Starring: Erica Blanc, Michael Greer    Directed by: Jean Bismee'    Written by: Charles Lecocq, Jean Brismee'

The Story: Whoa! I really expected a crappy movie experience with this movie and it turns out that I rather liked it! I wish I had the movie knowledge of my esteemed hosts at Stomp Tokyo, or that of the mysterious Dr. Freex or the All Knowing Greywizard. Because this is one of them thar foreign films!

Having spent at least half of my career in Europe, I've developed a fondness for that continent. I don't always understand them, but I love Europeans. (if only they'd love me...sniff) One of the things I love about Europe the most is going to old castles. I loved it. Seeing the way people used to live, hearing the things they believed in way back in the day....I found it fascinating. So this movie had some special appeal to me. For one thing it made me lament on the fact that I wasn't born into European royalty. It would be so cool to live in a real castle, with all of the crap like suits of armor and tales of great ancestors. (Well except for the bad stuff, like genetic flaws from inbreeding and all) Then again, I'd probably only throw wild parties and my friends would wreck the place....maybe I'm better off. I can only imagine the problems I'd have with some of my old buddies trying to move in. "Dude, you got like 50 extra bedrooms....can me and my old lady move in for awhile? We'll pay for beer.".

Without the benefit of subtitles or complete credits I only managed to get a few of the names of the characters. I blame part of that on the dubbing. At times I wasn't sure what was being said or who was being spoken to. But its a moot point. It didn't interfere with my enjoyment of the movie at all.

During the end of the second world war, Baron  R (I wasn't sure of the pronunciation or spelling of his name so he's just going to be Baron R) and his assistant Hans are witness to the birth of R's daughter. Baron R wants a boy and when the daughter is born, killing his wife in the process, R knives the baby. Why would he do such a thing? Read on....

In the present...or at least the 1970's...a busload of tourists becomes lost in the German countryside. A storm starts brewing and the group need a place to crash. They come upon a weird bald guy dressed like a mime on the road. The mime guy, who is really Satan, tells them that they can find shelter at Baron R's castle. With no other choice our friends go there, and are greeted by a cryptic and older Hans.

Although I didn't get all of the names, we have the Fosters, Howard and Nancy, our bickering couple. Howard chases skirts and Nancy bitches a lot...which is probably why Howard chases skirts. Nancy also is obviously rich, since she tells Howard that he only married her for her money. (So why'd you agree, Nancy? Maybe she was just real horny at the time) Then we have a blonde chick with no name I figured out but with a fantastic bod. And another chick that I really didn't notice. There's a priest who I think was named either Alban or Albert. I'll just call him Father Al...and Mason, an old grouchy guy. Topping it off we have the bus driver, a dude that is always eating. When we first see him he's stuffing his gob with chicken. I'll just call him Bus Driver since his name was either Dukah or Dukat and I don't know which or care, for that matter.

Hans says he expected them. He and the maid, Martha...and incidentally, Martha in a younger version was present in the WWII sequence....have already prepared rooms for them. Hans tells them that a female voice called ahead on the telephone and told them company was coming. Baron R usually grants shelter to travelers so its no problem. Hans then shows the visitors to their various rooms, but at each room he tells them a story of some past event, like "In this room in 1436 so and so had their throats cut". etc.

Y'know, I've slept in at least one old ass creaky medieval building in Europe. It was spooky. There were friggin' animal heads hung on the damned walls! If the innkeeper told me some horror story from the past at that time I'd have slept in the truck. As it was I told the Major I was with that if I saw one freaking paranormal thing I was leaving and he'd be advised to be in the truck before I hit the ignition. The major had the common sense to know I wasn't kidding. He just said "I'll be with ya, Sarge.". Smart man.

Anyway, the guests meet Baron R, who while eccentric seems to be a pretty decent old man for a former Nazi. But while they dine, Lisa shows up. Lisa is a beautiful and alluring woman, that Martha seems to know and doesn't want around. At dinner Baron R tells his family history. A curse was set upon his family because his ancestor in times way past made a pact with the devil. Now the eldest female in his family is doomed to become a succubus and serve Satan. The baron also tells them that his older brother Rudolph died in the castle, mysteriously burned alive. When asked he admits he has no daughter. Almost true. We saw him kill his daughter in her crib.

