Doctor Who

THE STORY: Being a Doctor Who fan, I was overjoyed when I learned in 1996 that Fox was making a TV movie about the Doctor. I was anxious when I found out that they hoped to launch a brand new Dr. Who series. Knowing that you should think that I was disappointed that the series never materialized. Well, I would be but I probably wouldn't like it if it was like the movie. I'm going to do my best to explain this, but I'll have to explain what Dr. Who is.

The TV series, Dr. Who was aired in Britain in 1963 and went on until 1989. Its the longest running science fiction show to exist to this date. The show is about a time travelling alien from planet Gallifrey called only "The Doctor". The Doctor journeys through time and space in a machine called the TARDIS. (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) A TARDIS can assume any shape as a sort of cloaking device, but the cloaking mechanism on the Doctor's TARDIS is faulty so it is stuck in the shape of Police Box. (A sort of british phone booth to us "yanks".) Although the Doctor seems to end up on Earth a lot he has adventures in other parts of the universe. The Doctor also regenerates from time to time which has allowed various actors to portray him over the years. Most american viewers think of the Doctor as the tall, curly haired dude with the long scarf, but there have been other Doctors, like:

William Hartnell- Hartnell was the First Doctor at the beginning of the series. He was an old man, and pretty cranky too. When Hartnell was playing the Doctor he had a granddaughter, Susan, that travelled with him.

Patrick Troughton- When William Hartnell became to ill to continue playing the Doctor he regenerated into Mr. Troughton. Troughton's Doctor was a hobo-like character that played a piccolo or something. I've only seen one of his episodes.

Jon Pertwee- Pertwee's tenure as the Doctor had most of his adventures on Earth. Pertwee's Doctor was stranded there by his own people, the Time Lords. Those were some good episodes. Pertwee's Doctor was a bit of a dandy and more physical than the other incarnations. (He would fight using "venusian karate") While living on Earth the Doctor joined a secret organization called UNIT and helped defend the earth from aliens, undersea monsters and his greatest enemy, a rival Time Lord called the Master.

Tom Baker- This is the Doctor most of us remember. Baker was the first Doctor I ever on saw on TV. He had this long 20 foot scarf. Baker's Doctor was clownish, but clever. To many people he is the ultimate Doctor. Baker's adventures took the Doctor back into space, but he still visited Earth a lot. Personally its a toss up between Baker and Pertwee for me.

Peter Davidson- Davidson was the youngest man to play the Doctor. His Doctor was more of an older, but charming brother to his travelling companions.

Colin Baker- Ugh. I have only seen a few of Colin Baker's episodes, by choice. In a deliberate attempt to make the Doctor seem more alien and not like his earlier incarnations, this Doctor was arrogant, self centered and boorish. I wasn't too thrilled with Colin Baker's acting either. His main travelling companion was Peri, played by Nicola Bryant. Ms. Bryant is a beautiful woman and she was squeezed into the tightest outfits available so you'd know it too.

Sylvester McCoy-McCoy was the last actor to play the Doctor on the TV series. I missed a lot of his episodes when they aired back home (Desert Storm kept me busy) McCoy was breathing some new life into the Doctor when the series was cancelled. His Doctor seemed to have secrets and was more mysterious than the others, but still likable. The episode "Silver Nemesis" alluded that the Doctor was not what he seemed to be or who he even claimed to be. If that was ever resolved on the series I hope someone emails me and explains it.

As the movie begins we find that the Master, the Doctor's mortal enemy has been captured put on trial by the Daleks. For his crimes the Master is executed. His final request was that the Doctor return his remains to their home planet of Gallifrey.

The Doctor locks the Master's remains away in his TARDIS and begins his journey. But the Master has cheated death before. As the Doctor relaxes during the trip the Master's remains (which consist of a pool of gooey crap) breaks free and sabotoge the TARDIS forcing the Doctor to make an emergency landing in San Francisco on December 30, 1999. The Doctor requires an atomic clock to repair his ship, but the second he steps out of the TARDIS he's gunned down by two rival street gangs. The gang members flee when they hear a police sirem, except for one, Chang Lee. Lee calls an ambulance for the Doctor.

At the hospital Dr. Grace Holloway inadvertantly kills the Doctor when she becomes confounded by his alien physiology. Lee claiming to be a friend of the Doctors takes a bag of his things (including the key to the TARDIS) and flees. The Master's remains infect the ambulance driver and possess his body. He then goes in search of the Doctor. The Master can only remain in this body for a short time and he wants the Doctor's body and its remaining regenerations. (Time Lords can regenerate 12 times...the Master has used all of his lives)

Regeneration is exactly what happens to the Doctor's body. In the morgue the Doctor changes from Sylvester McCoy and into Paul McGann, coming back to life in the process. The morgue attendant conveniently passes out when he sees the supposed-to-be-dead Doctor rise, allowing the Doctor to escape into the rest of the hospital...which is as far as he goes. Often when the Doctor regenerates he suffers a temporary memory loss and this time is no exception. Not knowing who he is or whats going on the Doctor steals some clothes and wanders around the hospital ALL NIGHT. Things seem dire for the Time Lord until he sees Grace leaving the hospital. His jumbled memories allow him to recognize Grace as the doctor that operated on him. Grace has quit her job there because her boss has destroyed the X-rays that show that the Doctor had two hearts. The hospital doesn't want any bad press for his death and with no body or x-rays no one needs to know he was even there.

