THE STORY:  Any scene in this movie with the Warlock is at least a little cool automatically....but the other parts...oooh, they just kind of suck. That's probably because its fun to watch Julian Sands commit horrible acts with absolutely no remorse, while the heroes...two teenagers in a ridiculously small town border on really [unwrite]ing annoying rather than heroic or even interesting.

In this sequel to Warlock, the evil Warlock is reborn during the time of an approaching lunar and solar eclipse. Such an eclipse only occurs once ever thousand or so years and during this time the devil can escape from hell and put a cloven hoof up mankind's collective asses. Suprisingly its not the Catholic church that is tasked to stop the Warlock from bringing old Scratch to Earth...its a group of Druids!

If that sounds interesting, you haven't seen these druids yet.

The Druids are a bunch of old guys living in a really dinky...and I mean smaller than Mayberry...town somewhere in the western US. The leader of these druids is Will. He has a teenage son named Kenny. (No South Park jokes, please) Kenny's sweetheart is Samantha (called "Sam" most of the time) but of course there's also a Big Dumb Jerk guy named Andy that also has eyes for Sam and hassles Kenny all of the time. This is mainly because everyone in this really small town, Logan Valley,  (Don't they make salad dressing or some other nature crap there? Heehee...oh forget it...) knows that Will, Franks, and the other old guy are druids. They equate druids with devil worshippers so they're not the most popular guys around. Unknown to almost everyone else though, the local reverend, Ted Ellison, who happens to be Sam's pop, used to be a druid too! In the past he was good friends with Will and the others, but broke from the group when his wife and will's Wife died in childbirth.

These druids have in their possession 2 sacred stones. There are four others spread out all over the US. The Warlock needs to collect them all within six days so he can release Satan on the solar eclipse. That's when Kenny and Samantha discover their destinies. Fate has made them Druid Warriors, and they have superpowers that they must use to fight the Warlock, who is of course heading straight for their little podunk town. There's a downside to being a druid Warrior...well, another one besides having to fight the Warlock...you have to die first! Will shoots Kenny and then he and Franks bring him back to life and explain things to him. They begin his training so he'll be ready to face the Warlock in a few days.

The Warlock on the other hand is kicking ass and taking names on his trek across the US. (Hmmm...the Warlock comes back to life in New York City...I wonder if that's supposed to say something about the Big Apple?) He finds people that own the other stones, and of course these people have no idea what the stones really are. Also they're always people that are pretty much assholes. I suppose this helps to soften the blow when the Warlock does really mean ass [unwrite] to them. The Warlock has one stone and after dropping a fashion designer through a skylight, turning a dickhead art dealer into an ugly statue and trapping a carnie jerk in a mirror he has four. Then he goes straight to Logan Valley.

Samantha discovers that she too is a Druid Warrior and her father is naturally upset about it. He doesn't want his daughter involved in what must come so she stabs herself to death. This forces Rev. Ellison to take her body to Will and Franks so she can be resurrected as Super Samantha. The night before the Warlock attacks, Kenny and Samantha are talking in a shady grove (and well, screwing, but they are teenagers) when Andy shows up in his monster tuck and hassles them. Samantha uses her druid powers to scare Andy away...he runs, leaving the truck. I'm only bringing that up because its important later on.

The Warlock arrives and the battle begins...and its a pretty fast fight too. Kenny faces the man of evil and gets his ass kicked within the space of about two minutes. Even the Warlock screams to the heavens "Is this the best you can do?!" I don't blame him. With Kenny injured and impaled on a pole Samantha...who has the two last stones, lures the warlock out of town and back to the grove. The Warlock catches up with her and she doesn't last too much longer than Kenny, although I think he put up a better fight. The Warlock quickly has her chained to the truck the Andy left parked there. Luckily for Kenny, his father used his druid healing powers to save him and he arrives and joins the battle again. The Warlock once again defeats him just as the Solar eclipse begins. The Warlock begins to open the magic doorway that will allow Lucifer to come to earth when Kenny has a revelation....the druids told him that light is anathema to the stones and the doorway and all that....and its an eclipse...so in tandem with Samantha he uses his druid Jedi-like powers to turn on the high powered headlights on the truck. The light disrupts the doorway, sending the devil back to hell! With he doorway closed the Warlock attempts to kill Kenny for revenge with a druid knife...the only weapon that can actually kill the warlock...but once again the two teen warriors use their powers to turn the knife on the Warlock. In typical gross-out movie fashion, he melts away. The danger is over...for now.