During the night after the travelers have gone to bed or are wandering about, Lisa stalks them. One by one they die, all by their fatal flaws or a variation of the 7 deadly sins. Lisa is a succubus! Its really quite interesting...none of the kills are particularly gory, but none of the movie is particularly boring either. The characters die as you might expect. The bus Driver buys it because he's a glutton, Nancy is greedy and is buried in gold dust, Howard gets his head removed etc....

The final victim is Father Al. Lisa tries to seduce him, but he becomes aware of the danger. Father Al then goes to the castle's chapel, pursued by Satan himself. Powerless to harm the man of God in the chapel, Satan tries to woo the father with promises. Al won't have none of that guff. He tells the devil that if he'll release the souls of his fellow travelers the father will give up his own soul. when the devil asks why he would give up seven souls for one the priest reminds him that he'll save a lot more than seven souls in the course of his life. The devil agrees. But as always the devil cheats. (what'd ya expect...he's the DEVIL!) The next day all of the travelers are alive again, hale and hearty...and with no memory of the past night. But the bus crashes as they leave. Luckily, Father Al wasn't on the bus. Baron R was injured in the morning while practicing his fencing. The father decided to stay to help out. That's when Baron R drops the other shoe. His brother Rudolph has a daughter....with Martha the Maid! Lisa is the succubus from the curse!

Its an old movie. Its an old foreign made (probably Italian) movie. But it was entertaining in the way that most movies nowadays aren't. Horror fans will probably love this movie and real movie buff will most likely have information on it that I don't. I really enjoyed it, which is saying something. Because the only thing I demand from the Inferno is entertainment. If I gets it, I'm a happy camper.

Best Lines:  “Only destiny will tell.” - The priest when Lisa asks if they'll ever meet again. I half expected her to say "Um, right, now how about a f*cking straight answer?".

Are you kidding me?

1.) Wow. I guess Baron R should have saved himself the trouble and the female reporter the horrible, painful, agonizing death. when she asks to take pictures of his wonderful castle he says he can't allow it. a better answer would be "I can't allow it because you'll be horribly killed if you do it behind my back.". Clarity is everything at times.

2.) This is one of those dubbed movies where people say painfully obvious things. When the travelers first get to Baron R's castle the door opens by itself. One of the women say "Look Mr. Foster...the door opened by itself!" even though Foster was looking at the door when it did so. Look, honey, if Foster didn't manage to notice that he's not going to be any help whatsoever in the future.

3.) Mason should shut up! when shown his room, he complains that its stuffy. Funk Dat! If I offer a guy a room in my crib out of the kindness of my heart and he instantly complains I'd toss him out faster than used toilet paper! Mason could kiss my ass! What a jerk. A free room in the castle and he wants to bitch about it? Ingrate.

4.) I won't lie. I like to have a snack or two when I travel. But if you're like the bus driver and have a suitcase full of wieners, you might have an eating disorder.

5.) Martha's a bad liar. when she tells Lisa there's no room for her in the castle because they have visitors its laughable. That Big Ass castle? you couldn't fill every room if you had a traveling football team staying there! Its not even worth the lie. Just say "Go away, bitch!" That's more honest.

6.) Father Al must be one cool mo fo. If a hot chick started appearing and disappearing my bedroom I'd be concerned. he just looks like "Wow. that was crazy. oh well." . No matter how horny I might get, vanishing hot chick in an old castle isn't going to get me...That just ain't right. And it ain't worth risking my willy or eternal soul over either!

Nudity and Sex: Hot lesbo action! Foster and another chick have sex!

Huh?:

As I said, hot Lesbo action...and it does nothing for me really. Is there anything really erotic for a straight male in watching two chicks get it on? if there is I'm missing it.

Foster ain't the shiniest nickel in the cash drawer. He flirts in front of his wife! That's more of a death sentence than screwing around with hellish powers! Any married man will tell you that....The Devil may take your soul but the missus owns your ass.

You know, if I were to stay in a castle and the butler told me about all kinds of satanic visits killing the former occupants, I think I'd just freaking leave. But that's me....

What is it with movies where rich broads complain about their husbands only marrying them for their money. if you believe that divorce his ass! what's the big deal?

The Final Judgment: While this flick isn't the ultimate horror flick, its still a lot of fun to watch. Erica Blanc is pretty hot and the movie doesn't let up in the pace and leave you bored. The dialogue is stilted in parts, but its not so much that the average viewer will get bored. Taken for the time it was made I think this movie is a decent one. If you get the chance the Inferno recommends it! We grant it 4 devil heads!