Freddy vs. Jason

Starring: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Monica Keena, Jason Ritter, Kelly Rowland, Chris Marquette, Brendan Fletcher, Katharine Isabelle      Written by: Wes Craven, Victor Miller   Directed by: Ronny Yu

The Story:  It had to happen, didn't it?  Two of the biggest slasher movie monsters from the 80's battle each other for supremacy. A lot of people really wanted this movie to be made. I'll admit I wasn't one of 'em. I never really liked The Nightmare on Elm Street series. I saw the first one years ago and thought it was pretty dumb. Freddy Krueger never scared me, even though he was a popular "horror" icon. I mean, so he can show up in your dreams and do all of these crazy things. Big Deal. I have real nightmares that are usually more unsettling than anything I've seen Freddy do. besides, if he can turn into a chipper shredder or something in my dreams, why couldn't I just dream that I was Galactus or something and get rid of him. Bah. Freddy's a wuss.

The Friday the 13th series wasn't really much better either. They got just plain silly after the....heck, after the second one which I barely remember. I remember the 3rd one in theaters in 3D,  but that was about the end of my rather small interest in those movies. After that I only saw any following Friday for the sheer silly-factor. Jason was only a bit more frightening to me than Freddy because he was more of unstoppable physical force. Still, that got old fast. Would be victims would chop him up, shoot him, hit him with stuff and for no other reason than the script demanded it, Jason would survive.

But despite how I may have felt about either series, both characters had a big enough fan base to warrant a movie with both of 'em going at each other. I can't deny that this movie is actually entertaining and it was a lot better than I expected. You see, Freddy Krueger, the evil child killer of Elm street has been all but forgotten. Trapped in Hell, he can't invade the dreams of mere mortals anymore because no one remembers him or fears him. But Freddy has a plan. He seeks out Jason Voorhees, and manipulates him into going to Elm Street and resuming his career of killing any young person that has sex, drinks, smokes or is...well, a typical teenager. The sudden deaths remind the community of Freddy's reign of terror, thus giving his the power to come back and start his own brand of bloody mayhem. The only fly in the ointment is that the kids are more afraid of Jason then they are Freddy and Jason doesn't stop at one or two killings. Nope,  he's going after anyone and everyone.

Having no further use for Jason, Freddy schemes to get rid of him...after all, the Hockey-Masked Homicidal Maniac is stealing his thunder. The entire movie is geared to come down to this showdown. Of course, this movie would have been a helluva lot shorter without the other victims...I mean characters. Someone who has seen all of the previous nightmare movies may be able to tell me if these people are the same actors or characters that were in them. I don't know...I just know that our heroine, Lori and her boyfriend Will allude to happenings in the earlier movies. Any kids that survived dealing with Freddy in the past, like will and his friend, Blonde-Guy (can't remember his name) were sent to a local mental hospital and force fed an experimental drug, Hypnocil. This keeps them from dreaming, thus locking Freddy out. Its a conspiracy, you see. The adults of Elm street knew that if no one remembered Freddy he would simply go away. So they effectively removed anything or anyone that would make the youngsters remember him or be scared of him. But when Jason shows up the first person he kills is a friend of Lori's....in Lori's house(!) Will and his friend escape the hospital to help Lori, fearing Freddy has returned.

You know the drill if you've seen any of the other movies.....the other characters are just there to be killed by either Freddy or Jason. Lori is obviously the heroine so we know she'll be the last girl standing. (its real obvious....first she's a "good girl"....secondly she's drop dead gorgeous with big gazongas to boot..... and third, she becomes the focal point for Freddy's activities). There's also a subplot where Will tells Lori that her father really killed her mother and he was a witness. That subplot goes nowhere really, since its discovered later that it was Freddy that really did the deed. I guess they were trying to make her dad, who incidentally is a doctor at the mental hospital, look like a bad guy. I sure hope the revelation that Freddy was murderer wasn't meant to absolve him. Because we also learn that Lori's father had a hand in keeping Will locked up, even though there's nothing wrong with him, and that he has been giving patients hypnocil which is an unapproved drug....and it put some of them into comas!

None of that stuff matters though....the point of the movie is to have Freddy and Jason fight. and to see kids getting killed. Jason does most of the work here. When he walks up to a bonfire party the local teens are throwing in a cornfield its party time alright. Jason starts hacking up kids like there's no tomorrow and I have to admit I laughed my ass off. The final confrontation comes at Camp Crystal Lake. (somehow, Lori discovers that Freddy can be pulled into the waking world and tricks him into our reality to confront Jason. Its just a premise to have the two monsters go man to man, but the idea is for them to destroy each other. As far as the showdown of monsters go, it was pretty cool to watch. You haven't seen anything as goofy as Freddy Krueger trying to do body slams on Jason Voorhees in any of his previous movies. Or Jason bouncing Freddy around off of the walls of a camp cabin.

Kane Hodder, who played Jason in Jason X and the previous movies was replaced in this movie, though I don't know why. Its hard to think of Jason as the "good" monster in this flick. Sure, Freddy is clearly the evil, black hearted villain of the piece, but Jason isn't a choir boy himself. He's still a cold blooded killer, even if he seems more like an automaton. But it doesn't matter which one of these two is your favorite. The end of their fight is structured in such a way that both monsters come out of it with the possibility of a sequel. I kind off hope that there isn't one, though. Freddy vs. Jason didn't completely suck, but that doesn't mean we need to see more of it. These killers may never die, but if we're lucky they'll bury both series with this flick and spare us all.

