Counter Measures
THE STORY: Michael Dudikoff has been is so many military action flicks I think the Secretary of Defense should just give him an honorary commission. I mean, this guy is always in a movie where he's "Billy Bad-Ass". They change the tone a little bit in this one, but its the same old same old.
Dudikoff is Jake Fuller. As a Navy SEAL he saw his brother die on a mission. This apparently turned Fuller off to violence. He became a conscientious objector. Even though he no longer wants to take life he rose to the rank of captain in the US Navy. (Right.) Fuller becomes a navy medic.I noted that no one called him doctor through the whole movie so he's apparently never been to medical school.
As a "medic" Fuller gets an assignment to be part of an exchange of officers between the Russian navy and the US navy. What no one knows at this time is that a Russian femme fatale, Nishka, and her contacts in the government have made arrangements to take over a super-duper Russian submarine named the Odessa.
The Odessa is carrying some kind of all-powerful nuclear weapon. One that can basically [unwrite] up EVERYONE's day. Petrov, the evil Russian dude seizes control of the Odessa, even as US Ambassador Silver complains to his Russian counterpart that russkie nukes are missing and turning up in 3rd world countries. During the takeover of the Odessa some crewmember vital to Petrov's mission are hurt. As part of the joint exercise, Fuller and his chief nurse Ensign Swain go aboard the Russian sub to render medical assistance. It doesn't take Fuller too long to realize that something is amiss.
Indeed it is! Petrov only wants Fuller to save one man, Nikita, for Nikita is the only one that can work the computer to launch the super nuke, named Hailstorm. Once Fuller has made himself useful, Petrov has the American sailors confined. Fuller and Swain escape their entrapment and try to stop Petrov. During this part we learn that Swain is not an ensign, she's a lieutenant. She's not a nurse, but a naval intelligence officer. The navy basically used Fuller to get her aboard the Odessa with the swap officers program. Fuller was chosen for the mission because even though he's a pacifist now, he was at one time a Navy SEAL.
Petrov's plan is the usual Russians-mad-after-the-cold-war stuff. In order to bring on a new Russia, Petrov is using the multiple warheads in the Hailstorm missile to target Russian cities. Its his belief that once these cities are destroyed this will be good for Russia. Don't ask me...I don't see how nuking anyone contributes to the welfare of a world at relative peace. But then again, I'm not a power mad warmonger.
While the senior US Navy officers bicker about how to deal with the situation once they realize what's happened, Nishka tries to kill Ambassador Silver. He's begun to see the plan and thus become dangerous. She fails, but only because she lets the ambassador's wife shoot first. Also aboard the US navy command ship Admiral Harrison and Captain Blake, a navy intelligence officer argue about how to deal with the clusterf**k. If they outright attack the Odessa they risk setting the Hailstorm missile off and creating a nuclear hell right in the Mediterranean. But if they don't act and Petrov sets off the missile it will cause World War Three.
Luckily for them that Fuller is aboard the Russian sub. Even after Swain is captured, Fuller manages to kick a lot of Russian booty. Single-handedly, he pretty much beats up the entire crew. When Petrov and Nikita set off the missile to launch, Swain and Nikita...who has had a change of heart...manage to stop it. All that's left is the hero-badguy showdown. Do I really need to tell you how that goes? Suffice it to say that Fuller kills Petrov with every means at his disposal
With the threat ended, Fuller and Swain plan a vacation while Ambassador Silver and his wife plan to make a bid for the White House in the next election.
What more do you expect? This is a Michael Dudikoff movie! Its got to have a lot of military lingo, fistfights and a few boobies thrown in it! As far a B-movies go it did have some good points. For one, I like the idea that as a conscientious objector, Fuller never used a gun against anyone, even though he had the opportunity to use one. Funny thing, that objecting. He doesn't want to shoot anyone, but he'll damn well beat the living snot of you. Swain was actress Alexander Keith...I guess her daddy really wanted a boy. Nishka was Lada Boder. Not that that means anything. Admiral Harrison was actor Cliff Potts. I've seen him before, but I can't place it. I just know that he was an asshole in that movie too.
Best Lines: "Well, I guess I did my job."-Fuller to Swain when she explains that he was used to get her aboard the Odessa.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:
1.) So Captain Fuller is a conscientious objector. A navy captain? That's hard to buy. I mean, from the military's point of view what good is an officer that refuses to kill? If Fuller doesn't like killing people why didn't he resign his commission? Wouldn't being a conscientious objector be a detriment in a military career? (I don't know...I've never met one) I'm fairly certain though that if I became one my career options would go down the toilet. I can see it now....next assignment: The North Pole.
