Mirror, Mirror 2: Ravendance

THE STORY: I've said this about many movies, but I really, really mean it about this one..For the love of Heaven, why was this movie ever made!? Oh, and dig this...it came in a hologram video box. It had a girl in a bikini sitting next to the mirror removing her top and the hologram shows her screaming at the mirror with a raven breaking out of it. Needless to say that never occurs in the movie. The girl doesn't look like Marlee, the female lead either.

It begins with nuns taking care of Nicolette, a crazy woman ranting about an evil mirror. Sister Asia tells her the mirror is harmless, uncovers it and of course all hell breaks loose! In the next scene we join Marlee and her retarded little brother, Jeffrey,are in an orphange after the death of their parents. Theres a big inheritance they're up for but niether one is eighteen yet. Roslyn, Marlee's older half sister was not in the will and has a plot to drive Marlee insane and get control of the money. She has the help of the crooked Doctor Lasky. (Roddy McDowell) Years before Sister Asia, a nun at the orphanage removed the covering from the evil mirror and it blinded her. When we first see the mirror in the present, its in a room in the orphange where a roc/metal/thrash band is setting up for a charity gig. Marlee is watching them and they uncover the mirror. Lightning strikes the mirror then comes out of the mirror incinerating the band and knocking Marlee out. Roslyn and Dr. Lasky come to the orphanage and stay to 'take care' of the injured Marlee, but she knows they only want to get their hands on the money. The demon in the mirror and a mysterious young man known as Christian help Marlee. Sister Asia convinces Marlee that Christian is evil and Marlee stabs him, but it seems like he's trying to stop the evil mirror after it consumes Jeffrey. Then Marlee finds herself in the past as Nicolette, the crazy woman from the beginning in a complete ripoff of the end of the first movie!

This movie makes little sense, its long and drawn out, not very interesting. It really has nothing to do with the first movie except the same Mirror prop was used! Why, oh, why, was it even made? Watching this movie was like having someone fart in your face for 90 minutes.

BEST LINES: "Something is definitely wrong! Its you! You're the evil!"-Marlee to Christian after Sister Asia convinces her that Christian is the evil from the mirror. The only evil here is the script!

"Good and Evil do not do battle in mirrors!" -Famous last words...when Sister Asia says this and uncovers the mirror at the beginning of the film all hell breaks loose two seconds later.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) This must be a big ass orphanage. Marlee's got her own room and its huge! Actually we don't see any other kids except for Marlee and Jeffrey.

2.) What kind of orphange run by nuns lets a wierdass thrash band set up with no one watching when two children are there. The band members instantly behave like thugs, they've got tattooos and mohawks and stuff...I just can't see nuns inviting them to play ther, let alone without anyone watching them.

3.) The director forgot to tell Marlee and Jeffrey to react when lightning strikes the band. The special effects of the lightning were added into the film later. When the band gets hit Marlee and Jeffrey are just standing there as if they don't see it. I should have shut the tape off then.

4.) Jeffrey has the most annoying voice. Any scene with him speaking in it is like having someone stick long needle in your ear. Even thinking about it makes me want to throttle that kid.

5.) Considering the fact that Roslyn was not in the will, and was not named Marlee and Jeffrey's legal guardian why do the nuns let her bring in Lasky to basically keep Marlee drugged up and try to convince them that she'd be better off in a sanitarium? Isn't kind of obvious that they're only interested in the money?

6.) Theres one part that is really scary in this movie...during the credits at the end theres something about this being an installment in the "Mirror, Mirror" series...which of course means that there is the possibility of yet another "Mirror, Mirror" movie existing. Brrrrrrr. Even the sheer thought that anyone would consider making another movie like this one frightens the hell out of me!

NUDITY AND SEX: none.

HUH?: The end of this movie makes absolutely no sense!

Is this movie trying to be an erotic thriller or a horror movie? I can't tell, except that its failing miserably at being anything but AWFUL!

What the hell is going on. How can Roslyn and Lasky "stay" at the orphanage. God, this movie sucked!

Who the hell WAS Christian!? Aaaargh! Who wrote this terrible piece of Donkey Dung!?

THE TALLY: Ok, this wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but after rewatching it again, only to be able to write this review, I've had it. Watching it will make you depressed. I feel like the director and the scriptwriter just sodomized me. This movie SUCKED UGLY LETHARGIC WALRUS ASS, and to do my part to protect future generations from its awfulness I hereby give it the tombstone it so richly deserves.