Starring: Dannu Perkin, Gathering Marbet, Faber Dechaine, Leanna Ames

Directed by: Don Gronquist   

The Story:

The things you learn from the movies. If I knew that the way to get the inaccessible brainy girl back in High School was to involve her in a deadly chase with ex-Nazi war criminals searching for hidden gold I'd have done so!

Jeff, a High School student that grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, wants a better life. He's a boxer and pins his hopes on being able to make the US Olympic Boxing team. But for the present, his life is pretty crappy. Jeff has a good heart though....he spends his time after school playing chess with Mr. Schneider, an old invalid German man that lives in his apartment building. What Jeff doesn't know about Schneider is that he's an ex-Nazi war criminal and back in the waning days of World War II hid away a huge cache of stolen Nazi Gold somewhere in Germany. Schneider kicks the bucket, due to old age, but is kind enough to leave Jeff a mysterious map that will eventually lead him to the gold.

Damn. How come none of the old codgers I knew when I was a teenager ever left me a map to some hidden gold? I used to spend a lot of time talking to old ass Mr. H back in my younger years. I'd keep him company for hours each day and the only thing he taught me was how to hide a bottle of Jack Daniels in a flower pot so his wife wouldn't find it!

Anyway, Jeff can't figure the map out so he gets help from Carrie, the "brainy" girl that he goes to high school with. Carrie thinks Jeff is just a dumb jock, but starts to warm up to him after they talk a little bit. Incidentally, Carrie is apparently from a rich family and we find out later that she's Jewish. I mention that because there's a part where Carrie explains why she goes to public school instead of a private school and then tells the story of horrors her father endured at the hands of the Nazis. Other than that her being Jewish doesn't really affect anything else that much.

Jeff and Carrie aren't the only ones interested in the gold however. Two other ex-Nazis, Guenther and Ilsa arrive to recover Schneider's map. Finding it gone they kill the apartment superintendent and seeing an autographed photo of Jeff in Schneider's apartment put two and two together. Also the CIA has started looking for Jeff also. Back in the days after World War II the US used the former SS officers to help keep the Russians on their side of the Iron Curtain. The CIA wants to make sure that no one discovers that little fact. It complicates Jeff's life a little more since he's wrongly accused of killing the superintendent.

So the movie becomes a cat and mouse game. Not a bad one really, since it was obviously a cheap production. The two teenagers escape capture from the Nazis and turn the tables on the CIA guy trailing them. He's the one that explains why the CIA is involved, by the way. The only problem I had with that part was that Jeff captures the CIA dude rather easily. Some government agent! Jeff shoots him in the leg and he and Carrie make their escape again. I mention the leg shooting only because its gonna come up again later.

Jeff and Carrie then flee to Europe in search of the gold. They need to find a first edition of Mien Kampf in order to get the vital clue they need. Without going into too much detail here's what bugged me about that part....the book is in a museum in England. Jeff and Carrie not only break into the museum, the spend a few minutes skimming the book for the clue before running away all the while the alarms are going off. If I had known English security was so lax I'd have the Crown Jewels in my bedroom dresser right now. Secondly, Jeff has been accused of Murder! How the hell did he get on to a plane to England in the first place?

Eventually though, our intrepid young people find the gold in a cavern hidden under a graveyard. (Where there's a tomb reading "Max Shreck"....cool, but not as clever as the film makers probably thought it was) Then it gets a bit silly. You see, Guenther and Ilsa are close on their tails. I had a hard time feeling any tension about that though. Yeah, Ilsa is supposed to be some crazy female ex-Nazi torture expert (and yes, I'm aware of the Ilsa Nazi movies, not saying this is the same character) , but come on....both she and Guenther are old as the freakin' hills. I wouldn't want an ex-Nazi chasing me around, but if he (or she) were about 80 years old and walked with the help of a cane I think I'd be able to handle them. But there's more! CIA guy shows up still smarting from the leg wound he must have received days ago! You'll have to see it to understand how silly it looks. Anyway, he dies killing Ilsa as she finishes him off. Jeff dispatches Guenther. But wait....there's even more! Remember the superintendent? He's not dead! He shows up, having faked his own demise and he wants the gold! Too bad nobody gets the gold though. The Nazi's booby trapped the whole load and he dies an agonizing death as the gold is destroyed by the explosive charges left by the 3rd Reich.

But at least Jeff and Carrie make it out alive and back to the US. I guess they're both better people for their little adventure. I also guess the police and CIA aren't still looking for them. Who knows? Its the end of the movie.

Usually when someone says "I've seen worse" it doesn't look to good for the movie in question, but I'll admit this one wasn't really bad. I liked it. There were bits that were just a little goofy but nothing that's a showstopper. The Nazis weren't all that scary and the superintendent arriving at the end was...uh...dumb...but its a movie. Though no one really famous was in this flick, check this out....the girl playing Carrie is named "Gathering Marbet". Gathering? Does she have a sister named "Collecting" or something? I guess she's related to Rainbow Harvest.

