Monolith

THE STORY: You would think that a sci-fi cop movie with Bill Paxton and Louis Gossett jr. would at least be half decent. Yeah, well that's not the reality. what is up with these actors. Bill Paxton seems like a decent actor and Louis Gossett jr. is certainly a good actor. So how'd they end up in this crappy movie? Especially Gossett. He seems to be willing to be in a lot of dumb flicks. Oh, jeez, I can see now that I'll have to review the Iron Eagle movies in the near future to back that up....

A Russian scientist, Dr. Pavlova tries to kill a little boy. She's apprehended by detectives Tucker (Paxton) and Flynn. (Lindsay Frost) Well I shouldn't say   that Pavlova tries to kill the kid...she does. Soon after she's arrested Villano, a creepy government guy and his goons come to the police station and take custody of her. Tucker and Flynn are upset about this, but their captain, "Mac" MacCandless (Gossett) tells them that there's nothing they can do. Villano has A-6 clearance. (whatever that means...we find that the President of the United States only has A-5 clearance...right. )

Despite what Villano and Mac say, Tucker and Flynn launch their own investigation. The boys body explodes into flames and an alien lifeform takes control of one of Villano's men. This alien has the ability to shoot fireballs from his head, much like Drew Barrymore in Firestarter. now, throughout this movie you're not going to discover much about the alien except that it can change bodies and shoot fireballs. Tucker and Flynn discover notes from one of Villano's scientist about the alien and show Mac. In order to keep the alien a secret, Villano sends some goons to kill them. They only succeed in killing Mac, since he's the only minority in the film. B-movies must have a law....minority characters always get killed, especially if they talk about retiring, their family or just happen to be in command. Well, Mac was the captain, he was acted by Gossett so ergo, he must die a bloody death so his friends can avenge him.

Tucker and Flynn search for the alien which has now switched to the body of a wino, and while pursuing it in the sewer, the alien takes over Tucker's body. Flynn goes to Villano's headquarters and forces her way in. She finds out that if she can get the alien out of Tucker within two hours, Tucker will live. The only problem is its been almost two hours since he was possessed. Flynn finds that under Villano's building there's a giant spaceship. That's where the alien is going.

Now, during the movie we hear about the alien needing to get to the core, and if he does it will mean the death of all mankind. When Flynn finds Tucker in the core she pleads for him to fight the alien. (C'mon, lets say it together---"You can do it! I know you're in there somewhere! you've got to fight it!---blah, blah, blah!" Man, how many times have we heard that?) During this exchange is when Villano makes his obligatory villain-speech-before-being -killed-by-his-nefarious-plan. The alien leaps from Tucker to Villano, but instead of taking over his body, it seems to be killing him. (If the alien wanted to kill Villano why didn't it just roast him with a fireball?) Flynn shoots the 'core' of the vessel setting off a multitude of explosions. The ship takes off, but seems to be about to self destruct. Tucker regains consciousness and he and Flynn make it to a hatch. Though the ship is in flight high over the city, they jump....and amazingly don't die, but land in the river, where the film pokes us with one last bit of comedy relief when Tucker announces "I can't swim!" .

Take two spoonfuls of Lethal Weapon, two spoonfuls of the X-Files and dump in a full quart of badness and you've got this film. not only do we NOT learn anything about the alien, we have to deal with the dreary bantering of Flynn and Tucker and the lackluster story. If you see this movie in the video store do not be fooled by its look...the box may make it look like a decent science fiction diversion, but its really a full fledged butt-storm of stupidity. Villano was played by John Hurt....applicable name since he hurt me in this movie. Hurt was the guy that had his stomach ripped open from the inside in the movie Alien. He'll rip open your brain in this movie and remove your will to watch the rest.

Best Lines: "Say 'hi' to Jesus!"-Tucker as he puts a gun to a bad guys head.

1.) Don't ya just love the way in movies how people can outrun cars? Dr. Pavlova chases the kid for a good deal of time at the start of the film. I have a hard time believing that a 9 or 10 year old kid is going to stay ahead of a speeding motor vehicle for any significant amount of time, unless he happens to be the Flash.

2.) Its just too cliche for me to fall for these government guys that have higher clearances than the president. Of course its a movie convention to allow us, the viewers to believe that the administration has no knowledge of, or is powerless to stop whatever nefarious scheme is going on. I'm just not buying it. C'mon, does it make sense that the government would commission an agency that not even the president has any power over, or knows what its doing?

3.) After Mac dies the obligatory minority-must-die death, Tucker beats the crap out of one of the assailants. The goon refuses to give up any information though. So Tucker threatens to kill him. The goon says "you won't shoot me". Tucker seems adamant and Flynn says she wants no part of murder and storms out. So tucker puts the guys head in an open elevator shaft and threatens to let the descending elevator cut his head off. The goon freaks out, begging for his life and saying he'll talk. Tucker pulls him back and Flynn exits the elevator saying "Good cop, bad cop." Okay, we get the idea...but now the goon has a better reason not to talk! Tucker has just proven that he isn't willing to kill him! His threats to do so are useless now! Flynn should have not come out of the elevator. To be honest, if I was Tucker I'd just have tortured the guy to death. Seriously. The threat of a slow painful death would have probably opened up his mouth. I'm not saying its right but in the context of the movie...

4.) Get the [unwrite] outta here! Tucker and Flynn jump out of the spaceship in midair...now from the scene we see the ship is pretty high up in the air, a few hundred feet, at least. but they and in the river with a mild splash and swim ! Bull[unwrite]! Hitting the water from that height would've been the same as hitting the ground. Hitting the water from that height from a moving object would kill ANYONE. Yeesh, and that was the end! What a stupid movie.

NUDITY AND SEX: None.

HUH? : At the beginning of the movie after Dr. Pavlova is arrested, we see her being fingerprinted. Well, that's what its supposed to be, but there's no ink on her fingers.

So, these guys in radiation suits, obviously not wanting to be observed, don't see Tucker and Flynn across the street watching them from a parked car as they move the boys dead body? They don't even notice that they're being followed, even though there are no other vehicles on the road. Right.

THE TALLY: I tried very hard to think of a redeemable feature this movie may have had. But I can't. Despite a decent cast, and what looks like a decent budget, its still a bowl of crap soup. Yeah, you can crack some jokes at it, but its not easy to watch. None of the characters are the least bit interesting. Villano's just evil for evil's sake. He may be supposed to be a megalomaniacal scientist, but all we really get to know is he wants the alien...for power, even though it seems kind of stupid. The alien is dangerous and pretty much uncontrollable. Paxton's character, Tucker is just a cookie-cutter tough, mean cop. there's some mumbo jumbo about him losing his family. We see a few flashbacks of him and his family and a man with a gun...but you don't find out what happened....you just know that something did. I guess we're supposed to assume his wife and kid were killed and that's why he's such a Dirty Harry-like character. Mac could have played by ANY minority character, so its a waste of Gossett's talents...and Flynn...who the [unwrite] cares? If you see this in the video store, rent it then burn it without watching to save future generations.