DRUNKEN TAI CHI

THE STORY: I'm not very good with asian names, and most karate flicks don't have credits...but I'll try my best to describe the plot.

Chin Do is an arrogant but likable rich kid. His arch rival Tosha is also a rich kid and very envious of Chin Do. He arranges an ambush using fireworks to get Chin and his brother Ping, but it backfires. Chin Do and Ping beat him up and Tosha ends up caught in an explosion with his own fireworks. This leaves him a little deranged. In order to get revenge Tosha's father hires a mute hitman known only as "The killer" to destroy Chin Do's family. The killer gets Chin's father and brother and burns their house down.Chin Do was out when this occurred and arrives the next morning to find his family dead. Penniless, he wanders until he meets the Old Man and his wife the Fat Woman. they take him in. At one point the Fat Woman kicks Chin Do out and he wanders again, thwarting a kidnapping attempt on the son of the killer. Now that the killer knows where he is, he tries to kill Chin Do. Chin Do returns to the Old Man and the Fat woman. The Old man teaches him Tai Chi. Chin Do discovers that Tosha's father hired the killer to kill him and his family and fights him to the death. Then he faces the Killer and defeats him also.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) The best line in the entire movie is Chin Do's "She never would have beaten me if she didn't weigh two tons!" After the Fat Woman beats him up.

2.) The funniest scene is when the Fat Woman and Chin Do fight. At one point she jumps ten feet in the air, does a backflip and lands on Chin Do. Its like watching an overweight, asian Xena.

3.) The teeth on the Old Man have got to be fake.

4.) Its kind of hard to not like the killer. He has no lines, since he's mute and seems like a very good father to his child. Except for the fact that he wants to kill Chin Do I thought he was kind of cool.

NUDITY AND SEX: None

HUH?: I can't figure out what the time period is in this movie. Its after the invention of the bicycle and obviously, and the killer sports a black fedora...but nothing else in the movie seems modern at all. Including the fact that the police don't find it strange that Chin Do's family and house were burned down in one night.

Punches and kicks...even movements in the martial arts make a sound like two slabs of meat hitting each other even when no contact is made.

THE TALLY: This movie is pretty funny, especially the Old Man. Apparently Tai Chi makes it possible to beat up four or five guys with a hand puppet!