Best Lines: "Oh, by the way, you had some people asking  around about you today...no cops, neither....some older guy and some white bitch. And I'm talkin' WHITE." -Delron tells Jeff about the Nazis hunting for him.

 Are you kidding me?

1.) Its a minor point, but what the heck....it did occur to me. When Jeff first goes to Caroline's house he sees a photograph of her on a table. A recent photograph from the look of it. But its Black and white! Even if this movie was made in the 80's how many people have black and white photos of their relatives taken back then on display? And Caroline's family appears to be well off! Is it an artistic thing or something? Addendum: recently 2 of my coworkers have put black and white photos of their families on their desks. I guess its not that uncommon.

2.) Why do people in movies do this kind of crap? Jeff finds the body of the building superintendent in Schneider's apartment and when the janitor guy comes a few seconds later he hides. Obviously fearing that he'll be blamed for the murder. But lets look at this....Jeff just came home....he just ran into his friend Delron who lives downstairs when he came in so he has an instant alibi and a witness. Plus he's been with Caroline all evening who can verify his whereabouts. Add that to the fact that the super has been dead for about a few hours, its no big whooped-dee-doo that Jeff is innocent. But movie characters in this situation frequently run and are framed for crimes that they could get out of by simple saying "I didn't do it.". I guess Jeff is a real fan of Richard Kimble.

3.) damn...this is one of those "correct me if I'm wrong" moments. But I gotta ask daggone it. Jeff and Carrie escape capture when Jeff makes a McGyver-ish trap using the TV set, a doorknob and the remote control. But if ya look at the room Jeff and Carrie are kept in...specifically the big freaking windows...I had to wonder why Jeff didn't just knock out the big ass windows on the door and open it from the other side.

4.) Jeff has a moment of reflection after finding the gold. He and Carrie also find a box of teeth with gold fillings....taken from the Jewish prisoners of the Nazis during World War II. Carrie asks him where he thought the gold came from in the first place. I hate to sound greedy, but while I'd feel badly about it I don't think I'd have spent those few minutes pondering mans inhumanity to man. There's still two crazed Nazi war criminals after them! Take the gold and feel bad later, you numbskulls!

5.) The torches Jeff and Carrie light in the cavern are of the Tiki-torch variety you can buy at Home depot for like $10. I know. I have four of them in my backyard. (Great for lighting during evening barbecues).

6.) Considering that the movie was made in the mid nineties why didn't Schneider go after the gold himself before he got all old and feeble? Apparently no one knew where it was. No one knew where he was until they read his obituary.

Nudity and Sex: Our hero and Heroine almost have sex. Carrie is seen in her bra, but that's it.

Huh?:

Who says all American youths know how to use a gun? Jeff misses two old ass senior citizens. Not like they were moving that fast.

Carrie pleads "Don't! Please don't!" when Jeff has a gun pointed at one of their former captor's heads. Wow. what a well meaning and life loving girl she is. Because if someone captured me and threatened to do really painful things to my person....plus killed a buddy of mine....oh, hell, I'd have snuffed that dude wit' da quickness. what the heck was Carrie thinking? Does she live on the same planet as the rest of us?

Being a guy I can only comment on this from a guys point of view....during the obligatory love scene...which, by the way boasts no nudity,  Carrie notes that they are being watched in their hotel room from a building across the street and shoves Jeff off of her telling him to get dressed as they have to get out of there. Firstly, If I were Jeff I'd feel pretty bad if I survived this ordeal. I mean, he's getting all hot and heavy and she can notice what's going on across the street? Dude, you need more practice! Secondly, that's quite a come down for a guy no matter how ya slice it. Ready to rock and roll and the only thing that's keeping you from scoring are some bastards trying to kill you.

How the hell did all of these people catch up with Carrie and Jeff at the end? Ilsa and Guenther I can understand. They're the main villains so you pretty much expect them to show up. But the CIA guy? Did he limp all across Europe chasing them? That's really the stupidest part of the movie. That and the superintendent guy showing up. If faking your own death were that easy I'd have collected my life insurance by now! and how did he find these two teenagers unless he'd been following them from day one? I almost expected Jeff's buddy Delron to show up with the school teacher from the first scene!

Ha! At one point Carrie questions Jeff lusting for the gold. He retorts with a "That's easy for YOU to say". comment. and he's right. Her family has big bucks so she doesn't know what its like to not have money. (Which is what Jeff tells her) That's right Jeff! Stick it to the man! Uh, girl. You go boyeeeee!

The aged female nazi torture expert is named "Ilsa". I wonder if she was meant to remind us of...or even supposed to be, the Ilsa from the Dyan Thorne movies. If so, time wasn't kind to her!  At least she wasn't dressed in her dominatrix gear! Eeew!

The Final Judgment: It won't rock your socks off, but The Devil's Keep is entertaining enough to warrant a look see. If you can catch it at the video rental or buy it for a cheap price check it out. The Inferno grants it three devil heads.