Starring:

Starring: Maximillian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Forster, Ernest Borgnine, Yvette Mimieux, Joseph Bottoms   

Directed by: Gary Nelson    Written By: Jeb Rosebrook, Bob Barbash

The Story: When I was a wee lad I loved science fiction. And I'm old enough that I was a wee lad around the time Star Trek had begun to pick up steam as a real franchise. I don't mean Next Generation, either...No Sirree-Bob, I was a kid when the Original Series was still shown on syndication to local TV stations. I was a kid when the Star Trek animated series was on TV Saturday mornings. I remember begging my mom to take to the Star Trek convention in town when i was young. Hell, Lost in Space used to come on TV on Sunday afternoons and I never missed it. When Battlestar Galactica and Buck Rogers in the 25th Century were on Network TV, baby I was there. I loved the stuff. So its strange that I really never saw this movie when it was released around 1979/ 1980. I think part of the reason is that is was a Disney movie. It seems Disney was trying to cash in on the sci-fi craze back then with this movie...which, hey, Disney is a business, they're trying to make money, so why not? But my feelings then and probably now about Disney movies are the same...the flicks are made for kids or for family entertainment. Funk Dat. I like my science fiction down and dirty for the most part. I didn't particularly want to see a "user-friendly" science fiction movie.

This movie is a little short on explanations. The principle characters are explorers from Earth on the spaceship Palomino. Their mission is to seek out habitable life. What the deuce does that mean? I could understand "new life" or "habitable planets", but habitable life? What the hell does that mean? the  crew consists of the Captain, Dan Holland, his copilot, Charlie Pizer, Dr. Durant, a journalist, named Harry Booth, and Dr. Kate McCrae along with annoying robot VINCENT. VINCENT's name is an acronym for Vital Information Necessary CENTralized. Tell me that they didn't make up the name first and then try to come up with the acronym. Go on, tell me, 'cuz I won't believe you. If they thought EDWARD was a good name they'd have said it stood for Electronic Diode Working Automaton Robotic Droid or some such nonsense. But the kicker is that Kate has a telepathic link to VINCENT. I'm sure that sounds like it makes sense to some 6 year olds out there, somewhere.

The Palomino soon comes across the Cygnus, a starship that was lost 20 years before. And lo and behold, Kate's father was on that mission! The Cygnus is hovering on the edge of a Black Hole, but seems unaffected by the intense gravity. Intrigued, the crew decides to go in for a closer look. The movie doesn't really tell you what a Black Hole is. Now, here in the year 2003 I think that most people at least have an inkling of what a Black Hole is, but back in the late 70's I think that people would have been a little confused. I'm not Stephen Hawking, but I do know that its a collapsed star that has such incredible mass that it sucks in everything....including light...with its gravitational pull. No doubt thats the weakest explanation you'll ever see, but the movie doesn't go much further than that. They just let you know its a big black thing with a lot of gravity. Hmmmm...so far stike two for the movie.

When the Palomino crew manages to dock with the Cygnus....mildly damaging their ship, the lights come on. So this supposedly derelict ship must have someone on board. That someone is Dr. Hans Reinhardt, a scientist that was among the Cygnus crew. Reinhardt tells them that the others died trying to make it back it back to Earth after the Cygnus was damaged, and that he alone survived. He's built a crew of robots to serve him, and has his chief robot, MAXIMILLIAN, to prove it. Sadly he informs Kate that her father stayed behind with him on the damaged Cygnus, but died some years prior. It doesn't take a genius to see that Reinhardt is lying, though. Its a movie, for pity's sake. A science fiction movie. When you throw a crazed genius with a mean ass looking robot into the mix, you know he's gotta be up to no good. What Reinhardt is up to is this....he's planning to drive the Cygnus into the Black Hole. He's already perfected an anti gravity shield, which is what allows the Cygnus to stay so close to the Black Hole without being destroyed. The crew of the Palomino naturally think he's bonkers, except for Durant. He's long admired Reinhardt's accomplishments and wants to stay with him for the journey. But VINCENT makes a discovery of his own. While the humans have dinner, VINCENT is sent to hang out with the robots on the Cygnus. He meets one called BOB, which seems to be the same model as he is. BOB (They don't have an acronym for BOB....I'll make one up....uh...Bubble Eyed Omnifunctional Bot...yeah, well, at least I tried) Well, Bob tells VINCENT that the crew members of the Cygnus aren't dead...they were changed into robot slaves by Reinhardt. You know, theres a bunch of these guys....how did Reinhardt overpower the entire crew?

It doesn't matter....once the cat is out of the bag, Holland decides its time to go. You go, boy. Personally I wouldn't have given a damn if Reinhardt wanted to fly into a black hole as long as I got the hell out of there. But complications arise and next thing ya know, Durant is dead and the crew are in a lame laser battle with the Cygnus robots. Booth tries to escape by himself in the Palomino, but crashes into the Cygnus causing more damage. Reinhardt still continues to drive into the Black Hole and everyone gets sucked in with him...although Holand, Kate, Pizer and VINCENT trie to escape in a shuttle.....but don't make it.

