Starring: Aarin Teich, Theodora Louise, Anthony Jenkins, Alexandra Kennedy    Directed By: Deryn Warren

THE STORY:  Okay dammit...there are bad 80's movies that are fun to watch due to the badness...and then there are bad movies that are just vile. This movie falls somewhere in between,  into the nebulous stupid range.

At a group home for troubled teens we find ourselves. Now when I say troubled teens understand that no one playing a [unwrite]ing teen in this flick was a teenager. I can deal with that. Its annoying, but no big deal. So what. Well, its a big so what when the main character of sorts is Charlie. Charlie is played by Aarin Teich who can't really act his way out of a wet toilet paper house. He constantly reminded me of Keanu Reeves in the Bill and Ted movies, Only he wasn't amusing at all.

The meat of the movie occurs when Daniel moves into the troubled teen home, more or less called the St. Boniface Evaluation Center, but I'll call it the Group home. I used to work in a similar place and man, this movie makes it look like a masterpiece of organization. There's only two people in charge of St. Boniface, Jenny and Montana. right. a group home for troubled teenagers with only tow caretakers? Not even in my wildest nightmares.

Daniel only comes to the place because his mom is hiding him. Unlike the other kids he doesn't have any real emotional or social problems. But his mother insists that the father who ran off some time ago, is a nut job and that he's coming back for an undisclosed reason for Daniel. In order to hide the boy she conspires with Dr. Nelson and Jenny to keep Daniel at the home for awhile.

Don't wait for any kind of explanation about the father. He sows up and kills and the mom later and the only thing we find out or apparently need to know is that he's a demon or Satan or something. The father tracks Daniel down and merges with him...this is days before his 18th birthday when the merging becomes permanent.

Yep, from here on in we go into wimpy supernatural murder mode. Daniel, now possessed by the spirit of his demonic father kills the most annoying of the residents of St. Boniface. Its hard to feel bad about the deaths because the characters are so unappealing you would kill them yourself if given the chance. The characters of Joe and Georgie are presented in such a way that I hated them both instantly. It made me glad I no longer work in that system....I might have killed those assholes  on my own.

Daniel uses his satanic powers to get rid of those that anger him, and the only one that seems to notice is Charlie. Montana only begins to act when four or five people are dead. With Charlie's help they track down Daniel and free him from the demonic influence of his father, thus saving Charlie's sweetie, Debbie. You know, I didn't expect a big [unwrite]ing suspense thriller but I do have to ask a few questions....first of all and most importantly.....

WHO WAS DANIEL'S FATHER!!!??? A demon? Dialogue (at the end of the [unwrite]in' movie) alludes to this, but there's no real answer. Only that Daniel has to give up his body for the demon. How did this happen and what is the demon's plan? To just keep living through high school aged losers?

It was also hard to buy the whole St. Boniface thing when you look at the cast. None of them looked young enough to play troubled teens and there's no way a place like that would have such a minimal staff. For the sake of the movie you can buy it for awhile, but it gets tiresome. I was interested in this flick's crappiness enough to do some checking...unless the IMDb's records are outdated...and they may be I don't know, no one in this movie did anything else!

Jenny was played by Theodora Louise...she looks familiar too...like a wide mouthed bass version of Linda Hamilton. (and trust me I waited until the end credits to make sure it wasn't Linda Hamilton or a drunken relative of hers!) anyone else...oh funk dat...I'm tired this movie wasn't that great and its dinner time....

Best Lines: "You like him? Why? Because he's so handsome?"- Charlie is shocked that Debbie likes Daniel...and that line is just generally funny in a goofy way.

"He's evil! Real Evil!"-Charlie...man, I'm starting to like this guy. His acting is corny enough coupled with the already bad dialogue to crack me the hell up.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) So Daniel's mom goes through all of the trouble of hiding him at St. Boniface but then conveniently has an envelope with the secret location written on it for the deranged father to find.

2.) I'll tell you what the problem is with these kids...arrested development! They get all gooey and stupid when Daniel arrives and rush to the window to see him walking with Montana having a little chat. Are their lives so boring that this is a major event? You'd think so the way these imbeciles act. Already I'm hoping that many of them don't make it to the end of this film. (Actually Charlie is just crazy.)

3.) Silly little joke? Montana has a strange definition for a silly little joke! Georgie and Joe set fire to a room just to scare Daniel! That's not a joke! That's not funny in so many ways it doesn't need an explanation. As far as the movie goes, why are these two morons even in this Group home. If they both are so disturbed that they can't tell why its bad to start fires around someone's bed they both should be in Hannibal Lecter like restraints and shipped off to wherever they send annoying crazy teenagers.

4.) It is bogus how the fire chief can say the fire in Joe's room was caused by Joe smoking in bed when there isn't any proof to support that. If worked in that home I'd have to ask the chief where the cigarettes were. (There weren't any....get it?)

5.) I would ask why Montana seems to have such a hard time contacting his superiors when things get bad with Daniel....it looks like they're giving him the runaround. If this Group Home evaluation Center is run by the local government and school board you'd think the powers that be would be all over the place considering the three recent deaths...but I want to know why Daniel who has been tied up by Montana hasn't used his powers to free himself. He can set fire to people at will, control mechanical objects by looking at them and make a girl try to commit suicide but he can't untie a few bed sheets?

6.) Oh Lordy....Is this movie supposed to be taking place in California? I'm guessing so because for some reason movie makers think EVERYTHING must happen in California and there was a shot of some palm trees that screamed California or maybe to a lesser extent, Florida. Whatever the state don't want to live there. After numerous grisly ass deaths of the inhabitants of the Evaluation Center group Home they have a bunch of bureaucratic nincompoops come in and tell the kids everything is alright. What happened to doctors or anyone actually qualified to deal with these teens?

NUDITY AND SEX:  no nudity is shown

HUH?:  Is this Group Home in the middle of a residential neighborhood. It certainly looks that way, but that's kind of ridiculous. I used to work in a group home for Autistic kids and it was a safe distance away from the other houses....why...well, not to be unkind, but no one wants to live next to 'crazy people.' . I wouldn't want to live near the place in this movie. A home full of emotionally challenged troubled teenagers? No thanks, bub. I don't need one of them to freak out and end up kicking my front door in.

Charlie tells Debbie that when he gets upset he loses control...actually he throws the most ineffectual tantrums I've ever seen.

Man if you couldn't see Georgie's death comin' from a mile away you need some hubble telescope type glasses. First of all, its on the box! Quote from video box "Joe got fried. Georgie got chipped." (Way to give away any shock value guys). Actually, this is one of the few times I wanted the black guy to get killed fast and I was relieved when he did buy the farm. Georgie was really annoying.

I'll be damned if I'd willfully take a shot from a doctor that kept sodium penathol (sp?) in his desk drawer.

Why does Montana stop kicking Daniel's ass during Debbie's rescue? To help Charlie? Funk Dat! He was winning...and against a foe with Damien-Son-of-Satan powers! When will movie guys learn? Kill the super powered bad guy first, then worry about first aid for your buddies!

THE FINAL JUDGEMENT: This is most definitely an acquired taste. If ya don't like the cheesy horror style of the 1980's...and if you can't just let the crap roll of of you as a seasoned b-mover lover can...then stay away. But if you love this kind of low budget stupid ass [unwrite] then you will at the very least get a chuckle out of this flick. In that spirit the Inferno grants it 3 devils. Its a dumbass flick but I laughed my ass off.