The Howling: New Moon Rising

THE STORY: This is a really rare occasion. When I first journeyed into the Inferno I had the movie Doom Generation to use as the example of a horrible movie. I have not reviewed Doom Generation but I've seen it. Its trash. Its worse than trash. Its an insult to every person that likes to watch movies.

After awhile I saw the movie Omega Doom. Omega Doom is pure crap.  But its an Albert Pyun movie so that's kind of expected.

But today...today I saw The Howling: New Moon rising. This movie is so bad, it is such an incredible waste of everything involved in making and watching a movie that I can't write a review for it. To simply say it sucks would be doing this movie a favor. Its nothing more than s*** on film. It was so bad than other than the two or three things I've already written about it I'm not even bothering to skewer it. You see, even a movie that goes into the pit may have one or two redeeming features. Not this crapola. It doesn't deserve a review only a warning. DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE!

I fell asleep watching it and I assure you I was wide awake and I damn sure wasn't drunk.(but man I got loaded when it was over) That's how bad it is. A little research has shown me that this festering boil of a flick was filmed using the actual residents of some small western town. Okay, I'm going out on a limb here....this is coming from me, Wilsonstone, a guy that used to be a member of Amnesty International, a guy that loves children and only wants world peace at heart....I want everyone in that town sterilized so that no other movie this bad can made again! God! I need a drink and a shower to get this garbage off of me. Then I need to find the base chaplain. The stink of the Howling: New Moon rising can only be destroyed by an exorcism.

Best Lines: Nothing...NOTHING in this movie is worth documenting.

1.) Okay Dammitt! Its only about fifteen minutes into this movie and trust me if you watch it you'll get pissed....what's going on? Did all of this stuff concerning Ted happen before all of the exposition with the father and the police? If not then how long has the inspector been with the cop?

2.) Why are these people so quick to bury the body? Ted is implicated in two murders? Doesn't that bother them a little?

NUDITY AND SEX: It wouldn't matter if every shapely woman in the movie was nude. It wouldn't matter Athena herself appeared nude in it. This movie could come with a free trip to the Caribbean with ten horny playboy bunnies. It would still suck!

HUH?: The only "Huh" is how this crap even made it onto video. Someone will pay for this!

THE TALLY: Out, Foul spirit! Out I say! Writhe in the pit for all eternity!