Starring: Todd Jensen, David Dukas, Trae Thomas

Directed by: Yossi Wein

The Story: I'm developing a love/hate relationship with the Operation Delta Force movies. They're not great movies, to be sure, but they've been mildly entertaining. Then again in some instances they've been painful. If you've never served in the military you might not get as annoyed as I do with these kinds of flicks. But that's still no excuse for crappy movies. What I really find distasteful about this movie is the DVD case. From what I can gather this movie was made in 1999, but I picked it up a month or so ago, around October 2002. This is what the box says:

Terrorist Osama Bin Laden is brainwashing prisoners, turning them into human bombs, then sending them out on Suicide missions for the highest bidder. It will take an elite fighting team, the Delta Force, to bring the madman down and free the remaining hostages. But time is running out for Delta force, laden has new prisoners to brainwash....members of their own team!

That's sickening. The producers felt obligated to cash in on the tragedy of 9/11 by using Bin Laden as the villain. Bin Laden of course, is not portrayed in this movie. But still, it makes my head spin that anyone would think to use his name as a movie villain as if to make light of the deaths he's caused in the US and abroad. For that crime alone, this movie gets a swift kick in the balls.

None of the Operation Delta Force Movies seem to feature the same team....this team is commanded by Captain Brad Kennedy, and when we first meet them they're in a firefight in Kitale, Kenya. They were supposed to meet up with the new ambassador from the US to Kenya aboard a train, but ended up in the wrong place. The ambassador is worried that he'll be killed. He should be since the last ambassador was killed a week ago, buy terrorists led by Jafari. Jafari is the villain of this movie, not Bin Laden. I wonder if I can get my cash back for this movie. They did purposely mislabel it.

Anyway the ambassador is killed in the most unlikely of ways....his train is blown up by a sea plane crashing into it. I don't want to go through the dumb-ass details of this, but suffice it to say, Jafari has a new weapon. Brainwashed victims turned into human suicide bombers! Meanwhile Kennedy and his squad are outnumbered by Jafari and Kenyan rebels but they've found an escape route. Kennedy volunteers to stay behind and provide cover fire while his men escape, but his sergeant, Bob Johnson, pushes him into the tunnel leading out taking his place. Johnson and two other men are captured while the others make their escape. Its of note that one of the team members says "We're the delta force. We rescue, we don't get rescued!". I agree. I thought Delta Force was a rescue operation, not a babysitting squad for an ambassador. Don't the Secret Service and the Marines cover that?

Back in the US Kennedy is beaten about the head and neck by General Thompson, his commander. Thompson is pissed that he left men behind, but Thompson is so wildly out of uniform I couldn't take him seriously for a minute. Add to that, its so obvious that the General is a dickhead, that I instantly knew he had a hand in the Delta Force's troubles. My suspicions were confirmed when we meet Sergeant Karen Sommers. Sommers works for the general and gives Kennedy top secret information. (She's his ex-girlfriend, too) Through Sommers, Kennedy learns that Thompson purposely had the Delta Force led to the wrong meeting spot....Thompson wants to get Jafari and he used them as bait. Kennedy is naturally pissed off. I would be too. Thompson could have just told Kennedy his plan so they could lay an ambush for Jafari together. But oops, that makes sense, sorry.

Sommers also shows Kennedy surveillance footage from a suicide bomber in Boston. It's one of Kennedy's men that was thought to be dead! Kennedy then figures that Sergeant Johnson and Skip the other guy, must still be alive and in Jafari's control. The Delta force reassembles to go take Jafari down.

My mind is drawing a blank and I just watched this movie. Seriously. It is a stupid movie, only magnified by the fact that the writers have absolutely no respect for the audience. If they did they'd spare us the superfluous banter between Kennedy and Sommers about how he doesn't want her to come on the mission because she's his woman and its dangerous...she doesn't go anyway the way the story unfolds so why have that scene in the first place? And the movie chickens out in the terrorist thing too. We all know that the real Bin Laden has...or I should say had (he's dead, Jim...or we can only hope) a political and religious agenda. Jafari is just evil for evil's sake. If the producers had the balls to use Bin Laden's name as a selling tool, they should have at least made Jafari in his mold. Oh, I forgot, the flick was made in 1999! Bastards. I can't tell you how much it annoys me that these needle dick mother f***er's used Bin Laden to hype this movie.

If you want to see a good military action flick...even a low budget one....get something else. This movie is a big waste of time. The Inferno found nothing to redeem it whatsoever. I used to look forward to the next Operation Delta force installment. At least now I know better.

Best Lines: "MEDIC!" - This is shouted at least five times in the first 15 or so minutes.

"Goodbyes are for women, Phil, just go!"- The Captain doesn't want to get all choked up when he orders his men to leave him behind.

"People are going to get killed...and when they die, they don't come back when you put three more quarters in the machine."-Kennedy explains the reality of war to Sommers.

Are you kidding me?

