Starring: Gina Philips, Justin Long, Jonathan Breck, Patricia Belcher

Directed and Written by: Victor Salva

The Story: I love monsters. Really. They make the world a slightly more interesting place to live in and honestly, I get bored really easily. I guess I should explain that better...I love urban legend monsters. When I was a kid I wanted Bigfoot and the Yeti to be real so badly....and I thought it was cool that people said there was a "Lizard Man" and a "Moth Man" living somewhere in the south. Yeah, I was scared of 'em, but it did add a little bit of colorful adventure to an otherwise mundane existence. The monster in this movie, the Creeper, falls into that category. As he stands now, he's a fairly original monster. Lord knows if there's a sequel they'll probably screw it all up.

Brother and sister, Darius (Darry) and Patricia (Trish) Jenner are driving home from college, taking the "Long Way" through some unnamed rural state. They aren't taking this route for the scenery, but instead because Trish wants to put off going home and explaining to her parents why she broke up with some guy. Its a really minor subplot since we never find out why she broke up with the guy or why she doesn't want to tell her parents. All of a sudden a huge, ugly, beat up ratty looking truck roars up behind them and tries to run them off of the road. In a panic, they manage to escape the crazed driver, causing minor damage to their car and their underwear, presumably since the incident scared the living bejeezuz out of them. They do note that the trucks license plate says "BEATINGU" which Darry thinks at first means "Beating You", but any viewer with a brain cell or two will know means "Be Eating You". So either the owner of the vehicle is a really mean wife beater or a suave guy with a rotten truck that can, uh,....woo the ladies. (okay, that was crude but my friend laughed when I said that). Well, any real viewer will realize that the owner is the villainous monster of the flick which raises the question....how does a monster get personalized plates? Does he go to DMV on a regular basis to have his "Inhuman Killer Truck" inspected? To do that he must have a license. What does it say? "J. Creeper, 13 Depths of Bloody Hell, Eyes: Depends  Hair: None"? These are questions scholars will ponder for years.

Still slightly shaken, the two siblings continue their journey only to pass an old abandoned church where they see the evil truck and its driver dumping what looks like a body down a drainage pipe. The driver begins to chase them again, causing our hero and heroine to crash off of the road. Luckily there's only minor damage to their car, though the state of their undergarments is probably lot worse. Darry suggests that they go back to the old church because if it was indeed a body they saw the mysterious driver dumping, it may be someone in need of help. Trish accuses him of just wanting to have a "little adventure" and that they should continue on home and call the cops at the first opportunity. Actually, both are reasonably good arguments. Yes, there may be someone in need of help, and as Darry explains, they may not live long enough to wait for someone to find a cop out here in the middle of nowhere. But Trish, though motivated by fear, seems more intelligent. After all, if this guy is a killer what exactly are they going to do if they have to confront him? He almost killed them twice already without really trying hard. And using Darry's cell phone is out of the question, because its a horror movie cell phone, meaning its out of juice when needed most. Man, I thought my cell phone sucked. Darry, you moron. Why even carry a phone if you're not going to charge it or carry a charger/ spare battery on a long trip?

As I said, its a horror movie, so they go back to the old church, and after the appearance of some rats, Darry falls into the drainage pipe and into a chamber of horrors. What he finds is pretty much what I expected. Bodies stitched together all over an obscene underground labyrinth like some bizarre Sistine chapel. This naturally freaks him the hell out.....which is good thing. Ever notice how in a movie when someone finds dead bodies stitched together or any other kind of really bad stuff they always come out telling they're companions something like "It was a f***ing nightmare, man! It was like, all gory and stuff!" hysterically, but are otherwise not shaken badly? Not so here, my droogies. Darry manages to find his way to the surface but is almost catatonic with shock...for quite some time. Its a breath of fresh air really. How many people wouldn't be turned into a drooling idiot at least temporarily after seeing something like that?

Darry's fright lasts awhile too. With Trish driving they make it to a roadside diner where Trish gets the locals to call the police. A payphone on the wall rings with a message for Darry. A woman's voice tells him that he'll be surrounded by cats and if he hears the song "Jeepers Creepers" to run. Snapping out of his shock, Darry angrily hangs up. When the police do show up at the diner they view the story with skepticism, but send someone to investigate the church. The Creeper isn't there of course. While the characters are in the diner, the Creeper manages to break into Darry and Trish's car, sniff Darry's dirty laundry and flee. The two state troopers and our heroes leave, supposedly heading for either the scene of the crime or the police station. Unfortunately for the two law officers the Creeper has a different plan. He kills both of them en route. Darry and Trish watch in horror as the mysterious villain begins chowing down on a cop's head. Then they do the smart thing and haul ass.

