Steel Frontier

THE STORY: Almost ever After-the-Apocalypse movie is a rip off of Mad Max. So what. We expect that. Mad Max pretty much set a standard. As far as this movie goes, it was so-so. I didn't hate it. As a matter of fact it was quite enjoyable for a little action flick. I'm not saying it was great or even original (it wasn't) but at least it wasn't boring.

After the "Big boom" , as its called, survivors form a small community called New Hope. Surrounded by ruins of the old world and the desert, the denizens of New Hope melt old tires down for fuel. I guess that's all they do, and I don't really know what they are doing with the tires or any materials derived from them. a man named J.W. Quantrell  has his own little army and he rampages through the wasteland conquering places in order to form his New Order.

Quantrell and his "Death Riders" as they are called come to New hope and conquer it. The citizens there are completely unprepared for any aggression and offer little resistance. Quantrell decides to go on his way, forming his New Order and leaves his son, Junior (I didn't catch his name so we'll call him Junior) in charge of New Hope.

The Death Riders impose heavy rules on New Hope basically ending all of the the citizen's freedom. Now, the Death riders aren't all that impressive. Ever see The Road Warrior? The bikers in that movie probably had more sense then these guys. They ain't much better than common thugs...no, scratch that...they have less sense and discipline than common thugs. At least the Great Humongous was kind of clever. The Death Riders also go looking for new recruits in the desert and patrol the roads for people trying to escape New hope.

Enter Yuma. Yuma is a drifter and the hero of our movie. The Death Riders catch him on the highway and bring him to New Hope. After demonstrating that he is the best gunfighter in the world to Junior, Yuma joins the death riders. Fear not, dear reader, you can tell from the get-go that Yuma is just playing them for fools. He's got his own agenda.

One of the Death Riders, Charlie, is a real sleaze. He's basically trying to rape a woman named Sara as soon as he gets to New Hope. Yuma breaks that up. He "wins" Sara from him in a card game, but lets her go home, and he protects the townspeople as best he can without tipping his hand. Yuma's luck runs out when Charlie attempts to rape Sara. Sara's son, Luke, kills Charlie's sidekick, and Yuma intervenes and gets into a fight with Charlie. During the fight Sara shoots Charlie in the back.

Well, the other Death Riders guarding New Hope don't take Charlie's death to lightly. they all believe that Yuma had something to do with it. As they all speculate on how to get rid of Yuma, he appears. In real wild west style, about five of the Death Riders confront Yuma on the street. Before any of them can draw a weapon, Yuma guns down all of them. A firefight ensues and Yuma pretty much kills the Death riders himself, including Quantrell's weasley son.

When word reaches Quantrell of this massacre he returns to New hope with a strike force. His intention is to kill everyone there. But Yuma and some other brave souls defend the city. Yuma sets up a few traps to stop the Death Riders and when Quantrell's men are all dead he makes a hasty retreat in an old bus. Luke, the pain-in-the-ass kid, sneaks into the bus and Sara gives chase with a truck. So does Yuma. In a scene that will remind you of the Road Warrior, Yuma and Sara chase Quantrell down an open stretch of desert highway. Quantrell manages to disable Yuma's vehicle, but he hops in with Sara. when she gets close enough to the bus, Yuma jumps over and fights with Quantrell. the bus flips over about 20 times and Sara crashes into it with her truck. Suprisingly or I should probably say, impossibly, Yuma, Quantrell and Luke survive this. Yuma manages to kill Quantrell and then he prepares to leave with Quantrell's body. When Luke asks him who he is, Yuma gives him an old wanted poster with Quantrell's face on it.

Huh? What the [unwrite]ing hell? Why would Yuma have a wanted poster of Quantrell? Is there some kind of federal government after-the-apocalypse? If so, it my have been a good idea to let the audience know! For that matter there's a lot of things left unexplained. We learn practically nothing about Yuma, so there's never an explanation for his superlative skill as a gunfighter. This guy makes those old Clint Eastwood Spaghetti westerns look realistic! Yuma also has an old faded photo of a woman and a child, and its obvious they meant something to him...was it his family? Well, we never find out. Yuma has some advanced electronic gizmos...where'd he get this stuff? We never find out. Yuma was played by Joe Lara (Operation Delta Force, Hologram Man) Quantrell was the late actor Brion James. (Blade Runner, Dead Man Walking)

Best Lines: "Christ was one man, so was Hitler."- Quantrell's second in command, when asked how one man could kill so many of his soldiers,

1.) I would think that having both legs blasted or cut off would produce more blood.

