The Club

THE STORY: I really thought this movie was going to suck. It didn't and I was really suprised. I enjoyed it. I think some parts of it ran on for too long, but it was ok.

Eastern high School's senior prom is taking place in a gothic mansion. Evan and Amy are the lead-ins for the King and Queen of the prom. Evan goes to the bathroom and has a bizarre conversation with a teacher, Mr. Carver. Carver talks about "what a sweet piece of ass" Amy must be. Two other students, Kyle, the movies official BDJ (Big Dumb Jerk) and his girlfriend Laura sneak off to an empty room to try and get it on. Actually, Laura doesn't want to get it on, she wants to break up with Kyle because he's a brutish, violent jerk and is prone to hitting her. While all this is going on the class nerd, Darren looks nerdy and contemplates the futility of life. (He's a whiny suicidal weasel) All the while I mysterious guy, John Rotman wanders around, watching. Suddenly, all the key characters find that they are the only ones in the mansion. Everyone else has disappeared! Mr. Carver finds Amy and tries to rape her. Evan chases them through the mansion and stops him (well, he gets his butt kicked but he saves Amy.) The others all have weird ass supernatural things happen to them separately before they meet up and try to figure out what's going on. One thing they all notice is that none of them know John. One by one they all meet grisly manifestations of their greatest fears. When only Amy and Evan are the only two left John tells them that he is dead. He committed suicide and now he works for the devil, testing people. Time has stopped and the outcome of this ordeal will decide their fates. In order to survive, Evan and Amy must defeat their fears. Amy's biggest fear is being raped by Carver. The movie gets kind of long at this point. Evan seems to be able to control his fear, but it takes a loooong time for them to finally beat Carver. Well, it takes a long time because AMY has to defeat Carver but she spends a lot of time screaming, crying and falling down. She finally acts when it looks as if Carver is going to kill Evan. Suddenly time resumes to normal. The prom is back on, and none of them remember anything that happened. But John, in ghost form is still watching. The same scenarios happen as they did in the beginning of the movie, but with one difference. Instead of being afraid of Kyle when he goes nuts, Laura knees him in the happy-sacks. in anger he punches her and sends her flying over a railing to her death. She lands in the middle of the dance floor, dead. John's ghost stands next to Kyle and tells him "Murder or suicide, both will get you into the club."

Despite the fact that I got a little tired of the "Mr. Carver is after us" chase scenes and I kept waiting for Amy to just try and fight back so the ordeal would be over, this movie wasn't as painful as I had expected. Hey, it could have been better, but it was kind of original.

BEST LINES: "This had better be an INCREDIBLE practical joke!"-Evan when he discovers that he's alone in the mansion.

"F*** that [unwrite]! You don't get one!"-John to Evan when they duel. John has a sword and Evan, unarmed, asks where his weapon is.

1.) Where have I seen this guy...OH SWEET JESUS, NO! Kyle is the same actor that played "Cooper" in the remarkably bad "Star Hunter". That can only bode ill for this flick.

2.) How come high school kids in movies all look like they're about 20? There's no fat kids, no ugly girls, no minorities (except for the DJ, yeah) What is this? Beverly Hill 666?

3.) Ok, we have the Prom Queen, the King, the Big Dumb Jerk, the Scared Chick, the Nerd, A psychotic teacher and a demon-guy. We're missing the Bitch with Big tits and/ or a Slutty Chick, but still this movie has all the characters for a teenagers-in-danger B-movie.

4.) While searching with Evan for a way out of the mansion, Kyle waxes that this ordeal may be his punishment for hitting Laura. If I was Evan I'd have to ask "Then why am I being punished because you're an ignorant neanderthal woman-beating asshole?"

5.) I guess it doesn't matter too much, but why didn't any of the characters think about just climbing out of a window? Even if they were locked (and there's no dialogue to say that they were) windows can be broken.

NUDITY AND SEX: There's glimpses of Laura's boobs.

HUH?: How come this high school isn't having their prom at the school? My senior prom was in the gymnasium. Well, I didn't get to go because that bitch Michelle decided to go with fancy-boy Kenny instead of me after I had rented my tux and paid for a limo!!! I was too ashamed to tell my folks so I spent my prom night in the video arcade playing 'Sinistar'. So what? I didn't need any of them! I was cool in high school! Lousy, rotten.....uh, um...scratch that. (Oh God, my secret is out) : )

THE TALLY: I went through stages with this movie. For awhile I thought it was a two devil movie at best. Then it got interesting. Then it dragged on for awhile with nothing interesting happening. Then it got kind of good. Then it began to grind to a halt with the "Mr.Carver is after us" scene. Now, I'll admit, I kind of liked this movie, but I was feeling generous when I watched it. Theres a fair dose of pain with it. The fact that no one thinks of leaving the building, the incomprehensible and cliche tactic of "splitting up" to find out whats going on, John's witty remarks that in time became unbearable. It won't kill you to rent it, but make sure you have a beer and a crossword puzzle for the slow part.