Starring:

Starring: Jamie Gannon, Melissa Renee Martin, Erinn Carter, Chris Boyd

Directed by: David DeCoteau

The Story: As a genre the Slasher movie is really mined out clean. I haven't seen one in years that was even a little bit original. and you know what? That's not a bad thing. The reason most people rent a slasher movie is probably because they're pretty safe. You know what you're getting. Some people will be secluded in a remote location, a killer with some sort of sharp pointy object will arrive wearing some kin of mask and much blood will be spilt. There will be some showing of the boobs or at least sexual innuendo bandied about. Even if its a piss poor movie like say...uh...Bloody Murder, you get what you most likely expected.

Of course the characters in these movies are usual pretty despicable. There's always one or two in the crowd of victims that are decent human beings, but the Slasher fodder are usually people that are easy to hate. This movie is no different in that regard. Rich Bitch Kristin has a plan born of pure meanness. You see Kristin wants to break up the relationship between her sister Angela and her boyfriend Charlie. Charlie isn't one of the "in" crowd. He's not rich and he has a secret. When he was younger he witnessed an escaped lunatic killing his parents by hacking them into teeny-weeny bits. He spent time in a hospital, tried to commit suicide, etc....you know,....the kind of stuff you'd probably do if you saw an escaped lunatic hacking your parents into teeny-weeny bits.

Kristin's plan is one of those you'll not see outside of a cheap ass movie. She's gathered a bunch of her no-goodnik rich friends in a secluded house and hired an actor named Wallace to dress up like a masked killer. She invites Angela and Charlie to a party there. The "killer" is supposed to kill one of the guests in front of Charlie, and as Kristin hopes, this will drive him over the edge and send him back to the looney bin. The only catch in her plan is that her friends are shallow, self centered idiots. Charlie runs off after the first "murder" claiming he can't handle the strain, but Angela soon learns (by the sheer stupidness of Brett) of the plan. But unbeknownst to all involved, a real killer is running around on the property offing the cast. The hook is that Kristin's friends think its an actor in costume, allowing themselves to be easily hacked and chopped.

I have to admit that there were a few nice touches in the script that kept my interest a little. It didn't make the movie good, by any stretch, but they were nice little nuggets. For one, we learn that Kristin has a big grudge against Charlie, not because he's not rich, but because he turned down her sexual advances before he dated Angela. then we find out that Doug, who is Kristin's footstool, is afraid of Kristin...because she knows that HE had a sexual relationship with Charlie in the past. (Even Charlie is upset to learn that Kristin knows this). I can see why this would upset Doug, but Charlie? What's he got to lose? Doug doesn't want that secret to get out because he'll be cut off from his rich family's fortune. But Charlie ain't rich. What makes him worry that anyone would care if he had a homosexual relationship in college? Hell, I found out that one of my friends was gay years ago and I didn't give a crap. Its not like my opinion would have changed his life in the first place, anyway.

To up the body count we have the three stooges inserted in the movie. They're three local hicks who have a grudge against Kristin, and they quickly wind up dead without adding anything to the plot except this little point...which I'm afraid will spoil the ending for you if you read on...You see, Kristin herself is the killer. She planned this whole thing in order to frame Charlie for the murders. But Charlie and Angela knew about her plan and turned the tables on her. But if Kristin was the killer I'd like to know how she changed into costume and out fast enough to kill Bud, the leader of the 3 hick stooges. Or even how she knew they were skulking about. Such things aren't revealed to us in the name of having more bodies to pile up.

There's nothing really to lose if you rent this one folks...as I said You know what you're getting if you rent a flick called "Final stab" There is no nudity, so don't look to see any boobs. The acting is pretty lackluster and the dialogue is crappy, but you weren't expecting Shakespeare were you. I guess the best thing I can say at this point is that it was a lot better than Do You wanna Know a Secret....but That's not a really hard feat to accomplish.

Best Lines:  “Because Goody-Two-Shoes Angela might be knocking her [unwrite]ing teeth out.” -Angela wanting to confront Kristin when she learns of the scheme to drive Charlie bonkers.