As I said, this movie was fun during any scene with the Warlock in it. In the first Warlock movie the Warlock was evil and powerful, but vulnerable to pain and hurt. He acted without guilt or remorse but always in a sneaky way, trying to avoid his pursuers. In this movie the Warlock seems a little bit more sadistic...and powerful. He also doesn't seem to be concerned with secrecy. He simply steamrolls his way through his opposition, with a cold, evil confidence which definitely made him worth watching. On the flipside the whole druid/ small town thing got on my nerves...especially Franks. Played by R.G. Armstrong, he just grated on my nerves with his down-home attitude and voice. The only good thing about Kenny Played by Chris Young was that he looked like an average teenager instead of a supermodel....but he looked so dorky I almost wanted the Warlock to kick his butt. Kenny also had a bad habit of keeping his mouth open a lot which made him look retarded. Really. It pissed me off and oh, I will take that in account when the judgement of the movie comes. Paula Marshall was Samantha...I just want to know if those were here real eyebrows. Yow! She looked like a freakin' Romulan!

Best Lines: "Yes, and during that time God's outta rotation and if the Devil's child, the Warlock, succeeds in releasing his daddy the whole goddamn planet is [unwrite] outta luck! "-Franks, as he explains the Warlock's mission to Kenny....boy oh Boy, does that sound stupid..."Gods outta Rotation"? What the hell does that mean? What bible has this guy been reading? What does he think, God is an asteroid? Yeesh!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Logan Valley is a dump! The town looks like an old west set on a movie lot. (well, it probably was) But they don't have any law enforcement whatsoever! Or a mayor that I can see! Rev. Ellison seems to be the town's leader and when there's any kind of trouble there's not one cop, sheriff or boy scout seen! What a crappy place to live!

2.) With the exception of the art dealer the others that the Warlock kills were pretty stupid. Even if he wasn't a Warlock, Paula Dare (Joanna Pacula) was foolish to go up onto a skyscraper roof with an unknown man dressed all in black. If he was a nutcase, which he must have seemed to have been, he might've killed her anyway. The carnie was just stupid, period. I'm not going to screw around with a guy that I just saw kill an midget in cold blood! The art dealer at least had a reason to fall for the Warlock's trick...he was just plain greedy.

3.) Exactly how did Will and franks get Kenny's dead, bullet riddled body into the store in the middle of this tiny town in order to bring him back to life WITHOUT BEING SEEN!? Add Samantha to that list, too....Rev. ellison must have had to carry her body with a big ass carving knife sticking out of it down the street in BROAD DAYLIGHT!

NUDITY AND SEX:   Kenny and Samantha have a roll in the grass. A little nudity during the fashion show scene.

HUH?:  When Kenny learns that the Warlock only has six days to get the stones and open the doorway to hell he suggests they run for it. Will shoots this idea down. Why? If the warlock can't open the doorway after the six days are over why not avoid him for six days and only fight him if they have to? Isn't the whole idea to hold off Armageddon? Its at least worth consideration but Will acts as if its the dumbest idea on earth. Yeah, like expecting a 16 year old kid with two or three days training in Druid magic to beat the devil's son is any better.

Gee, if the stones are the key, why not seal them in a box and drop them in the deepest part of the ocean? Just an idea....

If Will and the others knew that Kenny and Samantha were druid warriors at birth and that they had to be killed and brought back to life so they could stop the Warlock why wait until they have only a few days to train them to begin the training? Were they hoping the Warlock would take a raincheck this millenium. "Sorry, chaps, I'm a bit tied up in Hell this century. I'll try to pop around in the next thousand years to bring Armageddon."

Kids sure will believe anything! Samantha buys into the whole "must die and come back to life" thing pretty easily. When I was sixteen there's no way I'd plunge a huge kitchen knife into my gut just because someone told me I was a Druid Warrior. No way, Jose'. I'd require written documents, a priest, the pope, the president and a genuine miracle sighting before I'd do that.

THE TALLY: It really depends on how much you like the Warlock to judge this movie. Its a sequel so its not as good as the original by default. While it doesn't suck its not a great supernatural thriller by any standard. Still, with a grain of salt and the understanding that its just a "lets make some money off of the popularity of the first film" flick, its enjoyable enough. Except for Kenny and his stupid slack-jawed expression.