2.) When the Russians take over the sub they use gas. Gas that makes the victims spit up mustard. (Geez...do human beings have a lot of thick yellow fluid inside of them? I've never seen something like that come outta me, even after eating three bowls of volcano-hot chili and drowning it with a six pack of German beer) I'm no scientist, but there has got to be a better gas than that. I wouldn't want to have clean up all of that yellow gunk that the crew upchucked.
3.) As many military movies as Dudikoff has been in and he can't do a proper salute! This wouldn't be so glaring, but Ensign Swain, the nurse, does a perfect salute!
4.) I've been here before...its getting old...so if you're filmmaker with the hopes to make a military action movie one day take heed....GET THE [unwrite]ING RANKS AND UNIFORMS RIGHT!
Larson and Blake have khakis and black ties. I'm not in the navy so I could be wrong. I though the tie that went with those uniforms was beige.
Larson has the rank of Commander on his uniform. Yet he gives orders to Fuller and Blake. They in turn, act subordinate to him. Now, Fuller is a captain...he outranks Larson. Look closely at Blake's uniform collar. See those shiney eagles on it? In the army we refer to that rank as Colonel...in the navy its a freaking CAPTAIN! Blake outranks Larson! So why does she call him "sir"? Why does she salute him first? Why does she ask him for permission to speak freely? She doesn't have to! Is it too much to ask for filmmakers to try and get these easily researchable facts right? For the love of Heaven, all they had to do was switch the insignias on Blake and Larson's uniforms! I'm so sick of this! The next director that makes a giant [unwrite] up like this is going to get his ass stomped. I'm losing control....it just makes me crazy-mad!
The commander of the US submarine Springfield has the rank of commander on his collar also. Now, maybe he is a commander. He'd still be called "Captain" by the crew....but this guy looks kinda old...I think he's supposed to be an actual captain.
5.) Petrov tries to bait Fuller by telling him that Swain has been shot and is bleeding profusely. Too bad I didn't see nary a bullet wound, let alone any blood pouring out of her. Note to the director: One bottle of Heinz Ketchup could have made the difference in that scene. Later on the movie they make an effort to show Swain bleeding, but that first scene I don't buy.
6.) When Nishka attacks the ambassador she makes the fatal mistake of talking too much. She has to boast about her plans before shooting her victims! This gives the ambassadors wife time to shoot her. Apparently Nishka went to James Bond Movie School of Villainy.
NUDITY AND SEX: Nishka is seen nude. Swain is seen her bra. Swain was more...uh...impressive than I thought.
HUH?: Lets talk about Lieutenant Swain....it was apparent that she was more than she claimed to be when she told Fuller that they should go to the sub's missile bay because it was the last place the Russians would look. But when she tells him detailed knowledge about the Hailstorm missile, Fuller realizes that she's not a nurse. She's a naval intelligence officer. Fine. Its a good thing that Swain knows how to fight too. Because she damn sure doesn't know about using cover! when she gets in a firefight with the Russians she stands right next to a door. One step and she could use the bulkhead for cover, but Swain...the intelligence officer...stands right there in plain sight and fires at the Russians for a long time. Nincompoop.
Ever notice how much punishment guys can take in a b-movie? When Fuller fights the Russian sailors there's all kinds of punches thrown, kicks to the head, slamming guys heads into walls and such. One guy he hits several times with a fire extinguisher! I always get a laugh out of that. Blows like these would lay most people out. If a clonk to the head with a heavy ass fire extinguisher didn't knock you out you wouldn't feel much like fighting afterward anyway! I got in a fight once and the other guy hit me with a baseball bat. Trust me, I learned the better part of valor. (Not a hard lesson to learn when you're getting whacked with a bat) I saw stars for a week! (Of course the ultimate fistfight was in the movie They Live!)
Does the word "armed" look the same in Russian as it does in English? Because if it doesn't I wonder why Russian computers use English words.
The Russian commissioner that talks to Ambassador Silver is a disgusting fat guy! That's so ridiculous! I mean...oh...he's Russian. That explains it. Sorry....no, seriously folks, the guy is kind of disgusting and I find it hard to believe that the Russians would allow someone with such ...shall we say... a lack of grace and hygiene...to conduct business with foreign dignitaries.
THE TALLY: Want to have a navy/action movie party? My suggestion is to get a few of those big, sloppy submarine sandwiches from the corner deli, a case of beer and then watch these movies...Crash Dive, The Hunt For Red October, and this movie...in that order! Hey, I'd do that with my friends, if I had any!!