Starring: Jerry Trimble, Karen Shepherd, Michel Qissi

THE STORY:  I wonder why this movie is called "Terminator Woman" when Jerry Trimble gets more screen time than his female costar, Karen Shepherd. Certainly she could have carried the movie on her own with a different script. And I have to hand it to her because she seems to be a better actress than Cynthia Rothrock.

Marsales, a slimy bean counter for international crimelord Gatelee (Michel Qissi), plans on stealing a [unwrite]load of gold bars from his boss. The problem is Gatelee finds out and pays him a visit. Before Marsales can be killed though, he escapes into the night. 3 months later I guess he was caught. He's in the custody of the LA police who send him to Africa. (If they specified a country I missed it) Marsales is to play witness so the police in this country can nail Gatelee for his crimes. (Apparently Gatelee is into everything. We must have heard at least twice that he's into everything "including white slavery"). The two cops that deliver Marsales are (Karen Shepherd) Julie A. Parish (The "A" stands for Attitude just like B.A. Baracus) and Jay Handlin (Jerry Trimble). These two have a minor grudge match going. Jay beat Julie in a karate competition but she says he cheated, and wants a rematch.

On the way from the airport to the station Gatelee's men attack the car they're in along with local cop...what ever his name was. I'll just call him Officer Friendly. Anyway, the ambush fails. Even though these guys could have turned the good guys into Swiss cheese with their automatic weapons they fail to hit anything at all, (except Officer Friendly, but he's only wounded) and Julie and Jay kick their asses. I guess even crimelords can't get good help nowadays. Along on the ambush is Myra, Gatelee's femme fatale assistant. She doesn't do anything but watch, but since she's in the movie and displayed so prominently its a given we'll learn more about her.

It doesn't take long for that either. Myra runs a club called Backlash and its owned by Gatelee. Now since they made it a point to let us know that Gatelee is into white slavery we get to see how he does it. He just kidnaps women right out of the club. Julie and Jay befriend a local kid, Charlie who offers his services as a guide. Charlie takes them to Backlash and while dancing on the crowded floor Gatelee's thugs pull Julie into a back room where they knock her out easily. They also grab another woman, Leanna. This is the Terminator Woman? Why didn't she just karate chop these assholes right away? Instead they knock her out. And this is how Gatelee enslaves women? Wouldn't soomeone sooner or later call the cops and say "my sister/wife/girlfriend is missing and the last place she was seen was the club Backlash!"? Better yet how come no one saw these women being abducted in a crowded nightclub?

When Julie comes to she's naturally irate, but the thugs have her bound and Myra is driving them to wherever they keep their captured victims. Meanwhile Jay finally notices that Julie is missing and starts to look for her. The next day he's talking to police chief who says "This isn't your jurisdiction, stay out of it.". That always happens in these kinds of movies. But Jay hooks up with the kid Charlie who tells him that Gatelee owns the club and shows him Gatelee's office building. Julie on the other hand is being held with Leanna way out of town. She manages to escape her restraints and then opens a can of whoopass on the men guarding her. Well, its only a 6 Oz. can of whoopass because these guys are stupid. First off one guy falls for the "My legs are cramping will you massage them" ploy getting close enough to her for Julie to karate him in the balls. (Too bad he didn't yell out "MY NUTS!" At least it would have made me laugh) The second guy throws a tantrum when he keeps missing while trying to grab Julie. (Amazingly she didn't crack his head open while he was having his little tizzy.) Julie and Leanna escape into the wilderness.

Now we have the filler part of the movie. Gatelee wants to know where Marsales hid the gold he stole and Jay is trying to locate Julie. They butt heads and there are naturally fight scenes between Jay and Gatelees thugs. Myra also wants the gold for herself. She's helped Gatelee thus far because she's dating Officer Friendly. Ofc. Friendly is an idiot because he must love pillow talk. He's been feeding Myra information and she's been giving it to Gatelee. (That's how they knew where and when to try and ambush Marsales.) Myra visits Marsales in the local jail and gets him to tell her where the gold is. She goes after it. Meanwhile, Jay makes a deal with Gatelee...he'll trade Marsales for Julie. Unbeknownst to either men Julie and Leanna have escaped and made it to a private airfield belonging to Gatelee. Julie dispatches the guards and forces the chopper pilot to fly them to....the middle of a lake! (How they knew to do this I don't know) Myra is in a boat there getting the gold from the bottom where Marsales must have hidden it. Gatelee meets with Jay and the big fight begins. After busting up his men, Jay and Marsales have a long punishing karate fight in a cave. While this is going on Julie has jumped from the helicopter into Myra's boat and they have a karate fight. Its not as long or brutal looking as Jay's fight, but I assume ladies that getting kicked in the boobies by two feet must hurt like hell.

