The Golden Voyage of Sinbad

THE STORY: Ah, those golden days of youth when I was a young kid. My cousin Kieth and I and I would go to the State theatre on Main Street for the Saturday matinee. Armed with five dollars apiece the both of us would rush down there to see a Sinbad movie. In those days (which weren't that long ago...I'm not that old) we could go to the matinee, get some popcorn, a soda and some raisenets and still have a little change! But the old days are gone and those assholes back in that town I'll never go back to tore down the State Theater. At least I can still find old Sinbad movies on tape.

Sinbad and his crew are sailing the seas when they spot a strange bird. One of the crew fires an arrow at it, causing it to drop a golden amulet. The bird, which turns out to be a demon-bat thing tries to retrieve it but is fought off. Sinbad wears the amulet, even though his first mate tells him it is bad luck. That night a storm blows the ship off course and they end up at the shores of Marabia. Sinbad goes ashore alone and is almost mugged by Prince Koura, the black prince. Koura wants the amulet. Sinbad retreats behind the city walls where he meets the sultan. (I can't recall the sultan's name) The sultan explains that the amulet is only part of a puzzle and Koura seeks all the pieces so he can have ultimate power. Oh, did I mention the sultan wears a golden mask because Koura horribly burned his face? Anyway, Sinbad and the Sultan along with Margiana, a former slave girl and Haroun, the lazy son of a merchant set sail to find the other pieces. Koura is close behind. They find the secret island and Koura seals them in a cave. Using his super skills, Sinbad and his band escape but Koura brings to life the statue of the indian goddess Kali to fight them. He also steals all of the pieces to the puzzle and races to the place that will give him power. As all Sinbad movies go, there's a lot of stop motion monsters for our heroes to overcome. In the end Sinbad faces Koura who has used the magic pool he's found to restore his youth and become invisible. But Sinbad prevails! He kills Koura and gains the prize, a golden crown, that he gives to the sultan. The sultan's features are restored and our heroes sail back to Marabia, triumphant!

It amazes me that a movie made so long ago can still be better than some of the crap that Hollywood spills out nowadays. I'll admit, I like Sinbad movies, but still...this movie was way better than say, Godzilla or the Avengers. Whenever Koura used his powers it visibly aged him. He told his assistant that the demons of darkness demand a heavy toll! Dr. Who fans probably have heard of this Sinbad movie, because Koura is acted by none other than Tom Baker, the 4th doctor and in my opinion, the best.

Best Lines: "My heart is full of bravery....I have very cowardly legs."- Haroun

"Believe in Allah, but tie up your camel."- Sinbad and the sultan simultaneously. This is the last line in the movie.

You may be interested to know that was surfing other bad movie sites and came across the review for this movie at the incredibly cool site Stomp Tokyo. That site has these same two quotes listed in it as memorable. I swear on a stack of bibles that its a coincidence. It makes me happy to know that I perhaps think along the same lines of the guys (and gals? I dunno) of that most excellent site.

1.) When the demon bird thing is first spotted high in the air, the crew says it was too big to be a jackdaw. When we see it its smaller than a sparrow! Would it have been that hard to make it look bigger?

2.) Sinbad ain't too bright. When he picks up the amulet at first he sees a vision of a dancing girl with an eye painted on her hand (it turns out to be Margiana) I'm sorry, I think a ghost chick with a weird tattoo would have made me throw it overboard.

3.) Why do all of these Arabs look like white people?

4.) Get the [unwrite] outta here! Sinbad uses a rather flimsy looking bow to shoot a heavy piece of iron through the top of the cavern they're trapped in so they can climb out via a rope attached. There's no way that bow could have shot that iron piece that high.

5.) Whoa! Kali pulled out those swords from nowhere like Highlander!

6.) For a supervillian, Koura is no Dr. Doom*. When he has Sinbad at his mercy he stands in the one place that nullifies his invisibility...the fountain. Sinbad guts him for it, too.

7.) Using his magic drains his strength and when one of his creatures is killed it saps his life force, so why does Koura leave his defenseless little demon bird in the cave with Sinbad and crew? He could've commanded it to fly out of there before they saw it and killed it. At this point Koura has the amulets and is on his way to the place he needs to get to. Why dick around with Sinbad now?

NUDITY AND SEX: None, but Margiana has some big gazoombas and the greased her up good so they're always shining.

HUH?: Koura doesn't seem all that powerful. If he's a constant threat why didn't the Sultan just attack his stronghold? From what we see he only has one henchman!

Isn't amazing how heroes can be trapped in a cave and not be crushed by all of the falling rocks?

THE TALLY: Its straight up, no fake outs...good guys against bad guys. Definitely a good flick for those of you who want to relive younger days, see stop motion monsters or watch a movie with the kids....it ain't that scary.

*Dr. Doom is probably the greatest comic book supervillian to comic book fans. If you type his name in your search engine you'll find various websites about him. He's the main enemy of the Fantastic Four and pretty much every superhero fears and respects him because he's just that good at villainy.