THE STORY: The big question in about this movie is that it star Ice-T as a fighter pilot. Yes...I said Ice-T. Think about that for a minute...Ice-T. I have nothing against Ice-T, but to see him playing in a movie a fighter pilot...Ice-T? What...does he think since Will Smith pulled it off he can? You know in a decently scripted movie....maybe he could. But only by the hair on his     chinny-chin-chin.

Hotshot pilots Owen Turner and Ryan "Iron Man" Mitchell have a rivalry going. But during a bombing mission in Nicaragua, Turner has other plans than the mission. He fakes his own death in an aircraft explosion. Turner than goes to work for international arms dealer and all around slimy bad guy, Menendez. His first mission is to steal a stealth bomber form a US air force base. Well, the president and his crew ain't too happy about that...but they're even more upset when they find out that a secret super satellite has also been hijacked. Somehow Menendez has gained control of the satellite thats been left over from the old "star wars" project. This satellite can send out EM blasts and disable all kinds of stuff, and Menendez uses it to cripple a submarine, the Normandy, right off of the coast of South Africa. Menendez then demands that the US release some political prisoners and fork over some cash or he'll use his new assets to wreak havoc.

Mitchell is trying to patch things up with his estranged wife, Erin,  and little daughter when he receives a call from his commander, Peterson and President Westwood. He's been hand picked to go find Menendez and end the threat. Of course he does so. Mitchell is not only a hotshot pilot, you see, he's the best hotshot pilot there is....and he's a member of the elite group of men that have gone through some tiptop secret training called "Deep Sleep". I'm not all up on what "Deep Sleep" is, but apparently it makes you better than ten Rambo's! (So they say....the movie doesn't bear that fact out)

Meanwhile, Turner is just doing what all movie bad guys in his position do. Being a jackass. He's rude, crude and does whatever Menendez wants as long as he gets paid. Hmmmm...that just doesn't seem right to me. after all, Turner is a military pilot. He's been tested, trained and evaluated. If he was such a loose cannon the navy wouldn't let him fly a crop duster, let alone train him to fly the best aircraft in the US arsenal. Despite what you may have heard, psychopaths ain't really welcome in the armed forces. You might become a psycho after serving for awhile...but you can't be psycho going in...especially pilots! Anyway, Turner blows up a lot of Menendez's rivals while the rest of the cast plots to stop him.

Mitchell and a SEAL team land in Angola where Menendez has his home. While they manage to do some damage, they fail to recapture the stealth bomber and disable the computer that controls the satellite. The SEAL Team has to pull back, but Mitchell stays behind in hopes of getting the bomber back. While spying on the hangar he discovers that Turner is still alive. When he tells his superiors in Washington about this fact one of them tells the President what a nutcase Turner was in his military training. Again, I ask...if he was such a fruitbar why did the navy retain him?

Well, an attempt to save the men aboard the Normandy is ambushed. Menendez makes good on his threats. He told the prez if any attacks were made against him he'd strike back. He sends Turner in the Stealth Bomber to destroy the Normandy before any of the sailors can be rescued. Through the magic of cinema Turner does this and returns to Angola just ass Menendez is delivering his latest threat to the US. Turner for no good reason blows Menendez's head off and demands that the president give him a few billion dollars or he'll use the satellite to blow a lot of [unwrite] up. Okaaaaay....

We can look at this in two ways...Turner is [unwrite]ing crazy or he's just plain stupid. Even if the US gave him what he wants does he think for a minute he'd have a moments peace? Hell no. He might as well shoot himself! What's the point of all this? Nothing!!! There's no motivation for Turner to make these threats unless he's stark raving mad. The president refuses to do it so Turner prepares to launch in the stealth bomber. He also rats out on Peterson....Peterson gave Turner the codes for the satellite because his family was threatened. (oh, right!) Hilariously, Turner has threatened to drop bombs on Washington DC. From Angola? I guess Stealth bombers have klingon cloaking Devices, 'cuz there no [unwrite]ing way he's going to fly from Angola to DC without being caught...especially since he announced his intentions.

Mitchell receives orders via radio to destroy the computer controlling the satellite instead of simply capturing the stealth bomber. He does so, after fighting with Burke, a henchman of Menendez. Before this however, Mitchell places his watch in the bombers cockpit. Once the computer is disabled and the satellite self-destructed, Mitchell and Turner have a fisticuffs showdown, where Turner eventually prevails. Oh, he hits Mitchell with a wrench because bad guys can't beat the good guys without cheating, but he does win. He takes off in the stealth bomber but Mitchell regains his senses in time to follow in an F-16. I don't know how, but there just happened to be an F-16 in the hanger with the Stealth bomber. I guess  Menendez was pretty well stocked with weaponry. (He should have used that money for more guards!)  Mitchell and Turner have a really brief dogfight. Turner feels that he can't be shot down since its nigh impossible to get a target lock on the stealth bomber, but Mitchell's watch  has some kind of GPS homing beacon in it and the missiles hit him destroying the plane. With his mission accomplished, the president asks if he can do anything for Mitchell. At Mitchell's request, the president comes to his daughter's school for Parents Day. This somehow rectifies any problems that Mitchell and Erin had since she kisses him deeply as the flick ends. The two faced bitch. Don't want me before, but show up with the prez and alluva sudden I'm the man.....

