THE STORY: This movie doesn't really deserve any attention. The only good thing about writing this is that I know how this will end up.. Let there be no mistake...this flick is going into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. It sucks. It really sucks. If you read this and then go rent it, you've wasted your money. I resent the fact that I'm expending energy in even writing about this blatant, awful, putrid, stinking, [unwrite]ty, awful, crapfilled, insulting, poorly made Blair Witch rip-off.

Its a rip off alright and it doesn't even try to be a clever rip-off. A cheapo 'student' filmmaker enlisted a few young people, college students, presumably, to stay in a haunted house for a night with video cameras in order to investigate ghosts there. The house was owned by a lady in the 1800's, where she imprisoned and tortured slaves. Thus the four...imbeciles...Ryan, Tim, Madison and Paul go there and have really fake Blair witchy type stuff happen to them. None of it is scary and its all annoying.

In the image of the Blair Witch Project the film you see is supposed to be actual footage shot by these...imbeciles...The one thing that will cross your mind is that some of the angles and shots couldn't have been done by some of them when they were alone in a room. Yeah, they could have set the camera up and stood before it, but it doesn't 'feel' right. I'd say you'd have to see it to know what I mean, but I urge you not to bother. Why give these rip-off artists any of your money. Even if you didn't like the BWP its far superior in every way to this phlegm on film.

Its not the utter crappiness of the movie that upsets me the most...its not even the characters...and I hate them with a passion for being in this movie...its the fact that this movie is such a blatant and utter attempt to cash in on the Blair Witch Project's popularity that pisses me off. I'm not even rewinding the stinking tape before I take it back. Avoid this one, my droogies. Its worse than finding a dog turd in your hamburger.

Best Lines: "How badly is it dead?"- The characters are referring to a dead bird, but that doesn't matter....I'm not sure if it was Ryan or Madison that said that but that doesn't matter. Do you realize how stupid that sounds?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) If they wanted to make a truly scary movie, they should have locked me up in this house with these nincompoops. They are so annoying, even more so than the Blair Witch crew, that I'd have killed each of them in a satisfying but sadistic way within two hours. Especially Ryan, who in the first half hour bored me to tears with the "I'm hot! Look at how big my boobs are!" schtick.

2.) Its the year 2001...and they still use "The Spring loaded Cat" in this movie to evoke a (lame) fright. Jezuz.

3.) The explorers witness what could be paranormal activity in the attic...where the haunting should actually be strongest according to legend...and what do they do when Madison starts her psychobabble communication with the spirits? They decide "We shouldn't be up here right now. Lets go downstairs." Ok, you just see crap move by unseen hands, you're in the house solely to investigate ghostly phenomena and when you see the first glimmer of evidence you decide to leave the area? Why exactly were these morons chosen for this?

NUDITY AND SEX:  none

HUH?:  Ryan seems to be completely frightened and unsettled...um, tell me again, why is she in on this mission? Well, I could say that about everyone! None of these...cretins...(I won't even try to them anything like investigators...) seem even remotely qualified to be investigating ghosts. I'm more qualified than they are! Hell, YOU'RE more qualified than they are. I don't even know who you are, but you can't possibly be less qualified.

OOH...Ryan accidentally bit into a bug hiding in her sandwich and freaks out in a real "prissy pampered girl" kind of way. Man, I'm so scared. (eyes rolling.) I hate all of these people, but I especially hate Ryan. Its a close call because I do dislike all of these characters with the intensity of a burning sun.

THE FINAL JUDGMENT: For being a complete rip-off of another movie but having no of the ingenuity involved, or any original thought in it, this flick is condemned to the pit of flesh eating zombie, where it will reap what it has sown.