The Pack

THE STORY: I killed a lot of brain cells in college or I might have remembered more about this movie from when I saw it as a kid. Back then I thought it was kind of scary. There were quite a few stray dogs around when I grew up, and there were even some dogs that had irresponsible owners...like Keya. Keya was this massive great dane owned by a pretty scummy family in my neighborhood. When he/she/it got loose we had to clear the streets. Keya even cornered me once, forcing me to climb on top of a truck to avoid being mauled. I was never really afraid of dogs in general, but when I was seven a dog pretty much bit the crap out of me...so any dog that even looked mean would cause me to take flight.

Seal Island is a kind of vacation fishing spot. There's a marine biology guy, Jerry, that works there and small congregation of people that live there and some who are on vacation. Jerry's girlfriend and her son, Paul, are moving to the island to be near Jerry. Jerry also has a son, Guy. Unfortunately people who come to spend the summer have a habit of getting dogs, then abandoning them  on the island when they have to return to civilization. So there's a population of hungry maddened dogs roaming the island. The dogs form a pack and go around mauling and presumably eating people. Jerry, who also functions as the game warden finds that the crazed dogs are going on a killing spree and tries to save everyone...everyone in the cast that is. As you can guess some of the cast members don't survive. The dogs eventually trap Jerry and his friends in Jerry's house. The radio is out so they can't call for help. (of course) Cobb, one of Jerry's friends tries to make it to a nearby island for help in a rowboat, but has a heart attack on the way. With no ammo left, Jerry gets the others to get in a truck and drive away while he and his friend Clyde set a trap. Jerry lures the dogs into the house and climbs into the attack. Clyde seals the house trapping the dogs and sets it on fire. Jerry then jumps out of the window and they let the dogs burn to death. Just to show that Jerry isn't a sadistic dog-killer, the last stray dog is caught on a branch. (by a rope around his neck.) Jerry feeds the frightened animal and soft music starts to play, to show that the grateful dog is now a friend.

The only problem I had with this movie is that no one thought of, well, maybe making people REGISTER their animals when they get a pet on the island. That way you could make people maybe, say, be RESPONSIBLE for the dog and not abandon it? Well, this is supposed to be a 'scary, thriller' type of movie, but it would be great poetic justice if the dogs got to rip apart the cold hearted bastards that abandoned them. Anyone who would do that is a real dick. Jerry was played by none other than Joe Don Baker. Marge was played by Bibi Besch, the actress that was Dr. Carol Marcus in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan.

Best Lines: "He didn't even try to grab a tit!"- Lois, a blonde bimbo, about Tommy a fat dude. Lois thinks Tommy's a nice guy.

"If he's got any sense he'd climb a tree...if he can get his fat ass off of the ground!"- Cantankerous old Cobb speaks about what Tommy, who is missing, should do if the dogs go after him.

1.) It was never a question that Tommy was going to end up as dog food. Even though a fair amount of the characters survive, you just Tommy isn't going to be one of them. He's fat, kinda dopey and doesn't make a move on Lois who is smitten with him for some reason. He's also a chicken. When the dogs start chasing him and Lois he pretty much abandons her. The really funny part is the dogs corner Tommy because he runs up to the edge of a cliff. When the dogs trap him he jumps to his death. Y'know, if I was Tommy, I wouldn't have run there...he's supposed to be kind of smart...so why didn't he climb a tree? He also could have tried climbing down the rocks on the side of the cliff...yeah, he still might have fallen, but its a better idea than jumping....oh, and Lois, hides in a barn that the dogs have been hiding in. So she gets munched when they come back. I guess stuff like dog poop all over didn't set off any bells for her.

2.) So, there's no backup radio or anything? Wow! These guys are unprepared for an emergency! The ferry only comes once a week and once Jerry's radio is down, they can't call for help. You mean people live on this island and no one has a boat except for Cobb? And Cobb has only a rowboat!

3.) The dogs corner Walker on a pier. Eventually he falls into the water. Now, Jerry shows up and rescues him and that's when we learn that Walker can't swim. I guess that's supposed to explain why he didn't just jump into the water when the pack of dogs trapped him. But still, he could have just climbed down the side of the pier and held on. I would have! Anyone with a brain cell would have!

4.) When Jerry rescues Walker, he drives his truck down the pier. Now, the pier is just wide enough for the truck...we see the dogs running toward the truck and we even see from a point of view under the truck that the wheels are bearing down on the dogs. But the next thing you know the dogs are running away from behind the truck. There's no [unwrite]ing way that Jerry didn't run over at least half of them. Did they squeeze under the truck? Well, one dog apparently got hit, but from the scene ALL of them should have been run down. I guess Every dog does have its day!

5.) When Jerry enacts his master plan, the dogs chase him into the house. Clyde locks the doors and then goes to pour some gas into a bucket. Why didn't they get the gas first and save time? These dogs are pretty [unwrite]ing smart. They've jumped in and out of windows! So why not make success more likely by getting the fuel ahead of time? Yeah, the plan worked (because it was in the script) but still, its kind of stupid to have not had the gasoline ready!

NUDITY AND SEX: None

HUH?: There are at least 15 to 20 dogs in the pack. As the game warden didn't Jerry foresee this kind of problem before all of these dogs got together? Did the dogs wait until they had a full 20 or so to go on their reign of terror?

The dogs maul Mr. Dodge and he dies the next day. his body is in a bedroom in Jerry's house and the dogs try to get in through that window, presumably to eat the cadaver. Why didn't they just shut the door to that room to keep the dogs out of the house?

These brings up a question...I know dogs eat a fair amount...but they go around attacking everything that moves. How much do they have to friggin' eat? Wouldn't a pack of dogs attack livestock first instead of people?

THE TALLY: No dogs were injured during the making of this film. It wasn't too bad, actually. A bit contrived, but not a bad movie.