2.) Why is it that After-the-apocalypse societies are always so unready for an attack? Just once I'd like to see one of these movies with a community that at least tried to defend itself with some commonsense attached! These bozos are just waltzing around with no discernible outer perimeter and no alarm system when the Death Riders just roll in. Idiots. I'm no great tactician but even the most retarded human being would have thought of having someone on watch and a decent barrier against attacks. Wouldn't you if you were in such a world?

3.) Quantrell says that New hope will be run like a military camp when he takes over. Now, I can understand that as Quantrell was a military officer of some sort before the world ended....but then why are his men such a rag tag group of misfits? They're no better than a bigass street gang. You'd think that he would at least have tried to get them into some kind of useful military organization.

4.) ULTRA COOL! Yuma does repels down the big tower Australian style! (Head first) I did that while learning how to repel at Fort Campbell! (I also busted my ass...I might have really hurt myself if the man on belay wasn't on the ball! Uh...actually, I didn't even want to try it, but the Sergeant major pushed me off of the tower. I have this thing about heights) Still, it was pretty smooth when Yuma did it. (as opposed to me. I land with a loud, bone crunching thud)

5.) No way in hell is the phrase....there's no way in hell that Yuma, Luke and Quantrell would have survived the massive crash at the end. I can't buy it....I tried but it ain't working.

6.) Yuma shoots a gun out of Quantrell Junior's hand and then keeps shooting at it in the air, making it bounce around for a few seconds until he catches it. Uh....has there ever been any recorded incident of anyone being able to actually do that?

NUDITY AND SEX: None.

HUH?: So after the bad guys capture Yuma they don't disarm him? When his captors threaten him, Lara produces a pistol! these guys are conquerors?

When Ada tells the preacher to shut up I have to wholeheartedly agree. First off, its a secret meeting. The bad guys have already told the citizens of New Hope that anyone out after nightfall would be shot...the preacher wants to shout about "God's will" at the secret meeting. Moron!!! Its got to be hard to convince people of God's mercy after the world has been blown to kingdom come, and I have always believed that the Lord helps those that help themselves. The preacher reminds me of some wishy washy folks I used to know that would let life trample them and pray that god would save them...all the while not doing a damn thing to help themselves. If I was Ada, I would have killed the preacher myself. Time enough for preaching when the threat is ended.

Quantrell forces the able bodied young men of New Hope to join his army. One of them is Ada's son. Now, when the big showdown occurs, one of the guys Quantrell has with him is this man. He hesitates to shoot Ada, but is gunned down anyway. My thought is why would Quantrell take this guy on his strike force. Either he has a pretty damn small army, or he's plain stupid. Why take a soldier back to the same place he was shanghaied from to wreak revenge? Chances are he'll turn on you! You can't capture a guy, force him to join your army under threat of death and then expect him to fight against the same town that you captured him from and think he'll be loyal! Quantrell is an imbecile! How'd he get to be the leader without having a trace of knowledge in human reactions?

Once again there's a plentiful amount of fuel, working vehicles and ammunition After-the-Apocalypse! I'm telling you, according to Hollywood the only thing we won't have after the "Big Boom" is TV!

What the hell? Is Yuma from the future? He has a few gizmos that would make Mr. Spock envious! Where'd he get his little handy Star Trek-like healing thingie? I think that's important enough to clue the audience in on! Its After-The-Apocalypse! Band-aids should be in short supply let alone high tech miracle cures! Amazingly Sara doesn't even ask where he got it! Did the world end after the year 2400?

THE TALLY: I would be a liar if I told you this was a good movie. Its not original at all, and it leaves a lot of important questions unanswered. But I liked it. If all you want is a quasi-futuristic western gunfight movie, remove your brain and insert this tape. Its an effective time waster, just don't look for much in character development or story.