Best Lines:  “So you're the one everyone's afraid of? Tell me something. What kind of faggot... runs around in a... Christmas sweater? I mean, come on. Get real. You're not even scary. You're not even scary. And let's talk about the butter knives. What is with the butter knives? You trying to compensate for something? Maybe coming up a little short there between the legs, Mr. Krueger? I mean, you've got these teensy-weensy little things, and Jason has got this big ol' thing like... ” -Kia taunts Freddy, just before Jason kills her.

Are you kidding me?

1.) I know Jabootu calls it the Voorhees Unreality Engine, but it got a lot of use in the Inferno with this movie. How the hell did Jason sneak into a bedroom to kill Gibb's boyfriend without being seen or heard? I mean the guy was AWAKE for Pity's Sake! Its not like he was snoozing and Jason crept in. An undocumented power of the VUE is its ability to make sure that anyone Jason kills doesn't scream loudly thus alerting anyone nearby. If Jason magically walked out of my closet and started hacking me to death I might die quickly but I'd damn sure holler my head off.

2.)  For a drug that the FDA hasn't approved, the mental hospital sure has a lot of hypnocil! Its to bad they didn't spend that money on security. The Scooby gang sure has an easy time breaking into the place....as a matter of fact, they would have gotten away scot-free if Jason and Freddy didn't interfere. ( "I would've gotten away with it too if not for those pesky supernatural beings!") This place must get robbed a lot.

3.)  I need to find out exactly where Elm street is in the US....so I can avoid it. Because apparently its within walking distance of Camp Crystal Lake, where Jason does his carving up of idiot teens. How else could Jason have gotten to Elm Street? and the gang in this movie don't travel very far to get to it either. (Although they drive there) Unless Jason has a car.....well, I doubt that. maybe he caught a ride in the Creeper's truck. Yeah, and the probably passed Ashley cotton's house on the way.

4.) Watching Jason and Freddy go at each other is hilarious. But you have to wonder? Can they actually destroy one another? Jason is practically unkillable. Nothing has ever been able to kill him before. And the same goes for Freddy. One would think they'd be able to pound on each other until Doomsday and neither one would win. (Yeah, you can say at the end that Jason wins, but its alluded to that Freddy is still alive and able to make a comeback if a rematch is ever made)

5.) Doesn't Will have any parents? Wouldn't they object to having their son locked away for no real reason? If Freddy's powers are known to the adults in town....if they know there's a supernatural dream killer on the loose....wouldn't they, you know, maybe hire a priest or an exorcist before deciding to lock away the teenagers that have knowledge of it?

6.) Gibb is a real piece of work. Its established early in the movie that she's a teenage alcoholic. she has an abusive boyfriend that she sheepishly obeys ("Don't make me ask you twice, babe." he threatens when he wants sex) and she passes out drunk at the bonfire party. Freddy did her a favor when he offed her.

Sex and Nudity: Oh, come on. That's the bread and butter of these movies. Although Gibb's nude shower scene smacks of a body double. I didn't think Katherine Isabelle would appear nude.  (And I was right...its a body double. Isabelle's IMDb bio even says she refuses to appear nude) A nameless skinny dipper gets killed also in the buff. Gibb has sex, though no frontal nudity is seen in it.

Huh?:

I went to few bonfire parties out in the woods with my friends waaaaay back in my younger days....and If I turned and saw a 7 foot guy dressed in rags, wearing a dirty hockey mask and carrying a machete I sure as silver wouldn't start poking him in the chest and telling him to get lost.

Freeburg, the gang's resident stoner sure looks like Jay from Jay and silent bob, doesn't he? As a matter of fact, he even acts like Jay! While the crew are breaking into the mental hospital in order to steal some hypnocil Freeburg pulls out a joint and announces its time for a "J break". What the hell? I mean, I get the idea, if they were trying to tell me that drugs make you stupid, but what in the name of Bela Lugosi made this guy think that lighting up some wacky-tobacky in the middle of a robbery was a good idea?

WHY? WHY, GOD, WHY?!! Linderman was probably the most likable character in the movie! why did he have to die? When he tells Kia what a bitch she is I cheered! You go, wormy little guy, you rock! I knew a lot of snotty, bitchy chicks like that in school and it was great to see him put her in her place!

Is Camp Crystal lake closed? I hope not because they sure was a lot of equipment and materials lying around. Why would there be all of that propane there if it was defunct? And if it was open, why was nothing locked up?

Talk about a token character....Kia is the ONLY minority in the whole movie. By the way I could swear that in the first half people call her "Kim" instead of Kia.

The Final Judgment:  It doesn't have to make sense, it doesn't even have to follow its own continuity.....this movie just has to entertain. Like most slasher films there aren't any thrills or chills. There aren't any scenes that'll make you jump out of your seat. If this is the finale for these two, then its not bad at accomplishing what it set out to do. If you've no interest in Freddy or Jason you won't watch this movie to begin with, but if you do, the Inferno gives it Halloween punkin heads