That Sex Crazed Cat in the Hat!

I'll be honest with you....I'm a complainer. There are many trivial matters that just get under my skin and I'll rant for hours about them. But in my own defense I know deep in my heart that I'm belly-achin' about nothing. I know that my complaining isn't really gonna change a damned thing. Its just my way of blowing off steam. I could go on and on about spam, for instance. But I'm still going to receive it from time to time, despite the software I have in place to stop it. I guess I find it amusing in some ways. So I don't begrudge people for complaining about some things. But then there are some things that just ain't worth it. There are some subjects that people bitch about that are just so asinine and stupid that I can scarcely believe it. Observe the picture below.

Mrs. Dante came home a week or so ago and showed this wrapper to me. Apparently the Post Exchange (PX) pulled all of the Cat in the Hat gummie candies off of the shelf because someone thought the wrapper looked....well, bad. Specifically, that one of the shapes you see there were phallic. Hell, I'll come out and say it. Someone complained that the orange gummie looked like a dick! (I thought the red one looked more a dong, but whatever.)

I'll tell ya, droogs, I was so shocked about this I scanned it and emailed it to my fellow rogues to get their opinions. Tell me, please, anyone, tell me....do you find this wrapper THAT offensive? When I say the PX pulled them from the shelves I don't just mean the one here on Fort Dix....I mean ALL OVER the world they yanked them. That means someone....perhaps more than one person moaned and groaned enough that the powers that be decided to not sell them. Now I don't think that children should be subjected to looking at wieners, but come the F*** on! Its The Cat in the Hat! If your kid gets a bag of these gummies and thinks they look like a bag of chewy fruit flavored penises your kid had issues before the candy fell into his hands! This bag of candy is not going to cause little kids to start playing doctor! What the hell is wrong with some people?

I really really really want to meet the first person that complained about this. Not to argue with them, not to debate whether the Cat in the mother [unwrite]in' hat looks like a dick with balls on the bag, but to laugh at them. What kind of nutcase makes a major deal about this? Kids aren't going to think it looks like a wanker and who cares if adults do? If you're old enough to think that in a rational way you probably just need to get laid!

Man.....ridiculous. A few years ago they were trying to get all of the bookstores on military posts to stop selling Playboy and Penthouse. Even though the magazines were put high on a shelf out of children's reach, covered so you couldn't see more than the title, and bagged so they couldn't be opened. Yet no one complained about Cosmopolitan magazine and rags like it....even though they were in plain sight with scantily clad women on the cover and blurbs like "Make your SEX LIFE SIZZLE" and "25 Ways to make him/her moan in ecstasy!" .

What's next? Boycotting Hostess Twinkies because of the phallic shape and the creamy white filling?

Comments? Email the Inferno!