Starring: Eric Jungmann; Justin Urich,  Aimee Brooks, Joe Goodrich, Michael Bailey Smith   Written and Directed by: Michael Davis

The Story:

Well, when I opened this movie up I expected it to be really dumb. I expected it to be an ordeal to sit through and I really expected to be a little pissed off at it. But I have to admit it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Crap, I have to admit it. I actually liked this movie.

That's the magic of DTV releases.....you grab 'em up and you don't expect a whole lot, but once in awhile you find one that is not only tolerable, but pretty damned good. This flick isn't high art, but its entertaining and its never boring. That's saying a lot for a movie titled something as ludicrous as "Monster Man". Its a horror comedy, which normally I stay away from. The Inferno doesn't usually use comedies because they're either funny or not funny. If its not funny its too painful most times to sit through it. This flick did have a few amusing bits to it, but they weren't so in your face that it lost impact, and thus it did get a few chuckles out of me.

Adam and Harley are two college buddies on a road trip to the wedding of a mutual friend. Well, that's over simplifying it a bit. Adam and Harley were friends....they had a falling out over the mutual friend, a girl named Betty Ann. Adam, being a nerdy, geeky type has know Betty Ann for years and been in love with her, but he never had the balls to tell her. Apparently she used him a lot. He did her homework for her, etc, and according to Harley slept with practically everyone else but Adam. When Harley pointed out the fact that Betty Ann was a slut Adam called him a liar, so Harley punched him in the face. That pretty much ended their friendship. But Harley tagged along with Adam on the trip to the wedding trying to make amends to his former friend.

Things get weird though. A hearse speeds by the two fellas on the road, and ominously trails them for awhile. And when they stop for a break at a local yokel bar, Harley bad mouths the "rednecks" about their fascination with Monster Truck rallies. Harley is the polar opposite of the quiet, mousey, Adam, you see. He's the typical loudmouth beefy guy. Though he's crude, rude and lewd though, Harley actually comes across as intelligent. (He's an anthropology major). Its refreshing that he does seem to have some brains instead of being the usual Big Dumb Jerk you find in these movies. He's not an Einstein, but he's not a complete idiot either. He's a jackass, mind you, but heck, Droogies, I've known guys like him when I was in college. (Amusingly, the person he reminds me of was named "Guy". )

As our heroes resume their travels, a big freaking monster Truck runs them off of the road. The guys think maybe its some of the rednecks that Harley pissed off at the bar, but in truth its more sinister than that. Still, after getting their car back on the road, they practically forget about it. Along the way they pick up a beautiful hitchhiker, Sara, and then things get really weird. The trio end up in a small southern town where practically everyone is an amputee of some sort. The Monster Truck seems to be following them with the intent to do them in. And they're lost...the place they're in isn't even on the map. The only good thing to come of any of this is that Adam, a virgin still, even though he's in his mid 20's gets laid by Sara. The bad thing is they actually see who is driving the Monster truck. A huge deformed maniac, naturally. They even witness the nutcase running a man over repeatedly. Somehow though all evidence of this crime is missing when they inform the police. The police chief, thinking its a joke being pulled by a bunch of city slickers tells them to get out of town.

Things don't get better though....Monster Man comes after them again and takes Harley out. He then captures Sara and Adam follows intending to rescue her. Then he finds out the awful truth. Sara is in cahoots with the Monster Man....its all an elaborate set up to get Adam as the victim in a satanic ritual. I won't go into detail about it since I don't want to put spoilers out there for ya. But I will tell you that for once, all of the things that happened in the movie made sense within the flicks internal logic at least, as to why they happened.

A lot of time in the movie is spent watching Harley and Adam talk along the trip, and in another movie I'd call it padding. But in this movie the dialogue is actually pretty entertaining and it tells you a lot about the characters. Its not such a hit -you-over-the-head thing discovering that Adam is indeed, a nerd. Its through the conversations and observations that Harley makes that we find out that Adam is a bit anal-retentive and geeky. It also helps to see that Harley is an obnoxious asshole at times, but that he really wants to be friends with Adam again, and that he's not as dumb as he might come off. Its not a great character study, but in a horror flick, its a most welcome change.

The end of the movie leaves things open enough for a sequel. (Which, lets be honest, isn't hard to do in a horror movie) I actually hope they make one as long as its as decent as this one. The monster's name incidentally is "F*** Face", which might actually make it a bit difficult to be built into a franchise. (You can't very well make a sequel and advertise it to the mainstream claiming "F*** Face is BACK!".)  I guess only time will tell though....you used to never hear the word "bitch" on TV.

