into a motel would have shattered windows for miles.

4.) Even better than the red eyes scene is when Jeff's girlfriend speaks in a ghostly voice (after they find the secret room in the basement) about a tunnel to Hell being in the house. Wooo. Only tachyons could have matched my velocity if it was my house.

5.) Harry the dog all of a sudden become Rin Tin Tin and drags George out of the pit. When they try to leave the house the door shuts and won't open....but then George did something I didn't expect. HE BUSTED A WINDOW OUT and escaped with Harry! Man, in other horror movies I've always wondered why people didn't do that!

NUDITY AND SEX: No real nudity. There's a sex scene with George and Kathy. You can see a healthy portion of Kidder's boobs, but nothing too raunchy.

HUH?: SGT Gionfriddo, a cop, seems to be following Kathy around. Then he follows Father Boylan who is taking care of Father Delany. Aren't there any crimes this guy should be taking care of?

THE TALLY: You're not missing anything if you never see this movie. It was made only to cash in on the sensationalism of the Lutzes story, which turned out to be a hoax. Its not very scary or exciting. Its scummy in the way that a family really was murdered in the house before the Lutzes moved in. Using the fates of those poor people as a springboard for a scam is pretty fucked up. Save your two bucks and rent something else.