Time Runner
THE STORY:
What the hell happened to Mark Hammill's career that he had to be in this silly ass flick?Hamill plays Captain Michael Raynor, a fighter pilot in the year 2022. Of course that's the year the aliens attack the earth in a devastating assault. Raynor launches from a spacestation in earth orbit just as its destroyed, but his escape pod falls into a wormhole and crashes in Washington state in the year 1992. Throughout this film we see glimpses of a future military base being overrun by the alien forces while the few surviving personnel try to launch some missiles that will supposedly "blast the aliens back to where they came from". A government official, Colonel Freeman is hot on Raynor's trail. Freeman is an alien. The aliens are on earth in 1992 paving the way for their invasion. Dr. Karen Donaldson, (Rae Dawn Chong) an alien in disguise helps Raynor escape Freeman. She's appalled to find out that her people are invading the earth in the year 2022. An airplane mechanic, Arnie Hawkesworth teams up with Raynor and Karen for no really good reason. Every so often Raynor is able to see into the near future. He saw Freeman attack him before it happened and was able to save the life of a waitress because of it. The trio figure that if they can get the flight recorder from Raynor's escape pod and show someone in power then the earth will be able to get ready for the attack and not be destroyed. They break into the air force base where the ship is being held, kill a lot of guys and escape. Then they go see Senator Neila, (Brion James) who, in the year 2022 will be the World President. ( Not just the US president mind you, but the WORLD PRESIDENT. Yeah right) Unfortunately Neila is an alien. In the future we see Neila sabotage the missile strike, dooming mankind's final hope. Neila captures Raynor and Donaldson but one of Raynor's future visions occurs (people around him can see it too) In the vision Raynor's mom, just about to give birth to him is shot by one of Freeman's goons. Donaldson plays along like she's helping Neila and Raynor escapes. With Arnie's help they make it to his mother just in time to stop the assassin. But Mrs. Raynor is hit by a stray bullet. Donaldson arrives and they take Mrs. Raynor into an ambulance...which was stupid because the driver is an alien and drives them straight to Neila and Freeman. Mrs. Raynor dies of her injuries just before giving birth to Raynor. (I know, its confusing...isn't time travel always?) Neila is going to kill the baby Raynor and is interested in seeing what happens to the future Raynor when he does so. But Arnie pops in (he followed the ambulance) and blazes away with an M-16. Raynor and Donaldson make it to the roof of the building with the baby but are trapped there by Neila and Freeman. Once again Arnie shows up and kills Freeman. Neila is pushed off of the roof to his death. In the future we see the future Neila die as a result. Then Raynor vanishes. Arnie and Donaldson are left with the baby Raynor.
Ok, this movie was never going to be a blockbuster like say, STAR WARS, but they could have tied up a few loose ends. Is the earth safe in the future? we only saw Neila die...that doesn't mean the invasion stops. What happened to Raynor? Did he just wink out of existence? Is his mind in the baby Raynor now? (and if so how? Why?) This must have been a bitter step down for Mark Hammill, the actor who played (dum-dada DUM) Luke Skywalker in the ridiculously popular Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. Brion James can be seen in a pile of movies, including Blade runner, Dead Man Walking, and Mutator.
Best Lines:
"Sir, I know you'll find this hard to believe but I'm not of this time."- Raynor tries to explain to Neila his predicament. (before he knows Neila is an alien.)"Christ, I'm getting tired of this guy!"-
Freeman is pissed that Arnie keeps showing up at the last minute and saving Raynor. Why would an alien say "Christ"?"Side bar, corner pocket."-
Arnie kills an alien by richoteting a bullet.ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:
1.)
For a superior race the aliens use weak weapons. In the future the alien battlecruisers have to hit earth's spacestation a buncha times before it explodes. also when they invade the base in 2022 they use automatic weapons? Why don't they have death rays or wave-motion guns or something?2.)
hahaha-When Donaldson and her partner Carl look at the circuitry in Raynor's X- wing fighter...oops I mean escape pod, they say "very advanced" and are in awe of its technology, but what we see is what you'd see if I showed you the motherboard of this computer. I'm suprised it didn't say "Intel Inside".3.)
Raynor steals clothes from an old man. Later Freeman comes to the old man's house and asks questions about Raynor. Then he kills him. Why? Why do government black ops guys in movies always kill people for no good reason? The old man was no threat whatsoever. He didn't know anything. He thought Raynor was a thief and that was it.4.)
Its awful sporting of the military to let Raynor and Donaldson duck behind cover before they fire on them when they break into the air force base. Several times Raynor and Donaldson were in the open and the guards would hold their fire until they got behind something.5.)
Arnie is a goddamn superhero! He bursts in at the last moment FOUR times and saves Raynor and Donaldson in this movie. He's a regular Rambo. Each time he just happens to be there at the right time and he kills oodles of guys. When Raynor escapes from Neila the first time Arnie just HAPPENS to be at the right door with the getaway vehicle all revved up. Damn, they should have made this movie about him!6.)
Every time Raynor got in trouble I kept thinking "Use the Force, man! Use the Force!"NUDITY AND SEX:
NoneHUH?:
Donaldson and Raynor have the flight recorder and Donaldson has to download the info on it to laser disk so they can use it. Its night and she says she'll finish in the morning. What? There are people looking for them with the intent to kill and recover the evidence! Why wait until morning? I think I could pull an all nighter if the fate of the world hung in the balance.Arnie gets involved in all of this because he was goldbricking (sleeping) in the back of a small plane that Raynor and Donaldson steal from the airfield. He overhears their conversation about aliens and time travel and decides to join them just like that. Right.
Arnie tells Donaldson that she's a good looking woman even though she's not human. Raynor comments that she's more human than she thinks or something like that. I understand he's grateful for her help, but is that really a comliment? Its the same kind of Earth-centric attitude that you see in Star Trek. Why is that a compliment to an alien, to be called human? Hell, her people have mastered travel through interstellar space! If I was Donaldson I'd tell the both of them to shut up before I exteeeeerminate them! (only Dr. Who fans will get that)
Who are the aliens? Where do they come from? Why is Donaldson so shocked to find out that its a preamble to an invasion? If its not an invasion then why are the aliens here? Why do the aliens wait to 2022 to attack if they're on earth in 1992? Do they even have a name? NONE OF THIS IS ANSWERED OR EVEN ASKED!
THE TALLY:
Yeesh. You'd expect more from this movie but you won't get it. its laughable though. I think someone just wrote a basic skeleton script got Hammill in on it and made a crappy movie. Well, that's what happened, so I guess I don't 'think' that. Its good cheese though. This movie is probably required viewing for diehard Star Wars fans.