MOSQUITO
THE STORY: An alien ship crashes in the wilderness, and that's the only explanation anyone needs to have mosquitoes suddenly grow into giant monster bugs. The monstrous mosquitoes begin by killing several dozen campers. Dr. Parks, an Air Force Investigator meets up with Meg, a newly hired park ranger and her boyfriend Ray to find out what's going on. They discover the dead bodies of campers a surviving Park Ranger, Hendricks. While trying to get away from the mosquitoes they meet two criminals and hole up in an abandoned house. While searching the house the group discover that the giant mosquitoes main breeding ground in in the basement. They blow the house up in order to destroy the mosquitoes.
To be honest, the most shocking part of this movie is that Dr. Parks, who was black, doesn't get killed. I say that because minorities almost always get killed in any cheesey horror movie. Its one of the rules. (and I'm black so please don't write me calling me a racist or something) This flick was pretty cheesey. To be fair, I thought the mosquitoes were pretty well done for a bad sci-fi movie, but the movie is so ridiculous at times it doesn't really matter.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:
1.) Meg and Ray first encounter the giant mosquitoes when one flies into their car. Meg is kind of amazed but Ray insists its just some kind of weird animal...Excuse me, its a [unwrite]ing four foot long mosquito! Neither one of them reacts the way any sane person would when they see a mosquito the size of a Labrador!
2.) Before the giant mosquitoes are discovered Ranger Hendricks run through the campground with a gas powered insecticide blower. Wow! I didn't know mosquitoes in America's national campgrounds were that much of a threat!
3.) Yeah, the Air Force sends one guy to investigate a meteor impact (Dr. Parks)...and he's only equipped with a fake looking Geiger counter!
4.) After discovering the dead campers and the giant mosquitoes Dr. Parks says "These did all of this!?" What kind of moron has to ask a question like that when you see dead bodies drained of blood and 200 pound mosquitoes?
5.) Our heroes decide to run for it in the sewers and the woods instead of blocking up the camper windows and waiting for help. They at one point suggest smoke but help keep the mosquitoes away but still don't really attempt it.
NUDITY AND SEX: Not a lot. As a matter of fact I don't recall seeing any but I might have blinked.
HUH?: So, no one else at all decides to investigate a meteor impact, the dozens of people that must be missing by now or look for Dr. Parks after 24 hours?
Good grief, the basement of this house must be as big as football field!
The director must have decided it was too cliche to have the only minority character die, because how Parks survived is beyond me. He was in the house hiding behind a refrigerator when it blew up and he wasn't even injured! Holy Frijoles! No wonder the Maytag repairman is bored! Those things are indestructible!
THE TALLY: Well, it wasn't exactly super bad, but it was pretty bad...and moderately painful. The acting certainly didn't help and the really stupid characters didn't either. This movie can be dangerous to watch on your own. Bring a friend a few beers because it may have a few entertaining moments, but it will hurt.