Cat People

"See these eyes so green? I can stare for a thousand years...just be still with me. You Wouldn't believe what I've been through...its been so long; Well its been so long! And I've putting out the fire with Gasoline! Putting out fire...with Gasoline..."- David Bowie's soundtrack to this movie. It can be found on his 1982 album "Let's Dance".


THE STORY: I can't say I was deceived even though this movie is not what I really expected. I saw it years and years ago on HBO and the only thing I can remember is that Nastassia Kinski was naked in it. Hey, I was a kid! I may have killed most of those brain cells from back then, but I still remember seeing naked boobies on TV. I also remembered that she turned into a big black panther or some sort of cat after having sex, so I expected a generous helping of nude scenes and a lot of bloody carnage. Yow, was I wrong...you see, this movie is an erotic thriller. At least its supposed to be. I usually don't watch erotic thrillers, because, well, lets face it, those kinds of movies are usually just soft porn or at best a reason to let some under-talented actress naked. ( Not that I think Ms. Kinski is undertalented ) I never saw the appeal to it. But I figured, hey, Malcolm McDowell is in it...Nastassia Kinski is in it. Maybe it'll be kinda interesting. Nope, nope, nope....I was soooo bored. I almost chucked the whole thing because I took few notes.

Kinski is Irena, a young woman who moves in with a brother, Paul, that she doesn't really know.  Now, this movie takes quite awhile to get to the point so I'll just jump into it. Paul and Irena are cat-people. Irena doesn't know this at first. There's some mumbo jumbo about being descended from cats that were worshipped by some ancient folk...the ancient folk fed the cats living humans and after a time the cats became, well cat-people. I guess that Paul and Irena are the last of the race, because they can only *ahem* mate with each other. When they have sex with a normal person, they become panthers shortly afterwards and can't turn back into a human until they kill someone. Paul wants Irena to have sex with him, and she refuses. Irena has been dating Oliver Yates,(John Heard) a zookeeper. When she finally has sex with him, she turns into a cat and kills some poor shmuck that Oliver introduced her to. Oliver agrees to have sex with her one more time so she'll become a cat and then he houses her in the zoo.

Now, unless you have a deep need to see Nastassia Kinski nude, or you can find some compelling reason to find this movie interesting, let me warn you...its kind of boring. Its kind of slow. Yeah, there the subtle story of a young woman, Irena, discovering her sexuality, but still, I almost fell asleep. There aren't many cat-kills and you don't really get to see any of them. So don't believe you're going to at least see some action. Nope, you'll get to see Kinski naked, and you'll see a big black panther, but that's about it. Malcolm McDowell has been in plenty of movies, but the two that come to mind right now are A Clockwork Orange (great flick) and Star Trek: Generations.

Best Lines: "Free me...make love to me again...I want to live with my own."-Irena asks Oliver to change her into a panther by sex one last time.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Irena opts to have Oliver screw her, thus changing her into a cat and living the rest of her life as an animal in a zoo. Why not just decide to NOT have sex? I'm not saying its a great alternative, but isn't it preferable than being a caged animal? Here's a wacky idea...and I guess it depends on if Irena has to kill a human in order to be normal again....but why not just get a bunch of chickens or sheep or something...when Irena has sex she can go to her animal pen, change, kill a sheep, turn human again and viola. PETA might not like it, but at least no humans got killed. Now, I'll admit I'm not sure if the 'rules' say she has to kill a human to regain human form...I'm not prepared to watch this movie again to answer that. I have one last idea...if Irena retains her human mind when she becomes a cat (and I'm assuming she does because she didn't kill Oliver and at the end of the movie he sticks his hand in her cage and pets her) Why not just go out and kill a few drug dealers? I'm not saying these are pleasant ideas...but I think they're better than living in a cage.

NUDITY AND SEX: Lots.Kinski is of course seen nude, and Annette O' Toole as her friend, Alice, is seen topless. There's also a bimbo that Paul sleeps with (and kills) that is seen nude.

HUH?: I'm not certain of this, but can a cat that's roughly the size of a Labrador retriever actually pull a man's arm off at the shoulder? That's what happens to Ed Begley jr., as he tends to Paul who is in cat form, at the zoo. The Paul-Cat doesn't seem really big, not like a lion or tiger, just about the size of an average dog.

I just don't get it! I don't get any hint of romantic interest between Oliver and Irena. Oliver doesn't even seem like he cares about her. And its not doing me any favors by showing me a semi-nude John Heard. Is there anyone out there that finds this movie romantic or sensual? (or is that sensuous, Mrs.Wormer?---Only Animal House fans will get that)

THE TALLY: I can't say this is a bad movie, but it was waaaay too slow and monotonous for my tastes. I'm sure there's some fans of this movie somewhere, but I found it rather boring. Its not the type of movie normally found in the Inferno, and I find it hard to score. Still, it was hard to watch so I give it two devils.

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