CYBER NINJA

THE STORY: Goofy japanese sci fi flicks are hilarious even when they're done well. This one won't win any awards but it's good in a goofy, cheesey kind of way.

In the distant future warriors from the Suwabeh clan are at war with the Dark Overlord. One of their warriors, Hakagi Sharinui (Its really hard to get these names right...there were credits at the end but trust me, its not easy.) is captured in battle and turned into a Cyber-Ninja. Breaking free the Cyber Ninja wants to destroy the Dark Overlord and his Bishop of Darkness, Raimei to recover his body and soul.

Princess Saki, leader of the Suwabeh Clan is captured by the Dark Overlord and intended to be the sacrifice the evil one needs to come to our world. Akagi, a mercenary and five recruits from the Suwabeh go to rescue her. One of the recruits is Sharinui's brother, Jiramoru, who thinking Sharinui is dead wants revenge. The warriors are ambushed and the Cyber Ninja joins forces with them to free the princess and destroy the evil one. They reach the princess, but Jiramoru is killed in the effort. The Cyber Ninja and Akagi kill Raimei and defeat the Dark Overlord, but the Cyber Ninja decides to seek his fortune elsewhere.

This movie is like Power Rangers on acid. Pretty weird!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Note to future generals in future wars: Having your forces in a field with white tents and bright flags invites air attacks.

2.) Haha! These guys have bigass Pagodas on half tracks! Its like a Star wars Ton-Ton was meshed with a japanese house!

3.) Ninjas look funny when the film is speeded up. I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

4.) The Bishop of Darkness looks like a twsited Geisha Girl and the Dark Overlord is like a japanese KISS member!

5.) Waitaminnit! when the princess is kidnapped her general looks at the flying pagoda carrying her with a telescope and he can see her inside it! Thats a damn good telescope!

6.) Akagi picks his recruits for this suicide mission by whoever can yell the loudest. Really.

7.) Everytime someone kills one of the bad guys they strike a pose. It looks neat in japanese cartoons, but in live action flicks you wonder why the others don't attack while the idiot is standing still trying to look cool.

NUDITY AND SEX: None.

HUH?: In the future the moon is within the earth's atmosphere? How can it be under cloud level?

Her name is princess Saki? Doesn't that mean Rice Wine?

When Akagi first meets the Cyber Ninja he berates him for his plan to recover his humanity. Geez, Akagi, he did just save your ass and you do want him to help you, don't you?

THE TALLY: I once loaned this movie to some guys in the barracks and they laughed for a month...yeah, its cheesey, but thats why its here...very amusing!