Martial Law

THE STORY: I only rented this movie because Cynthia Rothrock was in it. Cynthia's been in some pretty cheesy movies, but I like her. I guess I'm attracted to women who can kick my ass.

Sean Thompson is a tough, karate-kickin' cop. His girlfriend, Billie Blake is a tough karate kickin' cop. Well; Sean's got a problem. His little brother, Michael, is working for Rhodes, a sleazy businessman that owns a dojo and deals in selling stolen cars and weapons. Sean tries to keep Michael out of trouble, but Michael's a little idiot. Sean doesn't know that Michael's been stealing cars for Rhodes or even that he's been studying karate at the dojo. There's also a scumbag named Faster Brown that's been trying to get in good with Rhodes. Rhodes kills some Asian guy that has the typical Asian tattoo that means he's part of some assassin's guild. Sean and Billie take the case of finding out who this guy is and what he was doing in the states. They question Ling, a Chinese guy that used to be part of some shady organization. Ling tells them he'll get some info even though he's scared that his life won't be worth a plug nickel if he does. He was right. Ten seconds after Ling talks to the cops he's killed. Faster Brown witnesses Sean giving Michael some money to buy their mom a birthday present. Faster knows that Sean is a cop and believes that Michael is ratting on Rhodes. He uses this to try to get back in Rhodes organization. Rhodes tells Michael to kill Faster to prove his loyalty. Michael can't do it, so Rhodes kills both of them. Devastated by his brother's death, Sean discovers that his brother was connected with this dojo. Seeing how the first dead guy was killed by some kind of magic kung-fu death punch, Sean goes undercover to the dojo. Rhodes hires him and some other goons to go the airport on an arms deal. Once there Rhodes and his main lackey, Wu, kill everyone, the buyers, and the goons...except for Sean. Unknown to Sean, Billie followed him there. Rhodes decides to kill Sean with his bare hands. He knows Sean is a cop. Billie enters and takes on Wu. Being the heroes, Billie and Sean kick ass. Once Rhodes is down they begin to walk away. Rhodes isn't unconscious or dead though. He attacks once more and Sean uses the deathblow on him.

Well, the problem this movie had is that Sean and Billie didn't actually do much police work. I didn't expect them to; it's a karate-action flick. But the only connection that Sean finds to the dojo is a trophy for karate in Michael's room. I'm also sad that Cynthia Rothrock, who played Billie, was just "The girlfriend" in this movie. She did kick some ass, but I wish her part were bigger. Rhodes was played by David carradine. Remember when he was Cain on the TV show Kung Fu?

Best Lines: "Me now!"-A big ass guy to Sean. Sean has to fight Wu to prove he's good enough for the dojo. The big guy wants a piece after Sean beats Wu. Its funny because Sean hits him in the nutsack and headbutts him, putting him out instantly.

1.) There's the obligatory crime that the karate guy breaks up at the beginning of the film. These guys hold up a store, take hostages then demand a chopper. Has anyone ever actually gotten a chopper in one of these situations? I mean, when has a holdup ever ended with the crooks taking hostages and then having the police fly them to Mexico? Didn't these nimrods see "Dog Day Afternoon"?

2.) Wu, a Chinese dude has an aussie accent and calls people "Guv'ner". Weird.

3.) Man, the Foley artist went for an Oscar during Billie's fight scene on the stairs. It was like one of those Hong Kong imports. Every punch made a loud "Thwack!" or "Thud!". When Billie bangs the dude's head on the railing there's a loud "Bong! Bong!" like a freakin' bell!

4.) Cynthia Rothrock kicks ass! She's stacked too! But she must have a cast iron stomach because she takes some blows in the gut that would cripple most people! During her fight with Wu she gets hit in the face a few times but she's not even bruised. She just has that Captain Kirk-style blood dripping from her lip.

3.) How the hell does Rhodes get up for his obligatory villain-makes-one-more-attempt-to-kill-hero move? Sean hit him in the head about 500 times! If that didn't kill him, he sure wasn't getting up. Is he an android or something?

NUDITY AND SEX: None. Too bad. Cynthia Rothrock...rowwwrrrr.

HUH? : How'd these guys show up to kill Ling right away. He just talked to Sean and Billie took ten paces away and the bad guys kill him with a throwing star. If you rat on this organization they know instantly I guess.

Why was Rhodes planning on going to South America? We don't find out and to be honest, I don't really see any evidence that he did anything! If he didn't hire Sean with the intent to kill him he'd have been in the clear.

Actually, its amazing that Rhodes wasn't a suspect. Everyone he kills he just dumps the body where it'll be found! Why doesn't he think about burying them in some secluded spot or sinking them in a lake or something? Master criminals don't get to be master criminals by leaving things around for the police to find!

THE TALLY: For an American made chop-sockey flick, this was mildly entertaining. There were a lot of fights that were just there to be in the movie. They weren't particularly GREAT fights…about what you'd expect in this type of movie. The heroes always win, even after they've been hit with blows that would kill anyone who wasn't born on the planet Krypton. Its just too bad that Cynthia Rothrock didn't get more screen time. I was going to watch this with the sequel Martial Law: Undercover, but it has Cynthia teamed with Jeff Wincott. After watching Future Fear, I need to stay away from Wincott for awhile. Maybe next week or so...