Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS
To quote Indiana
Jones: "Nazis...I really hate these guys."and I really do.
THE STORY: I have always been fascinated with the mentality of the nazis during W.W.II. The sheer evil and cruelty that they unleashed is almost unbelievable to me. So when I saw this movie on the shelf I rented it. I didn't think it would be historically accurate or anything, I expected it to be a war-drama type thing, with female nazis. I should have read the box more carefully. The cover of the box shows Ilsa in an SS uniform with her shirt open enough to display the majority of her ample bosom. That's a big clue, because this movie is really nothing more than an excuse to show nude women in bondage and being tortured.
Ilsa is the commandant of Camp 9, a prison camp where she conducts cruel medical experiments. At night however she picks on of the male prisoners and lets him "pleasure her". (read: screw) Ilsa's sexual appetite is strong and she ultimately feels unfulfilled which is bad news for the guy, because then she has him castrated. Ilsa becomes fascinated with Wolfe, an American prisoner. Wolfe is basically a love-machine and Ilsa can't get enough. Every night he is summoned to her quarters to "rock her like a hurricane". Wolfe confides in his fellow prisoner, Mario, that he is a freak of nature...ever since puberty he has been able to hold himself back from orgasms at will...he can screw all night if need be and not get tired. (Insert your own smartass remarks here) Ilsa tortures and experiments on the women of the camp, disfiguring many of them. If a male prisoner and a female prisoner are caught speaking to each other, both are tortured to death. The majority of this movie is watching Ilsa torture nude women or screw Wolfe. A nazi general visits the camp and is impressed with Ilsa's work. She throws the general a party where a nude female prisoner is pretty much tortured throughout. The female prisoners, with the help of Wolfe and Mario plan an escape. To be honest what have they got to lose? Wolfe promises Ilsa a night of ecstasy. He ties her to the bed and she's begging for him to knock her boots, but Wolfe gags her, takes her gun and frees the other prisoners. Within minutes the prisoners have killed the guards and captured Ilsa's personal staff. Wolfe and a female prisoner head for the hills, but the majority of the others want to stay and torture the nazis as revenge. Mario elects to stay because he has been castrated by Ilsa and thinks there's no place in the free world for a "half-man". The prisoners kill the remaining nazis but more nazi soldier's show up. They wipe out everyone there. The leader of the nazi soldiers shoots Ilsa who is still tied to the bed. Then he radios his HQ letting them know that Camp 9 has been destroyed..the allies will never find out what horror went on there.
As I said this movie was nothing more than an excuse to show nude women being tortured and Dyanne Thorne (Ilsa) being humped to death by Wolfe. this movie has a kind of cult status and that's probably the only reason to see it. (not a good reason, I admit, but a reason) One fact I discovered while reading about this film on the Internet Movie Database, is that it was filmed on the same set as Hogan's Heroes. I kept expecting Sergeant Schultz to appear bellowing "I know nothing!"
Best Lines: "You have been given the honor of sleeping with a German woman, an officer of the SS!"-Ilsa, to one of her love slaves. I shouldn't even say this, but before I was married I got a lot of honors during my first tour in Germany. Heeheee.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:
1.) This movie is pretty offensive. Ten minutes into it I was thinking that.
2.) Wolfe is a pretty arrogant guy. He KNOWS Ilsa won't castrate him because he's a "human machine". Jerk. He tells poor Mario about his sexual prowess in a manner that is not unlike bragging. Doesn't Wolfe have any compassion for his friend? Mario's been castrated! I don't think he really wants to know all about how Wolfe can satisfy women.
3.) Ilsa tortures some of the woman with some kind of electrified Dildo. I'm not kidding. She wants to see how much they can take. I know war speeds along scientific breakthroughs but I didn't know today's super-dildos were a product of nazi experiments.
4.) Ilsa has Wolfe hump her two buxom nazi aides while she watches. At this point I just shook my head. Amazingly Wolfe still wants to escape. c'mon...he gets to have hot monkey love with three well endowed women pretty much all the time? (I'm only kidding...the sadism of Ilsa and her staff would sink any woody into the ground.)
5.) This movie hit a new low....the SS general that visits the camp wants Ilsa to pee on him...and she does it! Eeeew. I already know nazis are the scum of the earth...they don't have to over-emphasize it.
NUDITY AND SEX: Are you joking? Didn't you read any of this?
HUH?: So, none of the poor shmuck guards at this camp ever reported to any superiors that Ilsa is [unwrite]ing the entire prison population to satisfy her insatiable appetites?
After the prisoners take control of the camp, Karla, a female that has been horribly disfigured by the nazis wants revenge. Wolfe says to leave the nazis bound since the allies are coming. They have a mini discussion about it, but if I was there we wouldn't even have had that. [unwrite] torturing them for revenge...if you're that hard up for vengeance, just shoot 'em and get the hell out of there while the gettin' s good! These bozos wait around torturing the nazis long enough for the other nazis to show up and kill everybody. I'd have blown their heads off and ran for it.
THE TALLY: When the movie begins there's an almost unreadable paragraph by the producer, Herman Traeger on the screen about how this story, though fictitious is based on real events during W.W.II. Its unreadable because the film quality is pretty bad, the type is too small and its white on a red background to give you a headache. If you want to see sex in a movie go rent a porno. (There's no porn on this site...I hate that garbage) I'm quite certain that somewhere someone has made a freaky deaky X rated movie about nazis. If you want to see a WWII movie go rent Saving Private Ryan. (Its an excellent movie!) If you're interested in learning more about WWII I've added a link below to a good site. This movie is only interesting because its so twisted. I'm sure it was a real shocker when it was made in 1974, but nowadays its just a cult movie to watch with nothing really offered in it. There are two sequels to it too, Ilsa: The Siberian Tigress and Ilsa: Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks. I guess Ilsa survived that gunshot to the head.