THE STORY: I had quite a few good laughs from this cheapie, and a few moments of sadness. I was sad because it could have been so much better.

France, 1944- David Hollander, a US soldier is almost killed by German troops. He's saved at the last minute by a mysterious figure. In 1991 Hollander is a famous war correspondent, but he's obsessed by the man who saved him in 1944. He's amassed photos of the man and several other taken in several different wars. The Civil war, WWI, WWII, Korea, Grenada, etc. Hollander is trying to solve the mystery of how these men can be in photos spanning over one hundred years. Meanwhile in Nicaragua a battles rages on. The bad guys are led by Vladimir (That's the only name you get....no rank, no title) and his femme fatale, Tara.

Hollander goes to Nicaragua where he meets his old friend, Colonel Jack Crawford. Hollander tells Crawford that the Secretary of State sent him there to get the lowdown of what's going on. Now at this point I wanted to know what was going on, but I kept watching. In time Hollander spots the four men  that he has in his photos. They are under Crawford's command. When Hollander asks about them he's told that they got lost from their unit and now basically are in this unit. (Yeah, yeah, its stupid but there's more) Hollander gets wounded during a firefight and the leader of the mysterious four, Jonathan, saves his life and tells him that he has given him some of his blood. Jonathan invites Hollander to be one of them. When Hollander doesn't answer he tells him to think about it. Soon after that Vladimir disguises some of his soldiers as US troops and has them raid a village. When Col. Crawford, Hollander and another soldier come to investigate the remaining villagers stone them. The mysterious four show up and save them. Hollander goes to see Crawford later at the base camp and tells him that the four men are vampires. Crawford thinks he's nuts. Vladimir attacks the camp and kills all of the troops then kidnaps Crawford and Hollander. The mysterious four come to the rescue. At this point we learn that Vladimir and Jonathan are old enemies. Crawford dies in captivity, but Hollander remembers that he can be one of the mysterious vampire dudes and breaks free.(Just like that...I'm not kidding!) Hollander and Jonathan face Vladimir in a fight to the death. Its not a very exciting fight, but it ends with Jonathan shoving a grenade in Vladimir's stomach, blowing him away. With Vladimir dead, Hollander joins Jonathan and his band and they head off to Afghanistan.

This movie is so bad its entertaining. I kept watching just to see if it could get any worse. Now anyone who's read my review of Supernaturals knows I have a pet peeve about movies involving the military when they get it all wrong. A little bit of research and effort could fix that problem in most cheap flicks, this one included.

Best Lines: "I had the world by the balls and I looked down and saw the balls in my hand were my own!"- Jonathan to Walker, a cocky vampire troop.

1.) As stated above, I hate it when cheap (or expensive) movies get it all wrong portraying the military. I was once told that military uniforms in movies always have one thing wrong with them because its illegal to impersonate military personnel. I don't know if that's true or not, but some movies just don't even try. Here's a breakdown on the more obvious [unwrite]-ups in this movie:

A.) When we first meet Crawford, he gives an order to a private in his tent. The private salutes and Crawford asks what he's waiting for. The private tells him he's waiting for the colonel to return his salute. Crawford's a [unwrite]ing COLONEL for cryin' out loud. He'd know that...but lets just say the colonel forgot military courtesy (Yeah, right) The private's salute is all [unwrite]ed up. Like the kid on the Cracker Jack box. Here's a hint for any non-military folks...when you don't have a hat on your fingers should be touching the right end of your right eyebrow...not with your whole hand over your forehead. This wouldn't bug me so much if it wasn't easily verifiable.

B.) They have one guy that's identified as a private that has a big ass ZZ top beard. Maybe in the Civil war, but in 1991...no way. Again, that's pretty much common knowledge and could have easily been found out by the film makers.

C.) Are these guys Marines or Army? The marines and navy roll their sleeves like these guys had in this movie, on the outside. Army and Air Force roll sleeves inside-out, so the camouflage is showing. Also, if this is a base camp in hostile territory, how come NO ONE is wearing a kevlar? (Helmet) Hell, during Desert Storm the chaplain chewed me out for going to the bathroom without my gear...we had to have our weapons, flak vest, kevlar, chemical gear...the whole enchilada, just to take a piss! It'd be getting to serious to go into the fact they the base had no visible defensible perimeter, noise and light discipline, etc.