The Doctor, still suffering amnesia convinces Grace that he's not an earthling and that he is indeed the same man she operated on the night before. Grace takes him to her home where his memories slowly begin to return. Meanwhile the Master tracks down Lee and infiltrates the Doctor's TARDIS. The Master tells Lee that the Doctor is a villian that has stolen his body and promises Lee riches if he'll help him get the Doctor. The Master shows Lee the "Eye of Harmony", the power source of the TARDIS. The Eye can only be opened by human eyes staring into it. (the Master's transformation has made his Eyes all wierd and snakelike....he wears dark glasses to conceal them) Using Lee the Master gets the Eye to open and learns the location and present appearance of the Doctor. At the same time the Doctor's memory returns!

This is a good thing, but the Doctor begins raving about the fact that he is a Time Lord, and that the Eye of Harmony has been opened and its power will destroy the Earth if it isn't closed.This naturally scares the [unwrite] out of Grace who locks him out of her house. While the Doctor tries to convince her that he's not insane, the Master and Lee go in an ambulance to Grace's house. She's called for one thinking the Doctor is a lunatic. The Doctor willingly gets into the ambulance with Grace and the disguised Master. His thoughts are on how to get the atomic clock he needs to close the Eye and repair his TARDIS. If he doesn't the Earth will be consumed by the Eye by midnight! (and its New Years Eve 1999...Y2K, look out!)

It doesn't take the Doctor too long to realize that the ambulance attendant is really the Master in a new body. He and Grace escape the ambulance during a traffic jam and commandeer a police motorcycle. The Master and Lee are in hot pursuit, but the Doctor evades them. They make it to some scientific expo where the most accurate atomic clock made by man is about to activated at midnight. The Doctor steals the very small but vital component he needs from it, while a party goes on downstairs in the building. Unfortunately the Master and Lee arrive and almost catch them. Escaping yet again, the Doctor and Grace get back to the TARDIS. Hastily the Doctor begins his repairs but theres not enough power left to close the Eye of Harmony. The only recourse is for the Doctor to somehow reroute the power in the Eye and travel back in time to a point just before the Eye was opened. This somehow will nullify the effect the opened Eye is having and save the Earth. (confused yet?....I am and I like Dr. Who!)

The Master and Lee arrive at the TARDIS and the Master somehow takes over Grace's mind. She knocks the Doctor out and when he awakens he's all bound up in the TARDIS while the Master begins his preparations to steal his body. The Doctor tells Lee that the Master is not really his friend...the Master is trying to steal his body and destroy the Earth. At first Lee, who seems kind of thick, acts like he doesn't care. But when the Master himself makes a few verbal slips Lee realizes he's been lied to. He refuses to help the Master any longer and the Master kills him on the spot. The Master begins his body snatching process, but in doing so he must release Grace from his control. With his waning strength the Doctor tells Grace to run to the control room and reroute the power so the TARDIS will dematerialize into the time vortex. Grace does this and the TARDIS launches itself into the continuum, saving the Earth. Then Grace interrupts the body snatching process and begins to free the bound Doctor. In a rage the Master kills Grace before the Doctor can stop him. A scuffle begins as the Doctor wrestles with his arch enemy and of course the Master loses....he falls into the Eye of Harmony and is destroyed by the power source.

The Doctor travels back in time to point before the Master killed Grace and Lee, and somehow this restores them to life. (I don't really buy that, but read on) With the danger averted, and New Years 2000 in full swing, the Doctor returns Grace and Lee to Earth. He lets Lee keep the bag of gold that the Master bribed him with and Grace turns him down when he asks her to go with him. Alone again, the Time Lord returns to his TARDIS and continues his sojourn through time and space.

WHEW....Okay, I have to say this. This movie pissed me off in a way. Ever notice how Hollywood can [unwrite] up a great TV series if they get their paws on it? The TV show had a low budget and cheap special effects. But it was well written...it didn't depend on glitzy effects and mindless action scenes. The Doctor often resolved universe-shattering crises without violence! Every different actor that played the Doctor did it with a unique style but you always realized he was an alien...he just seemed strange. This movie tried to appeal to an american audience by having him fall in love with Grace! UGH! The Doctor doesn't have a libido! If he did he would have been all over Leela, Tegan or Romana during the TV show!

But I have to admit, I'm a saddened that the movie didn't jumpstart a new series of Doctor Who adventures. If done well, Paul McGann would have made a good Doctor. As the Master, Eric Roberts might have been okay....I'm certain if the series had commenced somehow the Master would have been bought back. Oh well....the only thing I really can do is apologize on behalf of all American Who fans to the UK for the warped hollywood ideas that made it into this movie. It wasn't exactly bad, but it does leave a lousy after taste.

