THE STORY: I had a choice to either go to the German Fruhlingfest today and get drunk in the beer tent or watch this movie. I should have gone and got drunk because this movie gives new emphasis on the phrase "I need a drink."

I would rather stick my head in a grocery bag full of dog[unwrite] than watch this thing again. I would rather eat live cockroaches than watch this again. I would rather get in a ring with Evander Holyfield than watch this again. I would rather...oh, you get the idea. I need a drink.

I don't know how much continuity there is between this movie and the first one. I do know its far, far worse than the third one. I don't even give a rats ass about who the killer is or why he dresses like he's a mix between the Fonz and Freddy Krueger. I don't care. This movie has sucked the life out of me. Its terrible!!!

How can you [unwrite] up a movie with such a simple premise? Some kids have a slumber party, a killer comes in and the games begin. Throw in some breasts, some gore and viola. A passable b-movie cheese fest. Well, this movie completely fails because its so hard to watch its anti-fun. This movie is to fun what kryptonite is to Superman.

So, in closing this movie is about as good as getting hit in the face with a cinderblock. Crystal Bernard stars in it, and may god have mercy on her soul. Dammit....I need a drink.

Best Lines: "Man, these are killer corn dogs."- The girls during their slumber party feast. This is just an example of the uber-[unwrite]ty dialogue in this turd.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Wanna know what I was doing fifteen minutes into this movie? Screaming at my TV "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET ON WITH IT!" It takes a certain blend of herbs and spices to make me hate absolutely every character in a movie before the flick even halfway starts.

2.) Twenty minutes into this...I'm chanting "Kill them...kill them all...kill them...." I don't even care who kills them, but this torture must end.

3.) It wouldn't be totally accurate to call T.J. the movies official Big Dumb Jerk, but he's definitely a jerk. How such an asshole has any friends...and a girlfriend willing to have sex with him is beyond belief. I could believe in leprechauns and fairies before I'd believe a scummy little butt-wipe like him could get laid without paying for it.

4.) By the hoary hosts of Hell, if Courtney has another dream sequence I'm going to go stark raving mad.

NUDITY AND SEX:  Only one girl is seen topless and its not that impressive. But no amount of nudity can help this flick.

HUH?:  What the hell is the guitar-drill about?

Everything else.

THE TALLY: If you see this movie in the video store RUN. It will kill brain cells if you watch it. It will turn milk in your refrigerator sour. It will cause your car battery to die. It will make your hair gray. it will....oh, forget it. I need a drink. Make it a double.

By the power vested in me by the Inferno I condemn this disease ridden movie to burn forever in the pit surrounded by grossly fat sweaty chicks in skimpy lingerie. Now I'm going to get a drink.