Teagan Clive:

Actress, Writer, Body Builder....Goddess; and Headmistress of the Inferno!

Photo by John Balik

Teagan Clive, actress, body-builder, and writer. Teagan contacted me via email a few months ago about some very old reviews I had done about movies she appeared in. I probably made her a little upset, but in my own defense I'll say that they were some of the first reviews I'd ever done, way way back when the Inferno was hosted by Geocities. And I'll admit I'm not really fond or proud of the older Inferno reviews. But anyway, Teagan is a good sport....she graciously sent me a photo of herself, and a copy of an interview she had that answered my questions of what she had been doing lately.

I won't profess to know Teagan...but I will say that in communication with her I've found that she is a highly intelligent, hard working and intriguing woman. If I wasn't married I'd admit to having a bit of a crush on her. I think she's kind of hot and she's definitely cool as hell.

I think its a shame that she was never put in a movie with her as the star. She was the best thing in Interzone. She'd be great in an action movie! I for one think Teagan deserves a shot at movie stardom! She's obviously worked hard in her body building and someone with that kind of determination and will is worthy of praise. Unless you didn't know, exercise is hard! It takes discipline to do it and Teagan has that in abundance.

I sincerely hope Teagan Clive will grace my TV screen and DVD player again in the future. And the Inferno hereby nominates her to the title of Head Mistress of Dante's Inferno. Teagan, we salute you!

 

Teagan Talks

by Andrulla Blanchette

WHAT ARE ARE YOUR FONDEST MEMORIES FROM YOUR HARDCORE BODYBUILDING YEARS?

Dropping 75 pounds for my first screen test, the sequel to “Conan”. Sharing a pot of tea with Bob Dylan as he read from Longfellow before an ab workout. Practicing sword-fighting with Arnold and, later, sneaking him the script to “Total Recall” to read after his manager had rejected it. Body-guarding singer David Lee Roth in New York City in the dead of winter wearing only a white bikini (me, not him). Celebrating New Year’s Eve with Hugh Hefner and his bunnies at the Playboy Mansion. Racing through the streets of Rome in an open jeep seated between the Barbarian Brothers who crushed me at every sharp turn. Munching hamburgers with Jesse Ventura. Seeing the world through the eyes of the late Don Ross, Mr. America.

WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER COMPETE IN A PHYSIQUE SHOW?

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR ACTING CREDITS?

I worked 5 years to help make 10 movies. I like to think that my appearance in the music video “California Girls” with David Lee Roth blew down the doors of Hollywood for Amazonia to follow.

DURING YOUR ACTING CAREER, YOUR BODYWEIGHT HIT 220 lbs. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

I grew up in institutions where I was encouraged to eat whatever was served, when it was served. After I became an independent adult, I rebelled by eating whatever I wanted, whenever. Food had become my metaphor for freedom. This system didn’t work in bodybuilding. Desperate to control my weight, I turned to diet pills, thyroid medication, purgatives, Over-Eater’s Anonymous and every book I could find on the subjects of diet and behavior modification. Finally, I stopped eating all together; I fasted on just water for 17 days, and that certainly taught me how to keep my mouth closed.

HOW DID YOUR WRITING CAREER START?

I was ghost-writing for my mentor, Don Ross, in 1981. One day, Laura Dayton, a very hip fitness editor, asked me if I’d write a book about weight training. “Not me,” I said, “Don’s the training authority in this house.” She told me that she knew that it was me writing his stuff. I felt so ashamed, I wrote the book “Getting Strong” for $100 dollars a chapter.

THEN WHAT?

Then Joe Weider took me to lunch and asked me to write about my physical transformation. Next, John Balik bought Ironman and gave me my own monthly diet column “Power Café”, and that ran for 14 years. Tom Deters at Muscle & Fitness hired me to investigate the drug combo Phen-Fen, and after my findings were published, lawsuits poured in against the drug’s manufacturers which resulted in the drug’s discontinuation. Then I interviewed the L.A. director of the Drug Enforcement Agency, Bob Bender, a former pro bodybuilder, who described how his special task force sets up steroid busts using the muscle magazines to locate suspects. That was a big scoop for FLEX. Understandably, I like editors who let me run with the ball like Jerry Kindela at Weider and Steve Holman at Ironman.

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED?

Yes. Because I’d been pursuing the subject of athletes and aggression, Sports Illustrated hired me to investigate several homicides in bodybuilding. For that, I attended two murder trials in the Caribbean involving Bertil Fox, Mr. Universe. But my participation in the project was met with so much disapproval among many of my friends in the industry, I subsequently turned down several book deals and a TV special on the subject. Seeking a respite from journalism, I turned to fiction and wrote a flurry of scripts for the TV shows “Conan, The Adventurer” and “Alcapulco H.E.A.T.”. I’ll never forget the surprised look on Ralf Moeller’s face when I arrived on location where he was shooting one of my “Conan” scripts in the jungle of Puerto Vallarta. What next? Nassar coming in to direct?

HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR HUSBAND, STAN BERKOWITZ

He gave me a script to read and, by the time I was done, I was head over heels. He’s a creative genius who loves writing movies. By the time he was 12, he was making amateur movies. Lately, he’s been working on the animated TV shows “Spiderman”, “Superman”, “Batman Beyond” and “Justice League”. Before that, he wrote and produced the live action shows, “Superboy” with Gerard Christorpher and “Players” starring Ice T. He’s got a couple of feature films out there too.

WHO BROUGHT THOSE GOLD STATUES HOME?

Stan received 7 Emmy nominations and won twice. When he loses, he curls up in bed for 3 days, and then only eats spaghetti. When he wins, it’s like Christ has risen. He can walk on water for weeks!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

I exercise, visit friends and write irresitable features. I also search the world for adventure. So far, in the new millineium, I skied the highest mountain in the European Alps, logged in about 500 miles on horseback, sailed the tallest ship in the Pacific Ocean, and rafted the Pacuare River in Costa Rica. (The Pacuare is rated Class 5 and is so infested with piranha, you sometimes see bodyparts drifting downstream.) Some things just never change

HOW CAN YOU BE CONTACTED?

My email address is teaganclive@earthlink.net.

“Jumping Jack Flash”, “Armed and Dangerous”. “Sinbad”. “Interzone” who “Alienator”, “Obsession”, “Vice Academy II”, once I started doing sequels,

I stopped.

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