THE STORY: I was hoodwinked! Admittedly I just grabbed this movie off of the Horror Shelf in my local video store. I was tricked because this movie belongs in the comedy section. It might not be at home there because to tell you the truth it wasn't funny at all.

I was beginning to think that this movie might be a comedy-spoof when I first put the tape in. The theme song "teenage exorcist" seemed out of place for straight horror. As the movie starts we meet a young woman, Diane, buying a house. She only pays fifty dollars to the realtor and then moves in. A few weird things happen, but nothing really scary. She sees a snake, she finds a ouija board, etc. It seems the house was once owned by some guy named Baron DeSade and he was an evil man. A devil worshipper and such. Well, Diane becomes possessed and asks her sister Sally and brother-in-law Mike to come over. Also, Diane's boyfriend, Jeff shows up too.

This is where I got off the train. From here on in its spoof city of the horror genre. Which might not have been a problem if any of the gags or dialogue were actually humorous. I only kept watching it because I didn't have my remote and I didn't feel like getting up.

I have a theory about this movie...you see Diane is acted by Brinke Stevens and the bumbling priest, Father McFarren, was played by Robert Quarry. Both of these people were in the movie Spirits. The house they're in is the same house that was portrayed as Herron House in Spirits. Methinks the filmmakers wanted to get as much mileage out of the house as they could get and whipped up a quickie-comedy script. Stevens and Quarry were probably contractually obligated to be in this movie or they needed some cash. The plot is pretty much the same as Spirits too. The same house was haunted by Andre Picard, who was a devil worshipper. In both movies Brinke Stevens is possessed by the evil spirits. You know, Brinke isn't as bad lookin' woman....I kind of like her even though I don't think she's a good actress. (something about her voice appeals to me) but I don't think she was a teenager when this was filmed. Robert Quarry certainly isn't a teenager...so who exactly was the teenage exorcist? Oh...and the creepy realtor was Michael Berryman. He's the really weird looking bald guy that's been in a lot of flicks. You may not be able to name any, but you'll know him when you see him. (He was in Servants of Twilight, The hills Have Eyes, and Deadly blessing to name a few)

Addendum: I have learned from Nathan Shumate at The B-movie mailing list that Brinke Stevens actually wrote this movie! Nathan has a great site and you can see it by clicking here.

Best Lines: "Well given the choice of me sluggin' her or her disemboweling you with a chainsaw, its a tough call, but I  think my conscience is clear, Sal."- Mike's answer to Sally asking if they did the right thing by knocking a crazed Diane out.

1.) Someone needs to get Diane a ticket to ride on the Clue Train. A realtor sells her house...a big ass house...a mansion, for FIFTY BUCKS! The realtor is kind of creepy looking and obviously wants to get away from the place as soon as possible, before nightfall. She hallucinates a big ass snake in the bedroom. Those are enough clues for most lobotomy patients, but later on that night Diane finds a ouija board and sees the planchette move by itself. By not leaving immediately she is now The Dumbest Broad in Haunted House Movie History! She only paid fifty dollars for the place! I'd cut my losses and take my ass to the nearest Motel 6!

2.) Of course movie logic dictates that they tie Diane to a bed instead of calling the cops or someone. I mean, she only tried to kill her sister with a chainsaw. no need to involve the authorities.

3.) I think Tom Servo or Crow said it once on MST3K: "What is it about the Gates of Hell that compels people to walk into them?" Why would Mike, Jeff and Sally want to go into the basement when they hear weird noises coming from there?

NUDITY AND SEX: You get a glimpse of Sally's goodies in the shower scene.

HUH?: As soon as this movie went from semi-serious and into spoof territory it ruined any "Huh" statements I can think of. I normally don't watch comedies and this is one of the reasons. How can you go "Huh" when the movie isn't supposed to serious? Anything goes, no matter how implausible or ridiculous.

THE TALLY: Even if you're into comedies I'd give this movie a wide berth. Its not funny and its only barely entertaining. No scratch that...its not even barely entertaining. By mid-movie the weak gags and dialogue will begin to drive you insane. This movie also failed the cat test. My two cats, Stache and Banshee got up left the room about 30 minutes into this yucko film. Sorry Brinke....this movie has to go into the void, where it won't waste the time of any other poor souls.