Best Lines: "Oh, man, I've been waiting my whole life to F*** up like this...." - Harley realizes that pissing off the Monster truck driver might not have been a good idea.

"You know you are just one bong hit away from having no brain cells." - Adam comments on Harley's way of thinking.

 Are you kidding me?

1.) Here's how to tell if you are truly a limp noodle dick nerd or not. If a friend of yours hides in your car and surprises you while you're driving while wearing a fright mask and wielding a knife and you don't kick his ass....well, you're a real cream puff. Adam should have been knocking Harley's teeth out after that stunt. It doesn't even matter if he loses the fight. He should have at least tried.

2.) Harley's a jerk, make no doubt about it....he's loud and crass and he seems to enjoy pissing people off. Damn, he looks like a lot of fun! Seriously, I'd hang out with him. He'd tick me off a lot, but at least he's funny, and he seems to be the type of guy that takers his friendships seriously. Actually now that I stop to think about it, Harley is a lot like my old buddy Scott....I should probably rethink this whole thing now. Scott had the terrible ability to open his big yap, piss people off and then I would get my ass kicked.

3.) I'm trying not to put too many spoilers in here....but one part of the movie that made me laugh is when Harley in Adam are in a hotel room sleeping and Adam here's a whispering voice saying "I'm gonna get you...I'm gonna get you....." this freaks him out, until he realizes that its just Harley in the next bed talking in his sleep about getting some girl.

4.) Harley's wearing clogs. Yep, you read that right....clogs. What self respecting man wears Clogs? (Didn't they go out off style about 50 years ago?)

5.) If you're having sex with a chick, guys, and she starts quoting lines from Star wars, you're either not doing it right or you have one seriously freaky chick on your hands.

6.) The Police chief is upset that there's no evidence that someone was killed by the monster truck. He thinks Adam and Harley are lying and comments that he got a message from "upstate" about two guys leaving some road kill in a hotel room. What the hell? Is that really something that police agencies warn each other about? Is there so little crime in this state (its never said which state) that the cops in one town are concerned with what would appear to be a lame joke in another municipality?

7.) I can take it that Adam has nosebleeds....a lot of people have that problem. but he bleeds a lot! When he bleeds through the nose at the end of the movie its a LOT of blood. Its like a friggin' fountain! How much blood can a person lose before they pass out? I think Adam came dangerously close if not over that limit! And speaking of which....his face is covered in blood when he escapes the House and Monster Man, but when we see him again (After he's been running the monster man all night) his face is clean. How'd he get all of that blood off of him? He was in the truck all night and I don't think monster man was the type to keep some of those "Handi-Wipes" in the glove box.

Nudity and Sex: Adam and Sara have sex, but no nudity is shown.

Huh?:

Harley and Adam are forgiving dudes. Sara hides in their car claiming she just wanted a place to crash, yet they don't kick her ass out. Screw that. I don't care how good looking a chick is, if I find her sleeping in my car its Royal ass Whooping time. Forget chivalry. ladies....I'm into equal opportunity....a woman can be a homicidal maniac just as well as a man can, and a woman that hides out in my car goes to the top of the list of chicks I don't want to be alone with.

Adam wants to go to  Betty Ann's wedding just so he can tell her how he has always felt about her. He says he doesn't expect her to not marry the guy she's engaged to, but he just wants to tell her. What a dumbass dork. Dude, its too late for that. The only thing you can accomplish with that bonehead maneuver is to make yourself look like a total wuss. Especially if you have to drive halfway across the country to do it! That would be one long ride back after the wedding wouldn't it? All that time to think about some other guy on his honeymoon with your dream girl.....Funk Dat.

I've been on road trips where it took several days to get to where I was going. Not once did I have the adventures that people in the movies do. That's why I like to fly....nothing interesting ever happens to me on the road trips so why bother with all of the time wasted driving? (And if movies are any indication the interesting stuff that does happen on road trips are meeting crazed, misanthropic killers, towns full of cannibal mutants and monsters.)

The Final Judgment: Monster Man is allowed to go from the Inferno scot-free. The devilish imps grant it a full pardon of five devil heads. It has a low budget look, but its entertaining and even funny at times. Its kinda like a mix between Wrong turn and Jeepers Creepers....yet another movie that makes me never want to get lost in the country.