Polymorph

THE STORY: Synchronicity. Or something. I was just reading an email about the movie "Forever Evil" when I decided to watch this flick. It seems they have something in common. They're both low budget b-movies. I can't be too sure, but I think Polymorph is the efforts of a small group of people trying to make a movie on a low budget, much like Forever Evil was.

In a nutshell, a group of young interns at some bigass scientific company are sent into the forest to investigate a meteor crash site. In the forest there's a cabin that happens to be the hideout of a group of drug dealers. One of the dealers becomes infected with an alien lifeform and goes on a rampage. Case closed.

You can guess what happens next. People get killed, yada  yada yada. honestly, the plot is so cookie-cutter I don't want to go any further.

This is definitely a bad movie. Its cheaply done, the acting isn't all that good and the special effects are bargain basement. But still, it was kind of interesting to watch. One cool thing is little comic-book-like blocks of dialogue pop onto the screen every so often saying things like "Meanwhile, back at the cabin...". In another movie it might look stupid, but it was pretty cool in this one.

Best Lines: "...and to top off my day I got some kinda slimy [unwrite] that looks like something outta a Roger Corman movie inside of my leg!"- Tarper, the drug dealer that becomes infected first.

1.) Why do people in these kinds of movies find a meteor, some weird object or strange goo and [unwrite] WITH IT!? Dr. Clark continues to poke the meteor goo with a stick even after it starts glowing! This guy has a Ph.D.? Farm animals have more sense than that!

2.) Okay, these dudes are brain donors. If three drug dealers cornered me, roughed me a little and threatened to kill me and then I somehow got a weapon and disarmed them, they'd be dead meat. I'd have killed them on the spot. After Billy locks the bad guys in the cabin, Carlos tells him he'll find him and kill him slowly when they get out. Ha...right. Not in my universe. If I had let Carlos live that long I'd have definitely smoked him when he started making more death threats. Hell, I'd pull a page outta Vlad the Impaler's book...I'd lock 'em in the cabin and burn it down. I'd watch too. if one of 'em actually got out I'd put more bullets in their ass than they had fingers.

3.) Franco must be an android. Or a Vulcan. he falls off a little ledge and announce instantly that he's broken his ankle. Without showing any pain!

NUDITY AND SEX: None

HUH?: What exactly is this evil aliens intentions? Did it come to earth to just kill a few people? because if that's the agenda this movie will make sense. The alien could have just left the forest and made it to civilization on foot while the other characters were looking for it in the forest. How hard could it have been to escape them?

THE TALLY: If you have a choice of low budget movies between this and Forever Evil....rent Forever Evil. This movie isn't worth the rental unless you're really into cheap b-movies or you can get it for less than 25 cents.