Best Lines: "Great...I finally meet the right guy and he's from another planet!"-Grace says this and it is the one line that makes me groan the most.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) Okay, we get it, Grace likes opera. You know I'm so sick of  seeing people in the movies at the opera with a tear running down their face as if they are so completely moved that they have to cry. Well thats how we first meet Grace. I can't even place a distinct memory of where I've seen parts like that in movies I just know its kind of cliche and it bugs me. Then again Grace bugs me.

2.) In the TV series it was established that the Doctor can live in a vacuum for about 8 or so minutes.(In the episode "Four to Doomsday" the Doctor did a spacewalk without a spacesuit) why does he panic so much when Grace  puts him under in the operation room? Can't he just hold his breath? Yeah, he's injured and hurt but the Doctor has been in pretty bad situations before and never panicked. Still I suppose this scene was needed in order to get on with his regeneration.

3.) So the police taped up the area where the Doctor was shot as a crime scene but didn't haul the TARDIS anywhere? Its a big freaking blue british police box! They ain't even used in Britian anymore! Why isn't it at least guarded by a cop? Thats got to be a conundrum for the police and I'm sure they'd want to  know how and why it's in an alley in San Francisco.

4.) When the Doctor finally regains his memory he kisses Grace. Now this is so totally unlike the Doctor it turned off a lot of fans, myself included. The Doctor has never shown any interest in women or sex and that was part of his appeal. It made him seem a little more alien, as he is supposed to be. After all the Doctor has had some pretty fine female companions in the long run of the series. Nyssa, Tegan, Jo, Peri, etc. They were some really fine ass women! They usually wore really tight clothes too, leaving little to the imagination  but the Doctor never showed any interest in them beyond being friends. The fact that he has a minor love affair with Grace shows that no matter how popular a foriegn show might be to be americans, let Hollywood get their hands on it and they'll screw it up.

5.) The Doctor seems to be giving a lot of hints about people's futures in this movie. In the TV show the Doctor was always careful not to do that. Changing history was against the laws of time. But in this movie he keeps dropping hints on things to come. Even stranger than that, the Doctor travels back in time just enough after the Master kills Lee and Grace to bring them back to life. What? That contradicts a lot about the show and the Doctor! In the episode "Earthshock" one of the Doctor's friends, Adric, is killed. The Doctor's other companions, Tegan and Nyssa beg the Doctor to go back in time a few minutes before Adric's death so they can save him. Even though the Doctor is torn apart by Adric's demise he makes it plain and in no uncertain terms that he can't do that because it would change history and break one of the laws of time! It just doesn't gel with me how the Doctor would refuse to go back to save his close friend but in this movie he does it to save two people he just met yesterday!

6.) Grace turns the Doctor's offer to go with him down. Is she insane? If a friendly, time travelling alien asked me to go have adventure with him across time and space I'd be off in a minute. I mean whats my boss going to do about it? Its not like Grace had a lot to nail her down. She quit her job and her live in boyfriend left her.

NUDITY AND SEX: None.

HUH?: The Doctor isn't any stronger than a normal person. So how'd he knock the morgue door off its hinges with his bare hands? I don't expect a morgue to be likeFort Knox, but I'm certain the doors aren't made of balsa wood.

Why does Grace throw away the cops gun after she and the Doctor hijack the motorcycle? It would be simple to just shoot the Master!

When the fire alarm is going off in the building people are scrambling to get out...except for the janitor. He's still mopping the floor! Talk about dedication!

Lee seems fairly willing to go along with the Master! Even after the Master admits to the captive Doctor  in front of him that he's always wanted to see the earth destroyed, and thats what is going to happen in a few minutes! Now, Lee doesn't seem like a completely stupid person so why doesn't he get with the program? When he first meets the Master the villian threatens to kill him...its obvious after he throws in with him that the Master is kind of ruthless. The Doctor has been saying how evil the Master is all along and the Master possesses Grace and makes her attack the Doctor. hmmm...ain't that enough clues to tell this nimrod that the Master is the bad guy here? Lee's reasoning is since he doesn't have any family or anything it may be better to go with the Master and be rewarded. Now thats far more cold blooded than I think most people are. I might do some pretty [unwrite]ed up things for enough money but the destruction of all mankind? I'm not THAT greedy!

Hopefully some Dr. Who experts can clue me in on this one. I thought the Eye of Harmony was located on the Doctor's home planet of Gallifrey. How'd it get to be inside the TARDIS? Was there any TV episode that explains this or is just something that the writers whipped up?

THE TALLY: This is a movie that only Doctor Who fans are going to like. So if you don't like Doctor Who don't bother. You'll only get mad when you watch it. Well, if you like Doctor Who you might get mad, too. But Dr. Who doesn't go into the pit....he is a Time Lord after all.