Speaking of fighting women, Gatelee brings a masked woman disguised as Julie to the meet with Jay. Eventually Jay has to fight her before he can fight Gatelee. He whooped up on her pretty damned quick too....I guess Jay doesn't mind smacking women around. Then again she was a martial artist, too. Does everyone in Africa know Karate or something?

The fights in this movie weren't bad and that's the main attraction to this kind of flick. There were a few bad parts where they used slow motion to show Julie kicking some thug ass that I didn't like, and a few times where I could tell they actors weren't actually hitting each other. Still, I didn't expect Enter the Dragon type action so I won't complain much. Shepherd seems to have more acting talent than Cynthia Rothrock, as I said before but her moves aren't as graceful. Still I think its a shame that she wasn't featured more in the movie. She had enough charm that I hope she made another movie and that I can find it somewhere, someday.

Best Lines: "I'm not unoriginal....I'll have a vodka martini....shaken, not stirred.""- Jay, as he tries in vain to impress Julie.

"Thanks for the gun."- Julie when a thug tosses his gun to the ground wanting to fight her barehanded. She kicks him in the nuts and picks up the gun.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) I can understand why Gatelee's pissed at his men for not killing Marsalis the first time around. He even tells them "You had automatic weapons!". They sure did and these cretins only hit one guy and it was only a flesh wound. (amazing how good guys only get flesh wounds).

2.) Jeez, I wonder if that actress got paid extra for that shot right up her shirt into her ass. I could see her [unwrite]ing uterus almost.

3.) What was the point of the one thug with the nunchucks? As soon as he sees that Julie has escaped with Leanne he runs away and throws them in the bushes! He doesn't even try to help his friend with the sword. And why are these guys armed like that? Wouldn't a gun be a little more helpful?

4.) Gatelee has thugs on dirt bikes waiting outside just in case someone he throws out can be attacked. No wonder he's into crime. How else can you afford to pay a bunch of goons to just sit there on a dirt bike all day?

5.) I'm beginning to rue the day that Mel Gibson did that "roll on the ground and shoot" thing in Lethal Weapon. It was kinda cool....once. But here, Julie leaps into the air (it looks funny too, like when Superman used to do it in those old fifties episodes.) and rolls on the ground when a bunch of guys fire at her with automatic weapons! Not only do they manage to not hit her from twenty or so feet away she manages to plug them! For Pete's sake....can we look up that other ladies skirt again?

6.) They missed a great opportunity for a cheesy one-liner in this flick. Jay kicks Gatelee onto a sharp rock impaling him. (Stalagtite? Stalagmite? I forget which ones are pointing up from the ground) When the other cops show up and ask Jay where Gatelee is he just says "He's dead.", when he should have said "He's stuck.". Well, maybe if Ah-Nuld said that it would have been cool.

NUDITY AND SEX:  none

HUH?:  Why does Jay take this little kid, Charlie, with him? Its bad enough that he's putting himself in danger, but bringing a twelve year old along for the ride is unforgivable. Maybe if the kid had a wristwatch that commanded a giant robot I could see it, but as it is...it makes Jay out to be a pretty stupid cop.

If Marsales knows who the evil chick Myra is why didn't he say something before? And exactly how does she have access to the entire police station? By virtue of dating a cop? The cops in Africa have some pretty lax regulations.

Karen Shepherd is a good enough looking woman, but I wonder how she can breathe in that top they have her wearing. Its obviously there to give guys a lot of cleavage to look at, but it looks like its crushing her boobs. Then again, it is a cheap shot to dress her like that, Her first scene gives a good gratuitous look at her cleavage. This is made only worse by the scene where Jay and another cop stare at her ass. (The camera takes a good long leer at her walking away.)

What kind of line is this...."You expect me to believe that?! Actually I do." As silly as it sounds Gatelee mouths it. If you believe him why say that?

How high up was that helicopter? I don't think Leanna could really have heard Julie shouting "Leanna, Jump!!" and that Leanna, who has been frightened out of her wits during most of the movie, would just jump from a great height into the water.

THE FINAL JUDGMENT: If Karen Shepherd is another karate flick and anyone knows about it, let me know. It'll take more from her to be my number one karate chick...after all, I'd spend my whole paycheck for a date with Cynthia Rothrock (I just think she's so cute) but Cindy might have some competition. There's just something about a woman that can kick your ass that really turns me on. If you're just a die hard karate flick fan, this movie will do if there's nothing else on the shelf. Its not "A" list material, but it'll work in a pinch. It can also be found under the title "Eliminator Woman".