The pair seek help at a lone house in this sparsely populated area, only to find a crazy old lady and her brood of cats. Amazingly the fact that the voice on the phone mentioned cats doesn't even enter Darry's mind at that point. But who can blame him? Not only is this old woman a fruitcake, the mysterious villain has followed them. The Creeper makes short work of the shotgun toting cat lady while Darry and Trish run for it. But the Creeper is determined. He stands in the road blocking their path. Trish decides enough is enough and runs him down....not once, mind you, but several times! You go girl! With the monster seemingly dead, the siblings roar off into the night and eventually make it to a police station.

The unknown caller from the diner then makes her identity known. Its Jezelle, the local psychic lady, and she comes to police station to warn Darry and Trish about the Creeper. Though she doesn't know who or what it is, she knows that the Creeper comes out for 23 days every 23 years to eat. He finds food by scaring the sh*t out of anyone unlucky to cross his path and somehow the fear tells him if that person has something he'd like to chow down on. Trish and Darry doubt Jezelle's sanity but it doesn't matter too much, since the Creeper shows up. I guess the Creeper likes the movie The Terminator because he starts ripping cops apart while Darry, Trish and Jezelle seek escape. Hmmmph....they seek escape much the same way my cat, Banshee does....By running to a place that they can't escape from. Cornered our heroes are at the mercy of the monster. The Creeper isn't as efficient as the Terminator though....many cops are still alive and they burst into the room armed to the teeth. Unfortunately, the Creeper has a hold of Darry and reveals himself to be a demonic looking bat winged monster guy. Trish pleads to him to take her and let Darry go, but to no avail. The Creeper breaks out of the window and flies into the night taking Darry with him.

Here's where I got a small pleasant surprise....I expected the standard ending where Trish and Jezelle go to rescue Darry from a fate worse than death but that's not what happens. Instead we see exactly why Jezelle told Darry earlier to run if he heard the song "Jeepers Creepers".

Its the little things that count sometimes in a movie. The ending wasn't the biggest shocker I've ever seen but it was different enough to grant this movie some kudos. Also the fact that the monster was fairly original was nice. But one thing that stuck with me was that Darry and Trish had mundane little conversations....like real people do. They seemed like a brother and sister, instead of two actors pretending to be related. I have to wonder though if Trish's willingness to sacrifice herself for Darry at the end was supposed to be some sort of change of heart for the character. When we first meet her she seems a little self absorbed. She's against going back to the drain pipe to see what the Creeper dumped down there and only is persuaded when Darry makes her feel a little guilty about not helping if someone is in trouble. But when the chips are down she all of a sudden offers herself up to this demon-thing to save Darry. Well, it doesn't matter all that much, I guess, because this is still a pretty good movie. I've heard there's a sequel, but I've not seen it....at least as of this moment. I just hope they don't screw it up. (If the Creeper only comes out every 23 years, how can there be a sequel? If anyone has seen it, email the Inferno and clue us in!)

Best Lines:  “You know the part in scary movies where somebody does something REALLY stupid and everybody hates them for it? Well, this is it!” -Trish tries to talk Darry out of investigating the drainage pipe.

Are you kidding me?

1.) I've mentioned it already, but I still love the fact that the Creeper has personalized plates on his Demon truck. What's next....a bumper sticker saying "My other People Hunting Truck is a BMW"?

2.) I hate to seem like a chicken....ok, no I don't....If I were Darry I never would have gone into that drain pipe. Never. If someone was down there calling for help I just would have found the nearest phone and called the police. I like adventure as much as the next guy, but that was just plumb loco.

3.) Tell me if anyone else had this thought...when the Creeper paces in front of the car, doesn't it kind of remind you of Darth Maul pacing in front of that force field in Episode One?

4.) I know people are probably more laid back in the rural outskirts of America, but when Darry and Trish come into the diner asking for someone to call the police the waitress and the patrons act like "What for?". You know, if a girl comes into a diner I'm eating at with a guy that's all disheveled and obviously frightened I think I'd react with a bit more urgency. Maybe things like that happen on a regular basis in this place.

Nudity and Sex: None

Huh?:

If the Creeper really wanted to get our two heroes he could have done so at the diner. He obviously has no qualms about attacking in front of witnesses. He revealed himself to the police. Hell, he fought a whole police station! What would you rather do if you were a ravenous man-eating demon? Attack your prey in a police station manned with heavily armed professional law officers, or attack your prey in a diner full of unarmed and not-too-quick to react locals?

Its funny in a way....after all they've been through Trish and Darry doubt Jezelle's predictions? What!? I mean, bat winged monsters don't just show up every day you know. I think I'd tend to believe she really has psychic powers if a guy that has bat wings were after me.

The Final Judgment: Its not every day you can find a monster movie that's not...well, hokey. If you're like me....and I know you are....you enjoy a good monster/ killer flick. Jeepers Creepers should satisfy that craving. the Infernal demons give it five devil heads and a full pardon.