Starring: Sonny Chiba, Sue Shiomi

THE STORY:  This is definitely the type of flick that used to come on "Kung Fu Theater" when I was a kid. I'm going to have to play this fast and loose with the names....because there were no credits that I could find, and  it probably wouldn't have helped anyway. One thing I know....though Sonny Chiba was top billed in this movie he's only in the first few minutes of it. The real star is Sue Shiomi. I think her character's name was Shiomi so that's what I'm going to call her during this review.

Shiomi has had a pretty f***ed up life. When she was a child she saw her father, Agaki (Chiba) beaten near to death by Nikado and his quartet of karate thugs called the Big Four. Nikado wants  Agaki's job as "the top Karate instructor" and instead of playing fair, he decides to whup his ass in an unfair fight and make him leave Tokyo. Blinded in one eye, Agaki flees to New York City with Shiomi. That pretty much ends her childhood. Agaki trains her himself in Karate so she can one day return to Japan and get revenge.

This movie takes place in the then present world of the 1970's. (Maybe the 60's, but its the modern world.) Agaki's training is rigorous and lasts for years. Shiomi grows into a beautiful but deadly young woman. She hates the training and laments her misplaced childhood. But when Agaki finally dies, he asks her to go to Tokyo on his deathbed and settle the score.

There's no plot twists in this movie. That's what she does. She goes to live with her grandfather and immediately travels to Nikado's school and challenges him to a fight. The students there won't let her see Nikado when she arrives and one beefy guy...I like to call him "Ham Loaf" challenges her instead. One of the other students, who we might as well call "Hero-Dude" warns Ham-Loaf that Shiomi might hurt him. Hero-Dude is good at karate...good enough that he nearly beat Nikado himself while sparring...he can see that Shiomi is an expert just by watching her stance. Well, Ham-Loaf doesn't listen so Shiomi reduces him to a crying pile of blubber and broken bones with just one well placed kick. Then she leaves, but not before telling the students who she is.

This ruins Nikado's plan of running the top Karate school. (is the world of martial arts schooling so cutthroat?) Nikado is planning a big tournament with lots of wealthy backers. If his school wins he'll get...well, rich I guess. In order to make sure he wins he has his group of ass-kickers go around whooping up on the top competitors. But he also has to get rid of Shiomi. So there are a few fight scenes where Nikado's men attack her and get their asses handed to them. At one point they sic some dogs on her, but she escapes unharmed. I wonder if there was a disclaimer on this film stating that "No dogs were Karate'd in the making of this movie"?

Cutting to the chase, Nikado sends the Big Four to Shiomi's house where they begin to kick her and her grandfather's asses. But just then Hero-Dude arrives and announces that Nikado killed his father also years ago and that he's been training with him all these years only so he can one day take revenge. Man, that came outta the blue. Hero-dude says something about Nikado wanting to be in New York City's police force or something...I didn't write it down, but that's the crux of it. Trust me, I don't get it either. (All this time we only see Nikado in Tokyo..what the hell does NYC have to do with this? Even Nikado says that Agaki died in Los Angeles....what the [unwrite]?)

With the help of Hero-dude, Shiomi survives her fight with the Big four but her left arm is badly injured. Her grandfather is badly wounded. But the tournaments coming up and she has to get to Nikado before that. The doctor warns her that her arm could suffer permanent damage if she fights with it. Shiomi challenges Nikado to a fight to the finish anyway....but her grandfather gives her some advice....let her weakness be an advantage. She does. During her fight with Nikado (who cheats....he agrees to meet her but has his goon squad try to ambush her and Hero-Dude. Needless to say, the Goon Squad and the Big Four don't survive.) Shiomi gives Nikado an opening to strike her wounded arm. When he does so she lets her sling fall off and cover his face, blinding him momentarily. Then the hits him with a bone crushing kick to the neck and another blow with her good arm, killing him. The end.

I didn't really give a monkey's balls about the plot, I just wanted to see some karate fights. There's plenty of them in this movie, but the camera holds in tight on the action making it hard to see what's going on exactly. During many of the fights the action is obscured by weird camera angles and quick jumps. That's too bad. When I used to watch those cheap ass karate flicks on TV I never watched them for a plot as much as I did to see some really cool battles. Still, this movie was entertaining enough. Sue Shiomi was easy on the eyes and given the limited dialogue and probably badly translated dubbing she came off as a decent female action star. (Too bad this movie was made nearly so long ago. She's probably old enough to be my mother right now.) I don't have a lot of access to movies of this type but I'll have to find out if she's in any more movies I can get my mitts on.

Best Lines: "You're father was such a fool."- Geez...that's a nice thing for the grandfather to say to Shiomi at the poor guy's grave.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Man, unemployment must be a bitch in Tokyo....this guys willing to fight and kill over a job as a karate instructor?! What's next? Two ladies having paperclip fights on who gets a secretary job at an insurance agency?

2.) As much as I'd like to study under a master of the martial arts it seems that such study requires getting your ass kicked by the teacher on a regular basis. Why is it that way in most movies? I mean, I can see how that's probably true, I just don't like getting my ass kicked.

3.) The big fat guy...I call him Ham-Loaf...was hilarious. Not only does he just look plain funny when he runs around screaming and breaking things when he challenges Shiomi, I busted a gut when she smashed his face in. That part alone made this movie worth it for me.

4.) Aren't there any cops in Tokyo? Nikado's got his boys going around wiping out the competition and no one reports this? If a roving gang of karate guys beat someone I knew to death I'd like to think I'd at least call the police anonymously.

NUDITY AND SEX:  None.

HUH?:  Why did Nikado say he heard that Agaki died in Los Angeles when the caption shown in the film said New York City?

Asking again why the police aren't involved in this whole thing? After all, Nikado's Big 4 tries to murder Shiomi and her grandfather in their home! Aren't there at least laws against breaking and entering in Japan? Obviously murder by karate is legal or someone would have called the law.

There's a whole big "Huh" over Hero-dude's flashback. He just all of a sudden pops in with this whole "Nikado killed my father ten years ago" thing out of nowhere.

THE FINAL JUDGMENT: Don't let the devil rating deter you if you like these kinds of low budget chop sockey flicks. My biggest beef with the movie is that its slightly out of focus on the DVD I found and of course the way the fights were presented. There are a lot better movies you can rent or buy if you want martial arts action, but this one is worthy of a pizza and a few brewskis.