Starring:

Starring: Zack Galligan, Lisa Ann Hadley, Daniel Jenkins, Amy Jo Johnson, Robert Duncan McNeill

Directed and Written by:  Josh Olson

The Story: As far as killer bug movies go, I've never seen one that had me sitting on the edge of my seat. Spiders, roaches, bees, worms, etc, are all kind of creepy and probably dangerous in sufficient quantities, but they don't freak me out on the big screen that much. Especially when you know any direct-to-Video flick about killer insects is going to have the usual group of people trapped somewhere situation and a butt load of CGI. But this movie did have something going for it.

Amy Jo Johnson. Yes, Amy Jo Johnson, formerly the Pink Ranger on the god-awful TV show Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I'm not going to lie to you my droogies, I thought the Power rangers were about the stupidest show for kids I'd ever seen. It made my insane with anger on how bad it was, still I would come home from work, fire up the tube and watch it. Why? Because of Ms. Johnson. I thought she was kinda cute in that "girl-that -would-never-go-out-with-me" kind of way. As soon as she appears on the screen though, you pretty much know she's gonna be the "final girl" in this movie.

Back to the killer insects....well, in this movie the insects...they look like flies, so I suppose they are supposed to be flies....can't exist in direct sunlight. Which actually contradicts a lot of things that they do. A group of college friends  get together at the funeral of one of their classmates. Apparently this guy wanted his buddies to have a little together after his death at a lonely seaside cottage so they could reminisce about the old days and be killed. Now at least these characters aren't 20 plus year old actors playing teenagers. They're 20 plus year old actors playing late 20/ early 30 aged people and to paraphrase one character they are annoying as hell. They're not so vile that you wish the monster bugs would hurry up and kill them, but after listening to their inane banter for the first 20 or so minutes of the film, they didn't endear themselves. What's a shame is that the characters personalities and dialogue was mundane....it didn't make you hate or like them, but it made you glad that you weren't friends with them. The only two characters that really matter are Eric and Jesse, however, and as you may expect, they're the least bland of the bunch. Jesse is the girlfriend of the dead guy and doesn't really know the others, Eric is one of the crowd, and is a self admitted drug dealer/ user. Eric is also played by actor Robert Duncan McNeill, that Trek fans will know as Tom Paris from the pretty bad Star Trek: Voyager. Looks like he's been putting away a few donuts as he looks a lot beefier than I remember him.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Eric and Jesse are the characters that will last until the end of the film. That's not like giving away a spoiler or anything, because in movies like this you know that most of the characters are there to die grisly deaths and only one or two of them is going to survive. Actually though, they all could have lived if the flies supposed weakness of daylight was used the way it was described. In some scenes the flies disintegrate when exposed to light, yet they're able to fly from one person to another in broad daylight. During the first fly attack I wondered why the characters didn't just run out of the back of the house down the beach and to safety. But then, being a real person and not a movie characters endows me with a sense of self preservation.

It might take a rocket scientist to figure out exactly what these flies were. The villain of the piece, is the "dead friend" of the gang. He was working as a janitor in a government run lab and that's all the exposition we get about how he came into contact with the flies and how he can somehow control them. His reasons for killing his friends are that they were hypocrites. Its the same thing another character in the movie earlier, which, really is kind of funny. I mean, this movie isn't about guys that went to school in the 60's or something and turned out to be the kind of people they protested about...its about a bunch of people that went to college in the late 80's or early 90's. Besides, idealism doesn't pay the rent.

This movie is worth renting if you just turn of part of your brain and watch it, but don't expect an overabundance of gore of  scares. Its not really scary at all, and the gore effects are pretty cheap looking, though effective. Amy Jo Johnson is Jesse, if you haven't guessed that by now. The one other thing the movie didn't bother to explain, perplexes the hell out of me. How'd a guy that works as a janitor get a girl that looks like Jesse?

Best Lines:  “I took a hit of "X"(ecstasy) earlier...it really takes the edge off.” -Eric explains how hew can stay so calm while in serious danger.

 Are you kidding me?

1.) I've never seen so many people having a good time at a friend's funeral. Man, I hope when my number comes up my friends will at least have a few moments to remember me rather than have a class reunion.

2.) When the killer bug threat becomes apparent one of the vic...I mean characters...shouts "Back in the house, now!". Funk Dat! They're all outside next to their cars! If I see a dude that should be dead still walking around with cartoon bugs coming out of his neck It's pedal to the metal time. If those bugs wanted me they'd better be able to go from 0 to 60 in ten seconds.

3.) There's no clear explanation on how Steven came into contact with the insects. From what I understand he was a janitor at some research center. That's not good enough, I'm afraid. It might have worked waaaaay back in the 80's....you know, a janitor or night watchman finding something they shouldn't have access to in the first place while working a tip-top secret facility. But I ain't buying it here. And why was this guy a janitor in the first place? He went to college with the other characters. You'd think a Bachelors degree would land him at least a job as a Fry Cook.

4.) The bugs might not be able to stand the light, and they may need to infest human bodies in order to function in the light, but they damn sure don't use common sense. when the vic---I mean characters, are holed up in the house, the bug-dominated humans outside could have easily smashed down a window or door to get in. I wondered why the victi....I'm sorry,...the characters didn't just run out of the back door, around the house and escape into the woods. I f***ing would have.

5.) Yeah, like that the bugs couldn't get into that flimsy cardboard box and take over Eric. Right. I hope Eric sent his check to Jabootu for that Hero's Exemption thingie.

6.) The bugs take you over by entering your mouth, right? Ok, then why don't they take advantage of the fact that the victims...and this time I mean victims, are screaming, panting, talking or breathing? It only takes a second for a bug to fly into your mouth. I think most anyone reading this has accidentally swallowed an insect just once in their lifetime. Imagine if the insect actually wanted to fly into your mouth! Besides, if these bugs are so gonzo smart why not fly into the victims noses?

Nudity and Sex: One of the girls is seen topless for a few seconds. Jesse takes a shower, but no real nudity is seen., (Damn!)

Huh?:

Hmmmm....I wonder if Amy Jo Johnson's tattoos were real tattoos? The ones on her back, that Eric identifies as the Chinese symbols for Eternal Life are interesting. Probably only to me, because....hell, I'll admit it...I think Tattoos are stupid. I interview quite a few people with tattoos and I always chuckle inwardly when they tell me its the Chinese symbol for this or that. Why? Because most people I meet with this stuff, can't read Chinese and don't know anything about Chinese culture at all, except what they see in a chop-sockey movie! Now I don't claim to be an expert on China either, but I don't have a permanent Chinese symbol emblazoned on my body.

I had no idea it was so easy to blow up a house.

When the gang  are trying to figure out how bad their predicament is, Eric theorizes that the killer flies breed inside of the human host. One of the girls gets upset and says "Can we stop talking about this?". Sweetheart, there's really nothing else to talk about! Its not like Eric is making up disgusting remarks at the dinner table, your lives are in mortal danger! What does she want them to talk about? Last nights episode of Friends?

The Final Judgment: The judgment of the Inferno is this....while this movie is definitely no prize winner, its so bad that you should avoid it altogether. If you like silly killer insects movies, this movie is okay enough. The demons give it 2 devil heads.