Okay....as a wee lad I happened to find the novelization of this book in the school library. At that point in my life I figured I'd never see the movie....there weren't any video stores in 1980. So I read it. I can't remember too much about it except the end. There was some goobledly gook about the crew being smashed down into atoms by the black hole and becoming a new universe. I'm sure it was meant to be uplifting, but it sounded pretty crappy to me then. But in thie movie we see the shuttle emerge from the other end of the Black Hole. Still a crappy deal if you ask me. Assuming they're still in this universe, now they're stranded in an unknown point of space. And don't ask me about Reinhardt. I can't remember what it said in the book, but on the screen he merges with his robot MAXIMILLIAN and goes to hell. I say again...What the hell?

After watching this movie I can only tell ya this, my droogies....I'm sooooo freaking glad I didn't see it in its theatrical release. I would have been pissed off. It was light on the action....its a Disney movie after all...and there was little to no characterization. The robots, except for VINCENT and BOB didn't speak. Makes for some pretty dull watching. I can't say its a bad movie, in the sense that it sucked (I'm not even going to make a Black hole joke about sucking) but it damn sure wasn't exciting. I found myself being irritated by it by the end. Robert Forster was Holland. Anthony "Norman Bates" Perkins was Durant. Yvette Mimieux was Kate. Roddy McDowall provied the voice for VINCENT and Slim Pickens for BOB. Ernest Borgnine was Booth and Maximillian Schell was Reinhardt.

 Are you kidding me?

1.) VINCENT could have been a cool looking robot. You know why he looked dumb? The eyes. He has two big fuckin' cartoon eyes! Why would anyone build a robot with Eyes like that. He makes the eyes on the Power Puff girls look minute in comparison. And they're useless by a design standpoint. He has to turn his head to see anything and by the design they can't possible have decent perepheral vision. You could guess that VINCENT has some kind of sensory system and maybe he does...but if thats the case his designer is a boob. He could have made the eyes look better then.

2.) The lab where humans are turned into robots....where did it come from? Surely it wasn't part of the Cygnus when it took off from Earth. So I guess Reinhardt did build it. And then he turned the crew into robot slaves. And then he fashioned a system of resisting the gravity of a black hole. And then he built MAXIMILLIAN. Damn. This guy is a freakin' genius!

3.) Well, maybe he's not a genius. Reinhardt wants to go into the black hole basically because he can find out a lot of universal secrets that everyone is vague about. Theres some crap aout heaven and hell and God and all that...but I sincerely doubt that God lives in a Black Hole. Besides...lets say Reinhardt actually succeeded...well, he never meant for the Palomino or anyone else to find him....so who is he gonna tell? Theres never any mention about a return trip. Whats the point of his trip? Pure Ego? You gotta have a hellva ego to want to fly into a black hole. I'd like to see what goes on in an active volcano but I'm not gonna nosedive into one to find out. Reinhardt wants to go into the black hole and has no idea or plan on how to transmit any data to anyone else! This guy is a great scientist?

4.) As expected, Booth chickens out and tries to lift off in the Palomino without his comrades. A classic "Dr. Smith" reaction. I couldn't help but think though...maybe some keys or a computer code or something on the Palomino's controls could have stopped this.

5.) MAXIMILLIAN is supposed to be imposing and dangerous. Well, he might be...but he has stupid weapons. When he attacks he sprouts some small blades from his fairly useless arms and moves slowly towards his prey. This from a robot that has built in lasers. What the hell is up with the little propellers, dude? Was Reinhardt just bored and put them in or something?

Nudity and Sex: None.

Huh?:

The robots in this movie are really lame. VINCENT and MAXIMILLIAN don't like each other. Uh, they're robots. They shouldn't NOT LIKE EACH OTHER because they shouldn't care! BOB, VINCENT, whatever...they act just like people which makes them cartoons, not robots. BOB turns against Reinhardt by telling VINCENT the truth about what happened to the Cygnus crew. But if BOB is a robot....wouldn't he be programmed not to do anything contradictory to what his master would want? I know if I had a robot I'd doggone make sure that was in its programming. The robots even have an arcade on the Cygnus! No shit, my droogs...they have a shooting gallery type set up where they compete. For the love of Asimov, they're robots! They should need entertainment and diversion about as much as my cat needs a Ford Explorer!

Theres no reason given for the telpathic link between Kate and VINCENT...except that it provides a way for Holland to send her message to her later in the movie. VINCENT is a machine...how can he have a telepathic link with a human? You know I've read some sci-fi where characters have had psychic links with machines and its cool if a half assed technobabble reason is given...but in this movie....zilch. As much as it might be useful you're not gonna mind meld with your keyboard, droogs.

Reinhardt's army of robots must have been programmed to fight by the 18th century redcoats. Stand in a line and get shot at.

Why was BOB so beaten up? Aren't there any repair facilities on the Cygnus? And if Reinhardt thought he was useless piece of junk why didn't he just deactivate him if he wasn't going to repair him?

The Final Judgment: Despite all I've said, the Black Hole wasn't so bad that the Inferno will condemn it. Its interesting to look at simply because of when it was made and who it was made by. But its not easy to watch fdor hard core sci-fi fans. If you want something to blow some time with and you have an interest in these kinds of flicks you might want to check it out. But if you're expecting a grand experience you might want to stay out of reach of this Event Horizon.