THE STORY: This movie reminds me of a little moment in my life...During Desert Storm I happened to meet a guy named Rambo....really. No, it wasn't Sly Stallone, it was a big black guy. We were eating in the chow tent when I noticed his nametag. "Rambo". Yep...spelled just like our movie hero's name. I chuckled and told him "You must have caught hell in basic training, Private Rambo!" He just snickered and said "I damn sure did!"

You see my droogies, if you have a name that can be made fun of in any way, a drill sergeant will find it. I think the drills have a comedy course in their training. But the point is the name Rambo is emblazoned into the movie watchers psyche. Its become a term for describing someone who is "a real badass". I've heard people referred to as "a real Rambo!" or "that guy kicked ass like Rambo!" etc.

Well in this movie Rambo is living in a Buddhist monastery. He wants no more wars or fighting. But Colonel Trautman finds him and asks him to join him on a mission in Afghanistan. (this movie took place when there was still a Soviet Union) Rambo declines, but when Trautman is captured by the soviet commander , Kourov, he decides to go to Afghanistan to free his friend and mentor.

There are a lot of names I didn't get. Well, practically everyone's name except the main characters. I'm just not good with the middle east. ( I AIN'T never goin' back there...no siree bob...) That's not a big deal as its easy to explain what happens. Rambo and his afghan buddy break into the soviet camp. They are followed by a kid, but I can't remember his name. The rescue attempt fails, but Rambo still gets to kill a whole lotta guys. Even though they escape without Trautman, Rambo is determined to go right back and free him.

Free of his buddies that probably slowed Rambo down, he goes back. Now he goes back to the soviet base shirtless. A shirtless Rambo is invincible, didn't you know? Once his broad chest and his oiled ropy muscled arms are bared no one can stand against Rambo!

Rambo rescues Trautman and they make their way back to freedom. They are attacked in a cavern, but, hey, Rambo kills almost every guy that comes after them. Trautman kills one. However the soviets have made a blockade to stop Trautman and Rambo at the border of Pakistan. It looks grim for our heroes, but the afghan rebels show up. Once the battle commences, Rambo goes into full "kill-everyone" mode, and well, kills a bunch of dudes! Once the enemy are shot to pieces, Rambo and Trautman leave their friends. The last thing we see before the credits is a dedication to the gallant people of Afghanistan.

I'm guessing that this is in Ronald Reagan's private video collection. But I'm not here to discuss politics, I'm here to judge Rambo III. Its hard to judge this, because on a basic level, I really enjoyed watching it. You don't rent any Rambo movie and expect some deep character development or social commentary. You get what a Rambo movie is about. Beating the [unwrite] out of dudes and killing guys! Well, you will get that in this movie although it is slow in the first half hour...GET TO THE WAR PARTS, I don't care about the other parts! Rambo is of course Sylvester Stallone. Ol' Sly really worked out for this movie. He's cut and I mean cut. I'm talking Conan type muscle build! (and to think he got fat on purpose for the movie "Cop Land") Richard Crenna returns as Colonel Trautman.

Best Lines: I didn't get any.

1.) The pistol the soviet commander holds to Trautman's head is unloaded. If you look closely the bolt or rack, is slid back, indicating that the chamber is empty. No wonder Trautman didn't talk.

2.) Continuity! in a Rambo movie! Rambo still wears the pendant given to him by the Vietnamese chick in the last movie! when she wore it she told Rambo it was for luck. When asked what the pendant means to him Rambo says "For luck."! I have to admit I am just a teeny bit impressed by this bit of continuity!

3.) Why is Rambo yelling "Take cover!" during the soviet attack on the village? The attack has been going on for about 2 minutes! I think all of the people running and hiding have grasped the idea of "take cover!" Hey, I know that its not a stupid thing to say, but while watching this I wanted one of the rebels to yell back "Whaddya think we're doing ya stupid mother [unwrite]er?!"

4.) Amazing! Not only does Rambo get wounded in this movie (causing the much spoofed scene* where he cauterizes his wound with a burning knife and gunpowder) he also misses the traitor guy with his always-successful-knife-throw! How can this be? Rambo is indestructible and the perfect killing machine!

NUDITY AND SEX: None

HUH?: Holy Mackerel! Rambo is indestructible! He gets hit again in the leg, but that doesn't slow him down! Now, I've never been shot, (I've been shot at, but that doesn't count...I was behind the Big Red One and the 101st airborne so technically no bullets ever came near me...I guess I'm just talking [unwrite]....) but Rambo shrugs it off as if he was hit by a bb gun! I mean, he just got shot in the leg! By a machine gun! To make it more incredible he takes a soviet tank and literally drives it into a helicopter! ( The copter was flying low, so I guess the pilot wasn't real smart...seeing how he's against Rambo) There's a big explosion and Rambo still lives!? What the [unwrite]? This man cannot be killed ladies and gentleman...this action would have killed Duncan McCleod**, but not Rambo!

THE TALLY: The thing to liking this movie is liking movies where one single man can make a difference by killing a bunch of other men! Its not romantic, its not a morality play....its a vehicle for Rambo to kill a few hundred suckers. Despite myself, I enjoyed watching this. I found myself wanting Rambo to open a big can of Whup-ass on the bad guys. As I said at the end of my Rambo II  review, its testosterone. If you like Rambo movies or you just want to watcha lot of soldiers get smoked this is a good movie to rent. Rambo has suffered enough...he doesn't need to be cast into the Inferno. Strangely enough there was a short lived cartoon series called "Rambo and the Freedom Force". I just find that a little amusing...Rambo in the movies is a killer. He's a soldier, but Rambo kills a lot of guys, with no mercy. Making a cartoon out of him is kind of weird thing. I don't like the idea of kids growing up thinking of Rambo as someone to emulate. (adults, well, yeah...hey, I'm an army guy....kicking ass is what we do!)

*Keenan Ivory Wayans spoofed this particular scene in the movie "I'm gonna get you sucka". That's the only spoof I remember really, but I know someone else somewhere must have spoofed it also. Robert Townsend made a Rambo spoof in his movie "Hollywood shuffle", in a an skit called "Rambro".

**Duncan McCleod was the hero in "Highlander: The series." He is immortal and thus impossible to kill. At least by mortals.