THE STORY: The problem with some sequels is that they just totally change things....they change them so much that you don't know what's going on in the movie even though you've seen the entire series. The other problem is some sequels don't tell you enough of what's what, so if you haven't seen the previous films you still have no idea what's going on. Friday the 13th could get away with this...Jason became such a prominent figure in slasher movies that people who have never seen a Friday the 13th movie knew who he was. Even the Nightmare on Elm Street series had this going for them. Most people knew who Freddy Krueger was and what he did even if they were unfamiliar with the movies. Unfortunately, the Slumber Party Massacre Series doesn't have that going for it. I have little to no idea about who these people are and less reason to care.

There's Jackie, the usual high school movie chick. She's pretty, and has lots of friends. She's dating frank, who really has no role except to eventually be killed. Jackie's friends could be listed here as just Dead meat characters A thru Z, but I digress. Jackie's folks are moving away from their sunny California home to Washington DC, and while they're house hunting in my neck of the woods (The East Coast of the Good Ol' US of A) Jackie is having a slumber party at family home.

Now, there are a few red herrings thrown at us in the beginning of this flick. There's the Creepy Guy at the beach that serves no purpose, except to be creepy, and Morgan, a neighbor guy that's just strange. Well, he's strange just so we'll suspect him of being the killer.

Jackie's friends come over for the slumber party and the names I did get were Suzie, Maria, Janine, and Juliet. The guys in this flick also show up at the house, including Michael the token dea---I mean black character, Frank, some Dude-who-Dies-So-Who-Cares-What-His Name-Is and Duncan, the local nerd. But earlier in the day, Juliet met a guy named Ken and she invited him to visit the slumber party too.

The party seems to be going well. There are the normal horror movie false scares when the guys try to rattle the girls a little, but we knew that was coming. The creepy guy from the beach is seen skulking around the house, but he doesn't really do anything.(but turn up dead later...hope I'm not giving anything away) When Jackie calls the police about the Creepy Guy the stock police character thinks its a joke.  Still the party goes on. Until Juliet winds up dead in a garbage bag in a closet.

Naturally, the girls are spooked. But police help is not forthcoming. Ken volunteers to go get his ex-cop uncle for help.  He and Some-Dude-That-Is-To-be-Dead-In-A-Short-While leave the others to get this mysterious uncle. Now, I have not seen the other Slumber Party Movies so I have no idea who this uncle is, but he must have something to do with the other movies...'cuz he's dead and for some reason that drove Ken nutso. So in effect, Ken is the killer. He kills the nameless shmoe he's with and goes back to the house to finish the rest.

There are enough characters left in the house to make it hard to figure out who is going to die...and it doesn't matter, since none of them have a personality, really. Well, the one trait they share is chicken[unwrite] idiocy. There are at least five or six of them, but Ken slaughters Frank and Duncan and then starts drilling girls. No, not that way, you pervert! The modus operandi of Ken is to use a power drill to kill his victims. Stupid and cumbersome, yeah, but its a cheesy flick...what do you expect?

Suprisingly, Ken manages to go on quiet a rampage. The police finally get a clue but its only because the weirdo neighbor, Morgan sees what's going on and calls them. The cops don't arrive until only Jackie and Suzie are left standing. Throughout their battle with the crazed Ken they've wounded him and partially blinded him, but in his death throes he stabs Janine forcing Jackie to kill him with his own weapon. Which is strangely poetic. When the girls did finally defeat and bind the killer Janine voted to kill him right then and end the threat, but Jackie...being the true-blue teen heroine refused. all that got her was another dead friend. The end.

I was going to say at this point that no one noteworthy was in this movie until I saw the credits....and I should have known...dammit...I should have recognized her, but she's a [unwrite]ing chameleon...my arch nemesis...MARIA FORD! She was "Maria"! How could I miss that!? She got naked and how could I have not recognized those distinctly strange looking boobies of hers! That pasty "eeeew" complexion she has? How could I fail to see it!? She even played a character with her own name and she tricked me! AAAARRRGH! As I've said in the Inferno past, Maria Ford can change her appearance so easily its like she's a magician! This time she used an 80's Big Hair/ Bon Jovi fright Wig.

Best Lines: "Lets just kill him and then he'll never get away!"- Whoa! Sisters are doin' it for themselves! I totally agree, too, even though Jackie vetoes that idea.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) I'll never understand women, but then, what man ever will? At a slumber party they dance together...they even perform stripteases in front of each other! Now I simply know that if I were to invite some of my buddies over for a 'sleepover' we definitely would not be dancing with each other....but the weirdest thing to me in this little movie slumber party, is that the girls are drinking beer and Jackie serves COOKIES! Who the [unwrite] eats cookies with BEER? YUCK! Are they potato chip flavored salt cookies? Beer goes with cookies as well as gravy goes with ice cream.