This movie is laughable because its presented so seriously. Only a 12 year old could take it as such though. The FX were mediocre but I can live with that. My problem is that the story was done in a child's play sort of way. Wanna steal a stealth bomber...okay...just go shoot some guys and take it. Wanna get it back...ok, no real plan is needed, only about ten guys. See what I mean? Its done in children's terms, and I'm scared...frightened...that there are adults watching this movie and thinking "Yeah, that's how ya do it!" I know there's some high school dropout somewhere thinking that.

What in the name of Benjamin J. Grimm made them cast Ice-T as Turner? Ice-T is good in some roles, but as a navy pilot? No [unwrite]ing way, man. Ernie Hudson was the President. I'd love to see a black president one day. But I didn't buy Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact and I ain't buyin' Hudson. Hudson's a good actor, but the stupid script kept me from taking him seriously. Peterson was actor William Sadler. Trek fans know him as the mysterious spy in Section 31 on Deep Space nine. Erin was the chick that was the stripper in Under Seige. I don't know her name. But she is a babe!

Best Lines: "New deal! You in?"-Turner to Menendez lead henchman after he whacks him.

"You oughtta be...it hurts like hell!"-Harry to Peterson, when Peterson apologizes for shooting him.

"Everybody wants to be like Mike""-Mitchell after he bites Burke's ear off.

1.) Granted the special effects budget for this movie probably equals the amount of money I'd spend on a case of really good German beer, but you just know something is wrong when the first scenes involving a bombing raid on some cocaine selling nation are taken right out of Flight of the Intruder. Seriously. They were. Look closely at the gunners firing on the US phantom aircraft....they're Vietcong soldiers! Holy Moley, couldn't they have edited this a little better? Also, the models of buildings that you see blowing up are of the old 60's Godzilla movie variety....only without the charm!

2.) Mitchell's estranged wife, Erin, is a moron!! Her problem seems to be that he's always flying on missions and the usual "You're never around" stuff. That does break up a lot of military marriages, but come on...he must have been a pilot when she married him! What did she expect. Ladies let me clue you in on some things...if you marry a soldier, sailor, airman or marine there are going to be sometimes when your hubby isn't going to be around! D'ya think during the few times I've been deployed that I wanted to leave my cushy ass home and wife? Hell no! Sleeping on the ground during the freezing rain, trying not to get my ass shot off and generally being in a [unwrite]ed up place are not anyone's idea of family togetherness....but if you marry a military man he's going to have to do those things. Why the hell is Erin so uptight about it?

3.) Waitaminnit....Menendez threatens to use the super-duper satellite to "erase civilization as we know it"....bank records, communications, etc...This thing is that powerful? What?! According to the Presidents staff this satellite has been abandoned and deactivated since 1984. The US government left a super mega-satellite in orbit that can do all of these things? Man, if our leaders are that stupid we need a revolution!

4.) This pisses me off....I normally will rip the guts out on mistakes in movies involving the military. I try to be fair though. Little mistakes, hey, I'll let it slide. But big mistakes...mistakes that can easily have been fixed by a little [unwrite]ing research? Oh, Lord help you if you make one of them. Get this....Mitchell is first seen on an aircraft carrier. He's in the navy. Its said he went to Annapolis to the naval academy. When he goes to meet with the president he's in a navy uniform. Fine. So why the freaking hell is he called COLONEL Mitchell? There ain't no [unwrite]ing colonels in the US NAVY!!! The rank of Colonel in the navy is a CAPTAIN!!! Geez....Mitchell's commanding officer is a commander? What? A commander in the navy is subordinate to a [unwrite]ing CAPTAIN so this guy can't be Mitchell's commanding officer!!! what stupid-ass, non-researching his material,comic book mentality  toilet head wrote this?! (Granted later in the film Peterson is referred to as an Admiral, but at first he is called a Commander and when he's first seen he is wearing a commander's uniform!)

5.) Are stealth bomber always loaded with nukes? 'Cuz if they ain't I don't see how Turner could tell Menendez's men to load nukes in the plane. Do drug dealing criminal strongmen have nukes in their basements?

NUDITY AND SEX: None

HUH?: Good lord that submarine captain is fat. No one in the military is allowed to have a belly that big.

Speaking of the submarine it has the smallest bridge I've ever seen in a movie! It's supposed to be a state of the art sub, but to be honest we could recreate that bridge in my spare bedroom!

This movie makes it hard to judge how much time is passing, but lets try to puzzle this out....Turner flies the stealth bomber from Angola to right off of the coast of South Africa and destroys the submarine, Normandy. But apparently he gets back real fast because the US forces are going to carpet bomb Menendez's hideout in 25 minutes. This announcement is made while Turner is on his way to destroy the Normandy, yet he makes it back with time to spare before any bombing takes place.

Peterson, once exposed, says he gave the satellites command codes to Turner because the bad guys threatened to kill his family if he didn't comply. He keeps saying "I had no choice." That's weak. Its weak even for b-movie standards. Peterson (who is now called Admiral instead of Commander...who directed this crap?) is a naval officer. He's a goddamn admiral. First of all, his family is probably protected by Military Police. Secondly, he did have a choice. If I was threatened in such a way I'd tell my superiors. I'm fairly certain that within moments my family would be under guard by a lot of gun-totin', kickass soldiers....and I'm not a [unwrite]ing admiral!

THE TALLY: Nothing is worse in the b-movie world than a movie that could have been good...maybe not great, but good...that just fails. Well, this one is not even a good choice for a time waster. There are far better piles of crap to waste your time watching. Its just no worth the time, trouble or cheapass rental to see this movie. I mean, come on...Ice-T???