Superman

Starring: Christopher Reeves, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman and Marlon Brando

THE STORY:  I remember seeing an ad on TV for US News magazine years ago. In it the owner/ editor/ big boss or whatever was saying how much better his magazine was than the other news magazines. While doing so he showed the cover of a TIMES magazine, a cover celebrating the 50th anniversary of Superman. The man looked at it and read the headline and sneered "He's 50! Who cares?".

Hmmmphh.

I cared.

Superman....the first modern superhero. He's the embodiment of all that's supposed to be good in us. Yeah, I know he's a fictional character and I could take him to task for some of his incarnations that I'm not fond of, but he's still Superman. Sometimes when you need a hero it doesn't matter if he's real or not. And superman is a hero for all of us. As they say in this movie, "Superman cares about everyone."

The movie is pretty faithful to what I know of Superman's origins. The doomed planet Krypton is due to explode but no one will listen to the learned scientist Jor-El when he tries to warn them. The High Council of Time Lor...I mean Krypton has just banished several criminals to the other dimensional Phantom  Zone and they threaten the same fate for Jor-El if he doesn't shut the hell up about the planet being doomed.

An aside here: Marlon Brando is Jor-El. While I don't actually hate seeing him in a movie, he's not all that. Maybe I need to watch his older stuff, because I don't see what the big deal is with him. I'm only being honest and I doubt I'll hurt Mr. Brando's feelings. I respect him as an actor, he just ain't my cup of tea. Sounds like a nice guy though, if you listen to the directors comments on the DVD.

Anyhoo, As you might know, Krypton explodes but not before Jor-El sends his infant son, Kal-El to earth in a rocket crystal thingie. The lad is discovered by Ma and Pa Kent, farming couple in the Midwest of the US. They soon discover that the young baby has super strength and other powers. Adopting him as their own son, they name him Clark. This strange visitor from another planet soon grows to be a young man. One thing I remember my old roommate and fellow comic book fan Eric saying was that "Pa Kent would have to be a harsh disciplinarian." He was right of course. Clark turns out to be an honest, upstanding young man....which is pretty fantastic. What do you do when your teenage son wants to stay up all night or smoke a joint? If he's superstrong, superfast and impervious to physical harm, not much. Luckily Clark doesn't have those problems. Clark discovers a crystal in the barn, one that was in the ship that brought him to Earth as a baby. He begins to suspect that he might not be of this planet.

Soon after his adoptive father dies, Clark leaves his family farm (after making sure his adoptive mother is taken care of and saying goodbye) and sets out on his own, to the north pole. The crystal's arcane technology creates a Kryptonian structure, and a hologram of Jor-El explains to Clark who he really is. I guess Clark spends several years talking to Jor-El's hologram because he grows from a young man into Christopher Reeves. Then he travels to the city of Metropolis and gets a job as a reporter for the Daily Planet. The rest of this you should know...he meets Perry White, Jimmy Olsen and of course Lois Lane. Clark doesn't actually make an appearance as Superman until one night a Helicopter carrying Lois Lane becomes damaged and almost falls from atop a building to the street. Now that the world has seen the flying man of steel, Superman takes to the skies of Metropolis doing good deeds and fighting crime. Pretty soon the world knows a new hero.

This doesn't sit well with Lex Luthor, criminal mastermind. With his assistants, buxom Ms. Tessmacher and buffoonish Otis, he sabotages two nuclear missiles. His plan? To activate the San Andreas fault and sink California into the pacific ocean. Luthor has purchased seemingly worthless desert land...land that will become valuable coastal territory when California is gone. But Luthor realizes that this new Superhero will thwart him unless he destroys him. Using his mad scientist brain (and information from Superman's interview with Lois Lane) Luthor figures out that a meteorite found in Africa is a fragment of Krypton...Kryptonite...and that its unique radiation is harmful to Superman. So he steals it. Then he tricks Superman into coming to his hideout and chains him in a pool with the Krytonite. As all comic book fans know, Kryptonite is the one thing that can kill Superman. Relieved of his great powers, the Man of Steel is helpless and expiring. Meanwhile the sabotaged missiles launch. One is aimed at the San Andreas fault, the other for New Jersey. (Luthor's thinking is that even if Superman were free he can't stop both missiles at once.) However Ms. Tessmacher realizes that her mother in New Jersey will die if Luthor isn't stopped. In exchange for freeing Superman she makes him promise to stop the missile heading for New Jersey first. (and Superman never lies, so she knows his word is good.) Even though his friends Lois and Jimmy are in California and imminent danger, Superman keeps his word. Streaking through the sky he catches up with the first missile and flies it into space where it explodes harmlessly. But even as this threat is taken care of, Superman sees the other missile explode on the fault. Earthquakes rock California and the entire region is in chaos. Superman flies into the San Andreas fault and demonstrates his unbelievable strength as he seals the fault with his bare hands! Still, quakes and tremors rock the area...Superman speeds to where he is needed saving children, trains and generally anyone in danger, including Jimmy Olsen. But he's too late to save Lois, who is crushed to death by rocks. Grief stricken Superman breaks the prime directive...I mean the rule that Jor-El set down for him in the use of his powers....not to interfere with Human History. Flying around the earth at ultra speed Superman turns back time just enough to save Lois from death. Now he has one task left. In a deleted scene that you can see on the DVD, Superman rushes back to Luthor's hideout and saves Ms. Tessmacher just as Luthor is about to kill her for her treachery. The part that made it into the movie is Supes delivering Luthor and Otis to the penitentiary (Huh? No trial?) and when the warden thanks him for his help, Superman tells him "No need to thank me sir...we're on the same side!" and flies off.

