Superman II

Starring: Christopher Reeves, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman and Marlon Brando

THE STORY:  Up until Batman hit the silver screen this was probably the best Superhero flick you could find. Christopher Reeves and Margot Kidder return as Superman and Lois Lane in this sequel and this time the Big S has foes that are just as powerful as he is.

Before planet Krypton exploded, Jor-El, the father of Superman, condemned three criminals to dimensional limbo of the Phantom Zone. General Zod, the ruthless tyrant, Ursa, his evil femme fatale and Non, the mute brute were to spend eternity in their prison for their crimes. Superman himself unknowingly frees them by accident when he throws a hydrogen bomb into deep space, saving Paris from terrorists. The detonation somehow cracks the time space continuum releasing the villains. Even though they are in space the proximity of Earth's yellow sun endows them with the same power as Superman.

So what do you do when you're evil and find yourself able to survive in the vacuum of space? Well, if you're these dickwads you go to the moon and attack a few hapless astronauts. Meanwhile on Earth, Clark Kent and Lois Lane are on an assignment to get the dirt on a Honeymoon scam at Niagara Falls. When a child is in danger Clark turns into Superman and rescues him. Lois begins to put 2 and 2 together. Whenever Superman is around Clark is not to be found. She's so sure that Clark is Superman that she throws herself into the water certain that Clark will become the Man of Steel and save her. Clark's smarter than that though. He does save her while maintaining his dork act. Lois changes her mind about him...until later that evening Clark accidentally trips and falls into a fireplace. When Lois realizes he's not burned at all Clark tells her the truth...that he really is Superman!

Supes has bigger problems brewing though. Lex Luthor, the criminal mastermind has broken out of prison with the help of Ms. Tessmacher. Luthor has created a device that can track Superman in flight and he's discovered that the Man of Steel always flies North after a days work of Good Deeds. Luthor and Ms. Tessmacher travel north and find Superman's Fortress of Solitude. Luthor discovers information about the Phantom Zone and Zod and his cronies; he deduces that the additional signals on his device are the three criminals from Krypton and makes plans to use them to get power for himself.

One of Clark's biggest problems is his stupidity in dealing with his inexplicable attraction to Lois Lane. Now that she knows he's Superman and is in love with him, he takes her to his Fortress of Solitude. Consulting the hologram of his dead kryptonian mother (I guess they couldn't get Brando for the sequel) Supes is told that he must become mortal if he is to love a mortal. This means giving up his super powers. Excuse me, but I didn't know Superman was immortal! Is this a lost episode of Highlander or something? Anyway, Superman stupidly agrees, and steps into a molecule chamber. Presumably this device changes his molecular structure and turns him into an ordinary human being. At long last Clark Kent has the object of his desire, Lois Lane.

But while Clark and Lois are making love at the North Pole general Zod and company arrive on Earth and instantly begin to kick ass. The army is helpless to stop them, and I guess Green Lantern was out of town. The President of the United States is forced to kneel before Zod, and abdicate all power to him. The other leaders of the world similarly surrender, because if they don't the evil kryptonians will destroy them. (sure would be a good time to find that Kryptonite from the first movie.) When Lois and Clark return to civilization the discover what's happened....but not until a bully at a diner beats the [unwrite] out of Clark. Without his superpowers Clark is no match for the man and gets his ass handed to him. Clark then realizes that he has to go back to the Fortress and try and regain his powers...even though the holographic mother told him the process couldn't be undone.

Lois returns to the Daily Planet and awaits Superman with the others. The entire world wonders why Superman hasn't arrived to save them. Luthor meanwhile makes a deal with Zod. The General is bored. He wanted to rule Earth and now he has...but there are no challengers to his reign. the earthlings know they can't defeat the Kryptonians and Zod longs for a worthy opponent. Luthor informs Zod about Superman and how to find him. Kidnap Lois Lane....its a known fact that Superman always comes to her rescue, just like Underdog always comes to save Sweet Polly Purebred. (If you don't know what I mean, don't sweat it. Though I'm sure Doc Freex and probably Joe at Opposable Thumbs get it) Zod and his followers do just that. They burst into the Daily Planet building and attempt to capture Lois...but before they do Superman arrives! I guess the hologram lied....there was a way for him to get his powers back!

What follows next is a darn good super fight. Watching it made me realize something. Superman might be the mightiest hero of them all, but he abhors violence. Supes doesn't so much attack his enemies as he tries to stop and defeat them somehow. But his good intentions and fighting skills are overwhelmed since he's outnumbered and his enemies have his powers. It doesn't help that Zod, Ursa and Non don't care how many innocent people get hurt or killed during their fight. Superman realizes that if the battle continues many people in Metropolis will die so he flies away. Everyone, including Zod thinks he's turned yellow, but as we shall see Superman has an idea.

