Invader

THE STORY: This is something I don't do this, but the first time I watched this movie I took a few notes on some scraps of paper instead of the notebook I usually use. Then I lost the scraps so I didn't write the review. Fortunately, 2 weeks later I found my scraps in my messy "Junk Drawer". Now, usually I write this stuff right after I see the movie ( keep in mind I'll watch the movie twice in most cases, or at least fast forward to different parts the second time around to make sure my notes are good ) and come back to it a day or so later and edit things, put down the things that became clearer to me, go over my notes, etc....but if I don't start it at least 24 hours after seeing the movie I just forget about it and rent the movie again. (If I didn't copy it)  But to be honest I don't want to rent this one again. I'm just cheap that way. So I'm going to go through this with my incomplete notes and my memory.

Ben Cross (the Unholy) is Ren, a scientist from another planet. His people have been utterly decimated by some other aliens. The bad guy aliens are determined to hunt down the last of Ren's people and destroy them. Unfortunately Ren's people are all men! The bad guy aliens eliminated all of their women and they cannot procreate. So Ren comes to earth, lands his ship in the middle of the woods and goes to a bar. (hey, that's what I'd do if I were an alien!) There he meets Annie, a school teacher. Annie is trying to get over Jack, her ex-boyfriend that's a cop. Jack wants to have kids and Annie is can't bear children. Ren dances with Annie and gives her big, long, lotsa-tongue kiss that leaves Annie stunned. Then Ren goes away. The next day Annie passes out at work in front of her class. Her doctor tells her she's pregnant. Confused on how this could be, Annie goes home to ponder her circumstances. Ren breaks in her house and spirits her away. Because Ren is an alien, the baby will be born in a few days and Ren must get her to his ship in order to make sure they both survive. But "Willard" an evil alien is after him. Willard poses as a bounty hunter. He teams up with Jack to track down Ren who he says is a dangerous criminal. At one point Willard almost catches Ren and Annie in the woods, but loses them. He has to kill one of Jack's deputies in order to protect his secret. Eventually Jack realizes that Willard is not on the level. Willard kills the other deputy and leaves Jack hanging on the side of a cliff. Jack manages to climb back up but not before Willard is getting close to Ren and Annie. To make a long story short, especially since my notes are incomplete, Annie and Ren make it to a mountain top where the baby is born. Willard is hot on their trail and faces Ren for a final battle. Ren is mortally wounded but manages to kill Willard before he can kill Annie and the baby. Jack arrives just in time to see Ren's friends come down in a giant spaceship and take the baby. Before Ren expires he tells Annie that she has saved his race and due to her pregnancy with an alien baby, she may now get pregnant.

This low budget cheapie wasn't that bad. I'm a little sick of the alien-baby-that -will-be-born-in- some-unbelievably-short-time thing. I can't run a list down, but we all know we've seen that before.

Best Lines: "If he's half as good as that in bed, I'll never walk again!"- Annie after Ren's magic-make-ya-pregnant kiss.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) If its so important to save his race, why didn't Ren take Annie with him right away when he knocked her up? He knew that the bad guy aliens would be out to get him and possibly kill Annie once she was knocked up.

2.) Why do aliens always say things like "I come from a planet orbiting a white dwarf sun!" Ren says that. Well, your race is doomed already then! It might sound kinda cool, but life as we know it would have to be radically different from us in order to survive on a world like that. Can't anyone in hollywood read a book on basic astronomy or planetology? It would have been no more improbable for him to say "I came from a planet remarkable similar to your earth!" and have  the same effect.

3.) Jack is a deputy himself not the police chief. How come he's running this investigation on Annie's kidnapping?

4.) Jack and his deputies come up to another town after hiking through the woods after Ren and Annie. Ren and Annie have been there and have just left. Jack commandeers a police car from a local cop. Is it that easy? He just tells the cop inside he needs the car!

NUDITY AND SEX: none

HUH?: This whole alien thing needing a baby bears examination. Annie only had ONE baby. How is that going to replenish Ren's race so they can fight their oppressors? If they have all of this super technology  can't they just clone Annie and make their own woman? Or can't Ren use his super-medical doohickey he carries around just to harvest some eggs from Annie? Or can't Ren find some more women for his boys on the spaceship? Plus, what position does Ren's activities leave the Earth in? Ren tells Annie his enemies have destroyed his race because they felt they were inferior to them. He also tells them that his race is physically inferior to them. Well, now the bad guy aliens know about Earth? What's going to stop them from coming to Earth and wiping out the inferior humans?

Annie says it to Ren and I have to agree. Effectively he raped her. It makes it hard to feel sorry for him in any way.

When Annie and her friend first see Ren come into the bar they talk about what a 'hunk' he is. Its funny because Ben Cross has such a f***ed up haircut I can't buy it.

THE TALLY: This movie was kinda cool. I liked it, even though it wasn't too exciting and Ren wasn't particularly interesting. There are some pretty boring parts but I think it deserves at least three devils.