Starring: Philip Sayer, Bernice Stegers, Maryam D'abo    Directed by: Harry Bromley Davenport

THE STORY:  I don't know what the movies ultimate goal was. Maybe you have to a brit to get it. I'm going to have to track down my old friend Cynthia and ask her if she's seen it.

Young Tony witnesses his father, Sam, being abducted by aliens. three years pass and Tony still misses his father and isn't too crazy about his mother, Rachel's, new boyfriend Joe. Tony seems to get most of his quality spent with the French nanny, Analise. But lo and behold, one dark night a UFO lands in the woods and an alien creature disembarks. The creature quickly proceeds to kill the first poor shmuck stupid enough to go near it and then rapes his girlfriend. The girlfriend, now impregnated with the alien's seed gives birth to a full grown Sam. Ladies, if you though giving birth to a large baby was painful this scene of a full grown man coming out of a chick's naughty bits might give you pause.

Sam returns home, and it doesn't take too long for us to see that he's not the same as he was. Sam claims he doesn't remember anything about the missing years, but Tony is thrilled that his father back. In a creepy scene Sam infects young Tony with alien DNA. This somehow gives the boy powers. He brings a clown doll and a brit version of a GI Joe to life...and life-size!

While Rachel goes to the cabin where the abduction began with Sam to help jog his memory, Tony and his 'toys' knock out, impregnate and cocoon poor Analise. (and kill her visiting boyfriend!) Analise thus imprisoned spews alien eggs into a tub full of green goo.

Meanwhile Joe discovers that Sam may be responsible for the murder of the girl he impregnated. He goes to the cabin to save Rachel...who by now knows something is strange since Sam has begun to change into an alien thingie. However Tony arrives at Joe's place with a cock and bull story of how Analise dropped him off. So Joe unwittingly takes the boy with him to the cabin. This movie is weird folks, and there's no happy ending. Joe gets killed when the alien screams at him, (Don't ask me, that's what happened) Tony starts to change into an alien too, and Sam takes the boy off in a spaceship leaving Rachel all alone.

I just don't get it. What was the alien's agenda? To come get the boy? Was it Sam changed somehow, or was it an alien impersonating him? Why leave the eggs on earth that Analise produced? If its an invasion plan its a shoddy one. (Plus, I've always argued that if Aliens can get to us from wherever they come from they don't need to sneak around to conquer us. The one thing Battlefield Earth might have done right is the Psychlo's claim that they defeated Earth's armies in 9 minutes with their overwhelming technology.) 

The movie looked kinda dark to me. I had a hard time seeing what was going on and it wasn't really suspenseful or scary. It might be just me, but the movie seemed slow. It could of course just be the great British reserve, but the movie was pretty dull considering the outlandish premise. Heck, I only rented it because I'd never seen it before. 

Best Lines: "Bitch."- The apartment building caretaker is pissed that Rachel asks him for a favor.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:

1.) If I passed a crazy weird ass mutant looking thing on country road at night I can guarantee you I wouldn't stop my vehicle to get out and see if I could get a better look at it. If its a wild animal its dangerous enough, case closed...if its a mutant wild animal I don't want to be near the damned thing...if it just happens to be an alien space creature let Fox Mulder handle it.

2.) Man where did they get the music for this movie? Actually I think I know! A Dr. Who episode! I can't pinpoint which one, but hey, any Dr. Who fans reading this...if you've seen this doesn't this sound like the music from say an episode like "Kinda" or something?

3.) No one seems to surprised when Sam returns. They all just act like Sam ran out on his family three years ago and now he's back. But his own son says he was abducted by aliens. That's a far fetched solution, but I think I'd be demanding more answers from this guy. Especially before I let him sleep in my house! Why doesn't Rachel consult the authorities or have Sam go to a hospital or something? He says he doesn't remember anything but he was missing for three years!

4.) Imagine this...you're in the sack with your significant other gettin' it on....and then suddenly the person mutates into...I don't know....a monster-alien type thingie. You manage to get out of the bed. Now do you just stand there or do you run like Jesse Owens?

NUDITY AND SEX:  Analise has sex and is seen topless, Rachel has sex, but we don't see her goodies.

HUH?:  Considering how the old lady mashed the snake to a pulp with no problem she couldn't have been that scared of it.

Is that an American M16 the brit alien soldier toy is carrying? I can't tell.

Did I miss something? What the hell was the alien after? The little boy? I don't get....I damn sure don't want to watch the whole movie over again to get it either.

How did Tony get to Joe's studio? He's too young to drive and Analise didn't bring him. I guess his newfound alien powers did it....

THE FINAL JUDGMENT: This flick is definitely for B-movie lovers only. If you like sci-fi movies and don't mind cheap ones than you'll probably want to check this one out. Just make sure you have a pot of coffee ready. Though the movie is only 84 minutes long it damn sure felt like it took all day to watch.