THE STORY: If you're in the mood for a spy flick and you want to see some ass kicking...well, you'd better dig out your James Bond collection 'cuz, brother, it ain't in this movie. Admittedly there are enough goofy scenes in this flick for most b-movie lovers, but there's also enough dumb crap to ruin it for you.

Dylan Pope is a special US agent. He's undergone some enhancements that make him superhuman and my first beef with this [unwrite]ing movie is they don't tell you what the enhancements are. They just refer to them as "enhancements" or say he's been "enhanced". I'd wager that they say that because Pope is played by Steve Railsback and in 1997 when this film was released (according to the IMDb) he was 49! Gotta have some reasoning for this old guy that can do things that people half his age can't!

A Serbian rebel named Yordovich has somehow acquired a super poison gas and is threatening to use it if the UN doesn't let him have his way. He 's the run of the mill megalomaniac. He wants to rule his country and all that. (Isn't there a rule that you can tell who the US is pissed at by the movies...1997...Serbia...do the math) Of course Uncle Sam sends in Agent Pope and teams him up with the beautiful Agent Delilah Shane and Agent Marks. Their mission is to destroy Yordovich's stockpile of the chemical before the end of some kind of summit. They have about 72 hours. Oh, and the government is banking this on the belief that Pope's "enhancements" make him immune to the gas. Its almost funny in a sick way, but when Pope and Marx are being briefed for their mission the chief shows them all kinds of secret gadgets they get to carry. A camera that has a flash that can temporarily blind a foe, buttons on shirts that are really grenades, and a laser pen! Seriously! Ian Fleming is probably rolling in his grave.

Once Pope and Marks hook up with Agent Delilah Shane in Serbia the trio have one gunfight after another. Pope wisely figures there's a mole in the organization. I hate to spoil things for you, my droogies, but its obvious that the mole is Marks. Obvious because Pope as the hero has to get jiggy with the big busted heroine, Delilah. Threes a crowd. Besides Marx spells it out early in the movie for us. Just watch it, you'll see. Marks fakes his death in one scene and by the way he does it you know he's the mole. I guess the word "suspense" wasn't in the script writers dictionary.

After the obligatory "I-captured-you-now-let-me-tell-you-my-plans-so-you-can-escape-from-an- ineffectual-death-trap-and-thwart-me" thing from Yordovich, Pope and Delilah are reunited with the traitor Marks. AMAZINGLY neither of them at first figures out that he's lying and that he's the mole when he tells them a cock and bull story about how he survived! And naturally he sets them up, but they survive, yada, yada, yada. Pope manages to kill about a regiment of soldiers and destroy Yordovich's striking capability. Oh, don't get excited. None of the fights are really exciting. I guess to make up for that we have the ending where Pope's superior tells Delilah she's going to Damascus and Pope is going to some other place for new missions and Pope says no he's going to Damascus.(So he can get more lovin' from Delilah) Yeah, right.

I knew I was in trouble when I saw Roger Corman's name in the credits for this crap. Mr. Corman, I don't know whether to love or hate you. You provide all of us b-movie lovers with so much fodder, yet you churn out the most godawful movies! One wonders how he sleeps at night, being such a hack. I suspect though its like the Rainier Wolfcastle character on the Simpsons once said..."On a big pile of Money!" EEK!

Athena Massey was Delilah. I only mention her because she has some pretty nice boobs.

Best Lines: "Like a tumor?"- Delilah's response to Pope saying if she stopped hating him he might grow on her. Yep, I see those two in bed soon.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Gee, I Like the way Pope tells Delilah "We're about to ambushed" while they walk through a Serbian crowd, but neither of them thinks to tell Third Wheel Guy Marks  this info. These people are professionals?

2.) While avoiding a road block Delilah causes the car to automagically jump over the barricade a la Dukes of Hazzard style. Pope exclaims "Good driving!" when she does this. I'll say! How the hell did she do that? Is this beat up car they're in secretly the Knight 2000? I hate that [unwrite]! Note to anyone who wants to make an action movie: having the hero's car jump over obstacles despite the laws of physics (and the capabilities of an average automobile) is NOT COOL. Its just...just...SILLY!

3.) I say again...these guys are supposed to be professionals? Delilah and Pope are captured and Yordovich offers them some wine. The serving girl picks up two already poured glasses of wine and gives it to them. Shane doesn't drink hers, but Pope...the Hero...does. Excuse me, Mr. Dumbass, but I've noticed Yordovich isn't drinking any...and don't you find it a little strange that he had the TWO glasses already prepared, Mr. Dumbass? Yordovich didn't force him to drink it either. The stupid alchy just drank it. some spy. Someone get James Bond.

4.) This movie has one of the longest "[unwrite] scenes" I've seen in a long time. Oh, Come on...its blatantly obvious that Delilah is going to sleep with Pope from the moment they meet. Especially after we've already seen two different scenes that give long lingering looks at her boobs...Now I don't have a problem with that. My problem is the fact that its kind of lame to have the main hero screw the female sidekick every freaking time in these kinds of movies. Also Pope looks like a friggin' saddlebag. Seriously, this guy looks like he should be playing a stuffy banker or an aging rodeo star, not a spy. I can't see what a young thang like Delilah would see in him. (unless she's just thanking him for saving her life...man, what a thank you.)But my biggest gripe is this...and I sure hope many of you agree with me...if you were a spy on a secret mission with a deadline...and the bad guys were on to you...would you actually take the time to have sex with my partner by a woodland stream knowing that countless lives would be lost if you fail?

NUDITY AND SEX:  There are good long looks at Delilah's ample bosom. There's also a pretty long love scene with her and Pope.

HUH?:  Yordovich's plan is a little hazy....he thinks he threaten people with chemical weapons and the UN won't have the balls to do anything. He could be right...but does he really think the US would just take it if he killed American troops with a chem weapon? Is he mad? That's a can of whoop ass I hope no one ever opens! Not to mention other members of the UN. Does Yordovich think say, France or Great Britain would just stand by and let their soldiers be gassed to death? The French can be pretty [unwrite]in' mean and the brits have some really huge ass soldiers...basically I think a lot of nations would say "screw the UN we're going to finish this!" and proceed to flatten a lot of Serbia.

I'm not bashing on Serbia, but considering the fact the US and the UN have satellite capabilities and are basically...well, ahead technologically compared to Serbia..wouldn't Yordovich's little chemical weapon compound have been seen, especially since he has men in the open under no cover with their equipment?

Wow! I didn't know that churches were made to be airtight in Serbia! they must be since Marks tricks Pope into a church then unleashes the gas and no one outside catches a whiff.

THE FINAL JUDGEMENT: If you want to waste some time, this is the movie for you. There's nothing special about it, but it can be a decent diversion. other than that I'd suggest a nice walk or a good game of checkers.The Inferno awards it two devils and it would have only gotten one if Ms. Massey didn't get naked.