Luthor tells Zod about Superman's Fortress of Solitude so the General and his crew take him and Lois Lane there for the final showdown. Superman is waiting for them. A short fight takes place, one where Superman displays powers I didn't know he had. (teleportation? making false images of himself? What the [unwrite]?) The man of steel is forced to surrender when Non and Ursa threaten to kill Lois. Superman tries to get Luthor to talk the villains into stepping into the molecule chamber so he can remove their powers, but Luthor double crosses him and squeals. Zod then forces Superman into the chamber. The chamber activates and Superman sullenly steps out. Zod proclaims that the son of Jor-El will be his slave forever and tells him to kneel and take his hand...which Superman does...and crushes it. Superman cleverly reversed the molecule chamber so that its effects happened outside of the chamber. Since he was inside of it he is the only kryptonian to retain his super powers. Without their powers Zod and his minions are short work for the man of steel. Lois defeats Ursa herself. Its not clear but my guess is Superman banishes them back to the phantom Zone (or kills them....but Supes wouldn't do that)

With the villains gone Superman is once again the champion of truth, justice and the American way. He flies to the white house to tell the president that he's sorry that he'd been away and let this happen and that from now on he'll never let us down again.

Superman was never again to have such a challenge until he faced the monster Doomsday in his comic book...and died. (Don't worry, Supes returned.) If any of you comic fans know exactly how Superman happened to return, please let me know. Unfortunately I was unable to get any of the comic books after the Death of Superman due to...well, I was in the middle of nowhere. I'd like to know what happened in Supes resurrection.

Best Lines: "Come to me, Son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod!"- Zod.

"Superman didn't even do nothin'!"- A kid who is disappointed when Superman leaves the battle with Zod and his posse.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) I'll be real impressed if that's not the real Eiffel tower but a set that they built...because having been to the real Eiffel tower quite recently that elevator looks pretty much like the one I rode! But what is Lois thinking going up there? That these terrorists want an interview?

2.) Why isn't Ms. Tessmacher in jail? In the last movie Superman took Luthor and Otis to prison. Did he just let Ms. Tessmacher go? Why? Even though she freed him from the kryptonite trap Luthor had prepared it was only so he would save her mother! She's still guilty as sin for conspiring in Luthor's plot!

3.) I've made some bad mistakes with women in the past...but not as bad as Superman's! If I were the Man of Steel I'd never give up my super powers for Lois Lane! What could be better than being Superman!? And I don't get it....why does Superman have to become a regular guy just to be with Lois? Would he be too 'super' in the sack or something? (My ex-roommate from college asked that when we watched this movie and he was completely serious.)

4.) Let me get this straight...Clark walked back to the fortress of solitude? He doesn't have his powers! He's not even wearing gloves! His jacket doesn't look too heavy either! Funk Dat! I spent a day in the snowy forests once in freezing weather and I was dressed for it and I still nearly got frostbite! This guy walked to the North Pole!

5.) Superman really needs to have a talk and probably some tips from Batman. He might have been able to take Zod and his cronies out if he was more aggressive. He should have killed Non when he had the chance instead of pinning him under the tower (which couldn't hold him for long anyway) and then went straight after Zod. After her broke Zod's neck he could kick Ursa's ass at his leisure. Guess that's why I ain't Superman. No foolin' around, just kick ass and get the job done.

6.) If you look really quick you can see a big under arm stain when Superman lifts Zod over his head. Superman isn't supposed to perspire.

NUDITY AND SEX:  Clark and Lois are seen in the afterglow, but no nudity and sex are seen...just implied.

HUH?:  How long does it take Superman to get to Paris from the states? Last movie he flew fast enough to turn time backwards!

Its pretty arrogant for Superman to figure he doesn't need to lock the door of his fortress of solitude! Luthor just strolls in and Supes is lucky that Luthor's the only earthman to find it! My front door is more secure that the home of the Man of Steel!

After Supes gave up his powers I half expected Lois to say "Okay, Genius, how do we get back to civilization now that you can't fly anymore?".

Luthor's not a criminal genius...as I said above why not look for the kryptonite from the first movie? With it he could have a real bargaining chip over Zod.

THE FINAL JUDGMENT: You don't have to be faster than a speeding bullet to enjoy this flick. If you liked the first movie you'll like this one. The Superman movies after this aren't nearly as good, (some would say they sucked....well, I would say they sucked) But for Superman fans this is a must see.