NEON MANIACS

THE STORY: This movie made no sense, but it wasn't afraid to be itself. Actually if it was a little more gory (and the the girls were more sexy) it may have gotten a better Skull Score than it did.

The story begins with a lone fisherman by the Golden Gate bridge. There's some narration about the Neon Maniacs 'darkening the children's path" and trust me thats all you'll ever know about their origin. As the fisherman leaves for the night he finds a cow's skull with photos in it. The photos are of, well monstrous looking crazy people that look like a cross between the bad guys in The Road Warrior and the bad guys in Hellraiser.Suddenly a few of the guys in the photos show up and turn the fisherman into worm bait.

Nearby, teen beauty Natalie Lawrence and her friends are having a little party in the park. The Neon Maniacs creep up on them and murder everyone except for Natalie.The police don't believe her story about monsters killing her friends. They can't find any bodies so they believe its a prank to scare the parents. The only clue the police find is some green goo around the area. Everyone thinks Natalie is making up her story and she becomes the object of scorn. The principal suspends her because her presence in school is a disruption. The only people that believe her story are Paula, a younger student and Billy, a guy with a crush. Paula is into monsters and scary stories and keeps pestering Natalie about what happened. Paula finds out about the mysterious green goo and goes to the park. Following a trail of goo she finds the lair of the Neon Maniacs under the bridge. When she sees one of them fall into a puddle and start to dissolve she figures out that water is their only weakness. Unfortunately, the Neon Maniacs are now after her too. (I guess anyone who sees them must die.) The maniacs break into Paula's house but she destroys them with a squirt gun and a shower. The maniacs attack Billy and Natalie in the subway in a scene that is kind of funny in its silliness.

Natalie, Billy and Paula realize the Neon Maniacs are after them and decide to remain safe at night (when the maniacs come out) they should go to the school dance! Billy is playing in a band there and gets the other students to carry squirt guns. The Neon Maniacs show up at the dance and begin slaughtering people. The students run in a panic, too scared to use the squirt guns so Paula turns on the fire house and begins spraying them. The police take her and Billy and Natalie into custody but still don't totally believe them. However Inspector Devon gets a dozen police cars and fire trucks to go the Golden Gate bridge lair of the maniacs. They don't find anything. Devon orders them to leave but takes one last look around a truck that was there. He opens the doors and the maniacs inside kill him.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES- When the Neon Maniacs attack the teens the first time, two of them walk right up to two of Natalie's friends. The 'jock' character gets mad when one of the maniacs shoots his football with a crossbow and attacks them. Even if he thought they were just wearing masks, how stupid do you have to be to try and get tough with two big leather clad wierdoes that are armed?

2.) SAN FRANSISCO IS UNDERPOPULATED- This is San Francisco...a pretty big city, right? Well, when Natalie is in the police station we see five cops total! I don't mean milling around either...they're all in Devon's office talking about her story. Natalie is waiting in a hallway, alone! I guess they were giving her a chance to escape in case she did kill all of those people! During the subway scene there is no one on any of the platforms, or on the bus that our heroes escape in. San Francisco is wasting money on mass transit since apparently no one uses it. They should hire more cops instead.

3.) While discussing the case right after they bring Natalie in the cops are afraid to let her story be public because no one will believe that monsters killed her friends. So, San Francisco has no news crews or anything...you'd think the murders of six people in one night would be news!

4.) Paula finds out about the green goo from Gary, who is the son of a cop. Do the cops report to this kid? Why in the world would a cop divulge information about a case to his teenage son?

5.) When the Neon Maniacs attack Paula at home in her bedroom her parents sleep blissfully through the whole thing. They don't hear their daughter fighting a maniac directly upstairs? Right.

6.) Paula showers the maniac to death because he conveniently falls ten feet backwards into a tub. Right.

7.) Paula wears a big ass cap in the movie that says "USS Nostromo". A tribute to the movie Alien.

NUDITY AND SEX: A quick boob flash from one of the first teen victims.

HUH?: The night that all this happens Natalie is home alone, and decides to take a swim in her pool. She was bawling her eyes out earlier...her friends were butchered right in front of her. A few hours later and she's taking a midnight dip. Thats one cold bitch.

For a pretty girl with obviously rich parents Natalie has NO friends. No one comes over or anything after the Maniacs kill her friends. Geez, its a wonder she isn't crazy.

Who what and why are the Neon Maniacs? There is absolutely no answer to that question!

THE TALLY: There are many more plotholes to this movie. It was never revealed why the maniacs come, why only at night and why water kills them. It wasn''t the goofiest movie I've ever seen, but it was entertaining. The Neon Maniacs come in all kinds of costumes, Cavemen, indians, soldiers....its so silly it made me laugh. A little more wierdness or T&A would've gotten it another devil head.