With all of the newer darker, and more violent superheroes you can find today I wonder how younger people will react to seeing this movie for the first time. (Its over 20 years old after all) Other than Spider-Man, Superman was the first superhero I was familiar with as a kid. My grandfather and I would watch old reruns of the 50's TV show on Saturday mornings. (Starring George Reeve, no relation to Christopher) Watching this movie again really makes me wish for a hero like Superman. It might be a fantasy, but sometimes a fictional hero can still do real good. And Superman is the greatest hero of them all.

Look for cameos by Larry Hagman as an army officer and John Katzenberg, Cliff from Cheers! as radar operator. Margot Kidder, who the Inferno last saw in The Clown at Midnight was Lois Lane.

Best Lines: "I certainly hope this little incident didn't put you off flying, miss....statistically speaking of course, its still the safest way to travel."-Superman after saving Lois from a helicopter accident.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) So the Kryptonians have mastered intergalactic travel, have knowledge of the existence of other planets and can send their criminals to another dimension, but they can't tell that their own world is about to blow up?

2.) I won't even get into the "How come people don't recognize Clark Kent as Superman" thing, but I'll wonder why Clark acts like such a dork. Clark could still be a cool guy without giving away his identity as the Big S. Besides no one recognizes him anyway and his entire disguise consists of a pair of glasses!

3.) Its a cool scene, but when Superman catches the falling helicopter I chuckled. He grabs the copter by the skid, but wouldn't the bulk of the machine simply break off and fall? Its a common problem in superhero comics that I've noticed...people with superstrength doing things that are well, impossible, even if you buy that they have super strength. Now I could be wrong about the copter thing, but I doubt it. John Byrne tried to answer this particular problem when he wrote and drew Superman in the late 80's. He had Superman lift an a small island and fly it into space...but Superman explained that he doesn't so much carry heavy objects while flying he somehow flies the objects with him. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but at least it kind of explained why the island didn't crumble under its own weight. Too bad no one made an excuse for Iron Man...I had one comic book where he flew away with a gigantic reactor that should have simply fallen apart. For another take on that in George R.R. Martin's Wild Cards novel series Golden Boy, a man with superhuman strength, explained in detail why he couldn't do things that Superman did in comics because of the relationship of weight and mass.

4.) After his first night of good deed doing Superman consults the hologram of Jor-El again. Jor-El tells him he must keep his secret identity as Clark Kent for various reasons. One reason is to protect those he cares about. But if that's the case why have a secret identity? Just be Superman! Then no one will conclude that Clark Kent is the man of Steel and try to harm his friends or family!

5.) When Clark leaps out of the window of the Daily planet building to become Superman no one saw him? Bull[unwrite]! The room was packed!

NUDITY AND SEX:  None. Superman doesn't approve of pornography or gratuitous nudity.

HUH?:  Lois Lane is a forgiving chick. When Superman invites her to fly with him and he accidentally drops her (and then rescues her) I thought she'd be pissed, like "You big blue jerk! You scared the living [unwrite] out of me! Take me home, you flying fruitcake!". Heck my own wife went berserk last time I jumped out and said boo.

How did Luthor build all of this stuff by himself?

I know that the movie was filmed in New York, but since its supposed to be in the fictional city of Metropolis, how can Superman take Lois flying past the Statue of Liberty? Is there a duplicate lady liberty in Metropolis or did he fly all the way to New York?

Speaking of Superman taking Lois flying, they flew over the clouds. Can Lois have possibly been able to breathe way up there?

I understand that Superman promised to save New Jersey first, but considering the consequences...and not even that Jimmy and Lois were in danger...the San Andreas Fault explosion represents the greatest threat to human life. Besides...New Jersey? I have family in Jersey and its still a dump! (And please, God, don't let my eventual recruiting assignment be in New Jersey...please) Addendum: Weeks after I wrote this I found out that my recruiting assignment IS in New Jersey! Curses!)

THE FINAL JUDGMENT: Actor Christopher Reeves was injured several years ago  in a horse riding accident and paralyzed. He has vowed to walk again, and I hope he does. So let me take this opportunity to wish Mr. Reeves the best. As for his part as Superman, which he is known for, I think he made a perfect man of steel. Fans of superhero movies will most likely have seen this movie but those of you haven't, get the DVD version. It has some added scenes and a directors commentary that's pretty informative. Besides, its not a bird or a plane, its Superman!