 Are you kidding me?

1.) The movie actually begins with a long dream sequence involving Charlie, Angela, a shower, the lights going out and a killer with a sharp ass knife. but as I said its a dream sequence. I think dream sequences like this are a bit of a cheat. Charlie's nightmares are pretty detailed and realistic. And apparently he remembers them in a lot of clarity. Does anyone have dreams like this? That you remember clearly? I have a lot of nightmares myself....but I can only remember a few of them clearly....and who knows if they're that clear anyway? If you want to learn more about the nature of nightmares try reading some of the whacked out stuff that people dream on this site, The Nightmare Project.

2.) Unbelievable. the three hick guys are so stupid its scary. The scariest part is that there are perhaps dumbass jerks like this in real life. Bud, the ringleader coerces his friends in his idea of vandalism and revenge by telling them he won't give them a ride back to town if they back out....ok. Riddle me this...would you, my droogie, be willing to commit a crime under that threat? Walk a few miles back to town or possibly get arrested? Hmmmmm....if you took more then 2 seconds to consider that, God Help ya.

3.) Also....Bud tells the guys he's with to keep their cel phones handy...but none of them consider turning the ringers to vibrate. When Earl calls Bud on the cel phone, Bud is busy skulking around the house when it rings. Dolt! why not wear a cow bell, Bud? Its the same damned thing!

4.) If I were Angela I'd know that Brett's death was fake from the get-go. A masked killer walks into the room, stabs Brett in the back and walks off. No one assembled even screams or freaks out. The way the characters act you'd think that masked killers stabbing a guy in the back in front of them is as common as getting a mosquito bite.

5.) Brett is a retard anyway. While playing dead he answers his ringing cel phone. IN FRONT of Angela, the person he's trying to fool.

6.) Angela tells Charlie that its hard to believe that Kristin could move fast enough to run around killing all of her friends the ways she did, to Charlie. (This is to put that little suspicion on Charlie as the movie ends) but its too little, too late for that. Since we've seen the killer in the costume do the murdering it HAS to have been Angela. After all, are you going to tell me that Charlie managed to find an IDENTICAL costume lying around?

Nudity and Sex: No nudity, but sex is indicated.

Huh?:

Charlie has a little switchblade, which I guess was supposed to make us think he could be dangerous. Only, the blade looks to be about three inches or so. That sure as hell doesn't scare me. I mean, if a guy with a switchblade that size broke in here right now, I'd most likely shove it up his ass. I can find sharper or better weapons just lying around. come on Charlie, I dare ya...use that tiny blade in here and I'll feed this freaking scanner to you by shoving it up your ass sideways.

One of Kristin's friends see a scarecrow with the actor's mask on it and thinks its the actor...even though a small child could tell its a scarecrow. Does being rich make you really stupid or something?

Before I forget...the Hick guys complain that they hate Kristin because her family plays with the livelihoods of their families. Bud claims that Kristin's father laid off his dad before his pension kicked in. You know, it might have made these guys seem more legit, but Bud has what looks like a new truck....and none of these guys are dressed badly. They look like they just came back from shopping at the mall! Do I have to mention that they all have cel phones. Cel phones aren't hard to come by and are priced fairly well, but if you're supposed to be broke and poor having one doesn't endear me to your cause.

This is one of those movies that reminds me of those old westerns. You know, where someone gets shot and dies INSTANTLY. No rolling around on the ground, no moaning or screaming in pain. Just dead, in the blink of an eye. When Angela gets her payback on Kristin she stabs her in the guy, which miraculously leaves no blood on the knife and Kristin dies instantly. I guess its possible, but I don't think a wound like that would kill a person that fast.

How could Kristin have killed all of those people and not have a drop of blood on her?

The Final Judgment: Don't go into this movie expecting a real fright fest. The Infernal Spirits give it two devil heads only because of the Kristin-Doug-Charlie sex angle. Otherwise it would have only scored one.