THE STORY:  I wasn't going to review this movie except for one thing...the completely awful Matthew Broderick-Americanized version of Godzilla put out a few years before. It sucked. But this movie didn't suck. I just wanted to let the world know that the American movie is NOT GODZILLA! That's the Pseudo-Godzilla! This is Godzilla, King of the Monsters! Godzilla isn't in badly written American phony versions....Godzilla is in those old Japanese movies with cheesy effects and fake cities...with guys in monster suits duking it out. Although this movie is more hi-tech than the old Godzilla movies its still the REAL GODZILLA. Godzilla isn't just a monster...he's a force of nature!

The special effects in this movie weren't bad...at least compared to other older Godzilla movies...but they were cheesy. I loved them. The dubbing wasn't even that bad. The story was typical sci-fi Godzilla stuff. Aliens want to take over the earth and Godzilla smashes them.

The aliens in this movie (or alien...I guess there was only one of them, in a way) come in the form of a meteor that lands in the ocean off of the coast of Japan. Katagiri, head of the CCI (I forgot what it stands for, but its a crisis intervention agency apparently) wants the thing lifted to the surface. Readings indicate it could be the source of a powerful new energy source. Meanwhile Godzilla makes one of his appearances. Actually, the first thing in the movie is Godzilla smashing [unwrite] up. You'd think no one would live in Japan...after all, they all act like its routine for Godzilla to open his can of radioactive whoopass every few days. Shinoda and his daughter Io, work for the Godzilla Prediction Network, a privately funded group that tracks Godzilla's movements and hopes to learn from him. They hang around a reporter named Yuki who is working on a story of Godzilla and wants good photos of him.

This is strange, huh? It seems like Godzilla makes regular appearances, so why does Yuki want photos? There has to be photos of the Big G by now. Anyway, the meteor turns out to not be just a meteor. Its a spaceship, perhaps organic, that's been dormant for 60 million years. Once exposed to sunlight it comes to life and immediately attacks Godzilla. The big G is already wounded from being hit by new missiles from the army. Actually its probably a good thing for the Japanese Army that the alien intervened. Godzilla was being hit by all these missiles, but hey, he didn't get his turn yet. I'm sure that the Big G would have done like always and completely eradicated them.

The alien defeats Godzilla. He sinks into the ocean, wounded badly. But Shinoda finds a piece of Godzilla skin and makes a discovery. Godzilla is practically indestructible. His cells regenerate superfast and heal. So its extremely hard to kill him and he'll ubdoubtably be back. This is a good thing...the alien ship is hostile. It escapes the army and plants itself in the middle of Tokyo on the tallest building. It also begins to suck information out of all the computers in the area. Katagiri tries to destroy it by blowing up the building, but fails. Shinoda finds that the alien is analyzing Earth. It wants to discover as much as possible so it can re-engineer the planet to suit its own needs. And in soaking up the information the alien knows that Godzilla's regenerative powers are the key to success.

Or failure! The Big G, fully healed comes to Tokyo to drink saki and kick some ass...and he's all out of saki. Godzilla goes toe to toe with the alien even after it uses his DNA to create a twisted clone of the Big G. I don't have to tell you that despite this the Big Guy wins, do I? I really shouldn't have to tell you that the Big Guy smashes up most of Tokyo in his fight. Man, insurance must be crazy-expensive there!

I know there are people that will say this movie was stupid, bad and a waste. They aren't Godzilla fans. Godzilla fans love this kind of stuff. Bad effects, bad dialogue, lots of monster fights. The Big G entertained me a lot on those lazy Saturday afternoons of my youth. None of my buddies went out to play if they knew Godzilla was on "Dr. Shock" or "Creature Feature" that Saturday. As I mentioned, Godzilla isn't in the poop burger with Broderick. That's not my Godzilla. Godzilla doesn't want your sympathy or love! He wants your respect! And he definitely doesn't hang out with Chihuahuas or eat Taco Bell!

Best Lines: "Did you see that flying rock go by? Its unbelievable!"- The General to Katagiri. No matter how you slice it that just sounds plain silly.

"Boy, that's ironic...it woke up after 60 million years and then Godzilla destroyed it the very next day."- Yuki comments on the destruction of the alien....she should consider that destroying things is what the Big G does best.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Everyone seems so alarmed at the fact that Godzilla is approaching. like they were caught unaware. I can see the first few people being suprised, but further inland? Does news travel that slowly? News about an Empire State Building sized lizard that breathes fire? How could you not see Godzilla coming? Post Stevie Wonder as a lookout?

2.) Shinoda is against Katagiri's idea that Godzilla must be destroyed. He says "There's so much we can learn from him." Uh, like what? How to smash an entire city? How to crush a few thousand people with one step? Is he nuts?! Hey, I like the Big G movie wise, but if he was stomping my city on a regular basis I'd have to go with Katagiri.

3.) Boy I wish at least one of my old friends were here when I watched this so we could make our little MST3k style comments. When the general comments "We know from experience that when Godzilla's attacked he advances instead of retreats..." I had to snicker "probably because he always kicks our ass, so it would be stupid for him to retreat."

4.) When Shinoda goes to the soon to be exploded building to save Yuki I had to wonder...why bring Io, his ten year old daughter? I mean, would you risk the life of your child while saving someone you maybe cared a little bit about? To make it even worse, Yuki takes Io with her back to the same doomed building to rescue Shinoda! What's the Japanese words for Child Abuse?

5.) Okay....the battle is over. Godzilla triumphs. Someone comments that scientists created Godzilla and know all we want to do is destroy him. Yuki asks "Then why does he keep protecting us?". (And yes, Shinoda says maybe Godzilla is in each of us, or we're in Godzilla something like that) I just find it funny that when she asks why does Godzilla protect us we see scenes of Godzilla not walking back to the ocean, but scenes of Godzilla smashing buildings and setting fire to the city with his flame breath! Yeah, sister, he's protecting us all right. Burning down the city is good for humanity.

NUDITY AND SEX:  Well, Godzilla never wears pants.

HUH?:  Like all government big shots Katagiri seems to have supreme authority over anything. When he's informed that Shinoda is still in the building he's about to blow up, he says "I'll have to send more flowers." rather than delay the detonation. Doesn't he have to answer to anyone? Without giving Shinoda a chance for survival that's almost like murder. (Yeah, the building might have to be destroyed in order to presumably stop the alien, but even a token few minutes delay would have seemed appropriate.)

Katagiri has more balls than brains. Godzilla has more brains than Katagiri. You can call Godzilla's destroying the alien an act of a dumb animal. But Godzilla purposely killed Katagiri...and he could have killed everyone else there, but he only went for Katagiri. So Godzilla is a lot smarter than the run of the mill giant, destructive lizard. Katagiri on the other hand wants to stand there like a dolt when he could have ran just to face his nemesis in the eye. That's a brave gesture...when your nemesis doesn't outweigh you by about a few thousand tons.

One complaint that I've heardf and a friend of mine agreed with doesn't make snese. They believe that too much time was wasted on the human characters subplots and there wasn't enough monster fights. Um...maybe...but if they made a 90 minute fight twixt Godzilla and any monster of your choosing it would be kind of boring wouldn't it? I didn't find the movie that bad at all.

THE FINAL JUDGEMENT: If you like Godzilla...the real Godzilla you should see this movie. If you liked the (ugh) American version seek help and rent this. Because this is Godzilla...and remember...Godzilla's in all of us.