D.) Jeeps. This is 1991 in the movie. The army doesn't use jeeps anymore (and didn't in '91)....we use HUMV's.

E.) Speaking of uniforms...Col. Crawford wears an entirely different uniform than his men do. He has on a biege uniform thats not quite a marine class B uniform or a navy uniform. Why doesn't Crawford have on BDU's like his men? Its a combat zone!! Couldn't they have gone to the local Army/ Navy surplus tore and get one more uniform? More amazingly he doesn't carry an officer's sidearm.

2.) Since when does the Secretary of State send a reporter to on official fact finding missions?

3.) The combat scenes are laughable! Lots of explosions and gunfire, but its so badly done it looks like kids "playing war."

4.) If these guys are vampires how can they go out in the daylight? We never see them actually suck blood from anyone, either. Walker tells Hollander that "This is for real!" when Hollander pulls a cross out on him, but still they never explain why they don't act like 'classical' vampires. They bare their fangs and all, but other than that, no clues.

5.) When Crawford and Hollander show up after the village massacre and the lost platoon saves them, Crawford asks Jonathan what are they doing there. they just tell him they were in the area. First of all, if Crawford's the commander of these men in a combat zone he should know where all his patrols are.

6.) Tara's death scene probably blew the $7.43 they had for Special effects.

7.) Um...how can Jonathan and his men just show up and join Crawford's outfit? If there are other US troops operating in the area Crawford would know and try to get these men back to their units. Where are their records? You just can't walk up from the jungle and join a military unit!

8.) When Crawford is first seen in the movie he's complaining that he wasn't given the troops and equipment to get his job done. I find that dubious at best...most commanders wouldn't accept an assignment like that, where they know that their soldiers are basically going to be sitting ducks for the guerillas. I also find it hard to believe that Vladimir's men could take a US military base camp. Well, this camp, yeah...it sucked. But in real life they'd most likely have beau coup firepower and air support. Ever see an M60 fire? Or a 50 Cal? Its terrible to behold if you're the target. Or a couple of blackhawk attack choppers? If Vladimir sent some kind of supernatural soldiers against Crawford's men I'd buy it...but against the real army or the marines the guerillas would have most likely been shot into teeny-tiny ribbons. (Especially the marines....those guys are nuts! But don't Sergeant Bontreger at Badmovies.org that I said that!)

9.) I mention it in passing, but Crawford's first lines are something about "Tell General so-and so to get off of his fat ass and blah blah blah". Right. I'd like to see a general that let a subordinate tell him to get off his 'fat ass'. Better yet, I wouldn't want to be the private that had to tell the general that...well, in a way that private could screw Crawford. I can see him now, talking to the general: "Sir, Colonel Crawford said you'd better get your [unwrite]in' fat ass up and blah, blah blah. Yep, he said you were a no good pencil neck bastard, sir!"

NUDITY AND SEX: None

HUH?: When the villagers throw stones at Hollander and Crawford you can see the rocks bouncing off of them. Gasp...they wouldn't be fake rocks would they?

Vladimir threatens to torture Crawford and Crawford says he's bluffing. Why would Vladimir be bluffing? He just killed all of Crawford's men!

Tara is supposed to be 'something else' not a vampire. When she attacks one of the vampires she kicks his ass! But then Hollander shows up and stabs her and she dies. Why couldn't the vampire kill her then?

How do Jonathan and Vladimir know each other? Why was Vladimir in Nicaragua? What was he trying to accomplish? Why'd he have villagers shot in the beginning of the movie? Is Vladimir supposed to be Vlad the Impaler (Dracula)? Why do Jonathan and his men show up at wars? AAAUUURGH! They don't even TRY to explain this!

THE TALLY: This movie could've been good if it had another director, better writer, better actors, a bigger budget, etc....but it was so bad it was entertaining to watch. Being military myself I found it amusing. Thats why I harped so bad about the military in this movie. Hey, I'm proud of the US Army! We kick ass! Non-military folks may not find it as amusing in the same ways, but its sheer crumminess makes it decent entertainment for the bad movie lover. For being pretty stupid, but still making me laugh I give it four devils!