1.) I'm not going to profess any knowledge of how international affairs are run, but if the last ambassador to Kenya was killed by terrorists a week ago, why is the new ambassador on his way there? According to dialogue there's a very high level of danger for the ambassador. Not to make fun of Kenya, but I think the US could survive a few more weeks without an ambassador there.

2.)12 minutes into this and I'm not feeling too hopeful....you know what bugs me almost as much as much as bad uniform mistakes in military action movies? Bad military dialogue. Within the last 12 minutes I've heard a member of Delta Force shout "Medic!" when someone is hit....and in the situation I'm watching there apparently aren't any medics around. Methinks the scriptwriter thought it sounded real army to have the characters shout "Medic!" during firefight. Ay yi yi.

3.) I can see now, at about 25 minutes in this flick, that its gonna be murder on the uniform issue.....so let me just sharpen my pitchfork.

A.) General Thompson has five...yes, I said FIVE stars on his collar. Hey, Mr. Filmmaker...five star generals are a rarity....geez, I think the last one was Eisenhower. Colin Powell was offered a fifth star during the Gulf War and turned it down. (A fifth star comes with the title "General of the Army") And these stars are in a weird pattern, too. You didn't even try to get that right did ya? I won't even go into the fact that Thompson is wearing his hat indoors for no good reason. But I will comment on the fact that Thompson is talking to Private Moore (A buck private? In Delta Force? Yeah, right.) and Moore starts walking around when he was standing at parade rest. (Shouldn't he be standing at attention while addressing a General Officer? He might have forgotten considering Thompson's uniform)

B.) Captain Kennedy has rank insignia on both collars, which is a no-no in the army for officers. He also has a [unwrite]in' goatee, which is really pissing me off. Look, future filmmakers, I'm gonna make it plain for ya....men in the army, (or any branch) cannot have beards at all. Even a moustache has to trimmed, neat and cannot go past the corner of the lip. (unless they have a valid medical reason for not being able to shave)

C.) Sergeant Sommers has oversized strips on her collar and they're upside down. Honestly it looks so stupid it sent me into a rage. As a Non-Commissioned Officer myself, I wanted to bitch-slap this movie for it. When she visits Kennedy at his apartment her uniform mistakes are even worse! She's missing her BDU top, and she has a gold belt on with a brass buckle. FYI Mr.Wein: A black belt is worn with BDU's, and a black subdued buckle with it.

4.) Are there any MP's from any branch of service reading this? If so, do me a favor....go to the video store and arrest every copy of this film. Dig this....Kennedy...in civilian clothes goes to confront General Thompson. Two MP's stand in front of the door. One moves in Kennedy's way, but Kennedy shouts "Open this door, soldier! I said Open it, now!". The MP then kindly replies "Yes Sir!" and opens it! What the f***? This guy doesn't know who Kennedy is, and as I said, Kennedy isn't in uniform. With security like that they might as well get rid of the door altogether.

5.) Kennedy tells Sergeant Sommers she could have said "no" when General Thompson assigned her to the Delta Force mission. No she couldn't! What kind of freakin' army do they have in this movie anyway? You can't pick and choose what orders you want to obey as a soldier.

6.) General Thompson tells the Delta Force that despite the President's orders to capture the terrorist leader, he wants them to kill him. I'm sure there are a lot of generals that disagree with the orders of the President from time to time, but such a flagrant disregard would surely put Thompson in a lot of hot water.

7.) The very last part of the movie has Kennedy dropping the engagement ring into Sommers drink. she apparently thinks he was killed in the missile strike. but...but...since she was aboard the Minnesota, where the Delta Force would have been evacuated to...wouldn't she know that he was alive in the first place? Stupid ass movie.

Nudity and Sex: None.

Huh?:

Why is a news reporter flying around in a seaplane by the ambassador's train? (Because IITS) If you stop to think about it, its pretty stupid. The person that wrote this didn't stop to think about it, though.

General Thompson asks Captain Kennedy why didn't he have his men draw straws to see who gets left behind at Kitale. That's the kind of question that would earn me a court martial. I'd have to kick Thompson's ass on the spot. They're in the middle of a firefight. No one has time to even look for some stinking straws, let alone pull a lottery! Besides, this is the Army! If you've got six privates and you need one to mop to floor, you don't have 'em draw straws to see who does it! You tell one of 'em to do it, case closed!

Why does General Thompson have an office on a naval base? Well, thats not really out of line....The fact that his office seems to be on some kind of ship is though.

Hmmmm....Captain Kennedy and Sergeant Sommers have a love thang going on. She's his ex-girlfriend, and all that....also against the rules. Officers and enlisted personnel don't fraternize. I'm not gonna say it doesn't happen, but this flick doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

The Final Judgment: With pitchforks in hand we march this movie to the Infernal judgment it so richly deserves.

Operation delta Force V is now condemned to the Infernal wastes of sand and heat, where it will bake at a steady 1000 degrees for all time. Its crime is being a crappy movie, overall, compounded by using the terrorist attack on 9/11 as a selling point. (and having nothing to do with it, movie wise) Cook, foul movie, cook, and do not darken the world of men again!