2.) Not only does the one chick, Maria, have some serious 80's style big hair, she has got two of the biggest and yet strangest looking nipples I have ever seen. ( I wrote this down before I realized who Maria was! How does she do this, fool me this way!?)

3.) If you've never seen this movie do you want to lay a little wager? I'll bet you that Michael is the first one to bite the dust! Come on...what do you have to lose? After all he's the token black guy! What are the chances he's going to die first? I'm being sarcastic of course....Michael not only dies first he dies first from "Movie victim dumbness". While knocking at Jackie's door he see, quite clearly a mysterious hooded figure on the side of the house watching. Instead of leavin' in the opposite direction, or even demanding he be let in, this numb-nut walks over, out of the light and into the darkness, where he is attacked, of course. To make it even dumber, this boneheaded idiot runs back to the door and then bangs on it demanding to be let in. The killer spears him with the "For Sale" sign. Y'know, Mikey, a good plan would have been to keep running until you saw another person or simply break the door in.

4.) Speaking of Michael's death, this guy must have only had a pint of blood in his body. When he gets skewered the killer drags the body away and replaces the "for sale" sign in a matter of seconds. One would think that having a sign post rammed through a person would produce a lot more blood. I mentioned it before in another review, but I cut my thumb chopping vegetables once and there was blood all over the place!

5.) One of the girls actually shows some brains. When cornered by the killer she jumps through the sliding glass door! But then she falls unconscious! Bull [unwrite]ing [unwrite]! Jumping through that glass wouldn't have knocked her out. She might have gotten some bad cuts, but a normal chick would have kept on booking! (Note: The girl that jumps through the glass window may have actually died doing so...now, I find it stretching believability that she cut her jugular vein or something crashing through the glass, but she never does get up again. I fully expected her to, but she doesn't. )

6.) You know, I'm betting that if I called the police right now and told them there was a cat in a tree outside they'd be here in less than ten minutes. (probably to arrest me for making stupid phone calls) But these moron cops in this flick....Morgan called them and told them there was a disturbance in the area...the very same cheesedick cop that ignored Jackie tells him someone will be right over...yet, its been at least fifteen movie minutes and no cops! What are they waiting for? Ken to kill the rest of the girls? Speaking of cheesedicks...Morgan sees what's going on from across the street, yet he doesn't act at all. I'm no superhero, but if I saw a bunch of teenage girls being threatened by ONE guy I'd at least TRY to help. I guess Morgan just likes to watch.

NUDITY AND SEX:  Maria and Juliet show their breasts. Juliet has sex with Ken.

HUH?:  If I were to go on a vengeful killing spree I can think of at least 20 better things to use as a weapon than a freaking drill! 

What is it with the cops in movies? When the girls call for help the desk sergeant acts like he's got way better things to do than respond. I thought it worked like this...you call the cops and they show up, but you were playing a prank. They arrest you for it. The point is, they show up! The cops can't just say "Oh, there's no dangerous guy in their house, its a joke!" because if you end up dead there will be hell to pay! Actually, it'd be worse if it was me. If a killer broke into my home and the police refused to come because they thought I was kidding I'd team up with the killer and snuff the stupid bastard that didn't send a squad car over in the first place!

I have to wonder why the girls and Frank don't just jump Ken when he comes back to the house and kills Duncan. After all, there's about six of them and only one of him and plenty of blunt and sharp objects to [unwrite] him up with. I know they're scared, but come on...one guy against six other people. Ken is crazy but he ain't all that threatening. They should have used his drill to dig him a new asshole.

Geez...Maria may well be better off dead with friends like the ones she has. After Suzie blinds Ken with some bleach Maria is still trapped by him. But she distracts him for a miniature eternity! they had probably two full minutes to act and thus save Maria's life but they just stood by and watched! Ken is blinded! He's wounded too! Any one of them could have just snuck up behind him and brained him with any conveniently placed heavy knick-knack! Maria's ghost should haunt all of them for the rest of their days.

THE TALLY: This movie almost made it to the mid point...three devils, which is about the average for a cheesy but not that bad movie. But two devils ain't that bad. Oh, hell, yes it is, but its far better than one! The reason this flick only gets two devils is that it could have merely made sense...I don't know why Ken was the killer. I don't know what the Creepy Guy was around for. If these simple questions were addressed in the script this movie may have achieved a higher rating. As it is, I'd only watch it if I were a die hard fan of Maria Ford's tits.