Rated R Runtime: 81 minutes Release: 2005
Sleepover Nightmare
The Story:
Friday the 13th. Twisted Nightmare. Humongous. The Burning. There are probably a few hundred more movies like them that I've forgotten, have never seen, or never even heard of. Heck, if these flicks were real life we'd be inundated with crazed serial killers that possess superhuman strength, the ability to deal death with a variety of garden tools and the power to move about so stealthily that no one ever sees them until it is too late. The 80's saw so many of these slasher movies made, that every element of them became a cliché. A slasher movie can practically write itself, its almost as if there's only one script for all of them and all the makers have to do is jot down names.
That's right, you're not really going to see anything you haven't seen before in this movie.
An inmate from an asylum for the criminally insane is being transported from the asylum to, I don't know, maybe another asylum for the Really Really criminally insane. his trip doesn't last very long, since mere moments after leaving the place there's an accident that sends the transport van flying....literally. the inmate is the only survivor except for an orderly that was in the back with him, but said orderly gets killed by the inmate directly after the accident. the crazy man then escapes into the night.
The next afternoon we're taken to a party at the home of Shannon, a rich teenage girl, whose parents are away for a couple of weeks. Dwight and his new girlfriend Karli arrive, and apparently Karli is new to the area, since she doesn't know anyone. Dwight introduces Karli to Rick and Harry, to of his classmates, and from all indications, Dwight doesn't like them very much. He introduces her to Shannon and you can almost see Shannon's cat claws right then and there. As soon as Karli moves away from Dwight for a second, Shannon moves in and tells him to meet her in the tool shed for a surprise. She also tells him to tell Karli that he'll be helping a friend out....clearly she doesn't want Karli to know what this surprise is. Harry provides a distraction though. he's smitten with Karli and asks her to dance....Dwight takes that as an opportunity to go with Shannon.
Some tools get used in the shed all right, by Dwight. Well, only one tool, really and its his. Shannon wastes no time in disrobing and the two go at it. (No, you don't see anything....too bad, because the actress playing Shannon is kind of cute in a meaty kind of way) Unbeknownst to the two, the crazy inmate is spying on them through a window. This brings us to a flashback of the inmate's memory. There's a caption telling us that this was "Seven Years Ago", but I gotta tell you, a lot of it looks like it was supposed to be in the fifties. I almost expected the Fonz to be in it! But, hey, its seven years ago, so be it. It seems the inmate was a party goer himself, and he's wandering around this group of his peers looking for his girlfriend Loretta. (I never did get this guys name...its Ron, or Rod I think but for my own sanity we'll just call him the killer from here on) Ron's carrying these two plates of burgers, so I guess he means to feed Loretta. Unfortunately Loretta is having a meal of tube steak provided by some other dude. the Killer finds them in this guys car still in the act. (Loretta has no shame! there are people all around and she's got her damned legs up over the seat while her "friend" is giving it to her good) The killer goes crazy at this sight and pulls the guy off of his girlfriend, and out of the car and proceeds to beat the poor bastard to death. Then grabs Loretta, forces her into his car and peels out. Note that none of the other party goers even attempt to stop the brutal beating he lays down on this guy. they're all screaming at him to stop and all but no one helps the poor sap. Damn. There's like 20 people there! Its not like he could have beaten them all up! Well, as the killer takes off in his car with Loretta screaming in the passenger seat I got my first laugh. Some dumbass drinking a beer walks in front of the killer's car and you can hear people yelling 'dude get out of the way!' just before he becomes a hood ornament. What made me laugh was how did this guy not see the World Class Ass Whooping the killer gave the other dude? Didn't he notice all of the hoopin' and hollerin' just beforehand? Anyway, the killer then runs over the little bonfire the party was around which somehow sends his car flying and overturned. He manages to crawl out of it, battered and injured as it explodes. Its a movie car, so it has to explode since movie cars seem to run on nitroglycerin or something. The flashback over, we now know why the killer was in the asylum and that the idea of someone else getting a little makes him go nutso.
He doesn't strike just yet though. Karli and Harry end up in the pool, having a bit of fun swimming around. While they're doing that the killer kills some guy named Quinn when he goes off to take a leak on a tree. In a particularly weird part, Harry asks Karli to "rub bums" in the pool. meaning they just kind of do the bump underwater. This is bizarre since Harry's friend Rick is standing at the poolside saying things to himself like "He's really doing it." as if this was some great sexual escapade. I'm also a bit confused as to why the term "rub bums" was used. is this flick supposed to be taking place in Canada and do they use the term "bums" there? I thought that was mostly a British slang thing. (A friend of mine from the UK is trying desperately to teach me brit-speak). Well, anyway, Dwight shows up at the pool and tells Karli to get out of the water or he'll have to kick Harry's ass. Karli does so but smells Shannon's perfume on him and immediately gets pissed. Dwight of course denies screwing Shannon, but Karli isn't too convinced. she goes to change out of her swimsuit while Dwight tells Harry he'll stay in the pool if he knows what's good for him. Harry meekly obeys which really was a bit of a let down. Harry looks like he has about maybe 10 pounds on Dwight. why is he scared of him? Dwight's a lanky kind of guy and not particularly tough looking, just mean. I'm betting Harry could have broke his foot off in his ass if he put his mind to it. When Karli and Dwight go off, Harry goes to use the bathroom in the house and change, telling Rick to meet him directly after so they can smoke some icky of the sticky. (In the house Harry runs into Michael, who I guess is Shannon's brother and seems to be perpetually high.....and his only reason to be in the movie is to get killed so at least he'll probably die happy)
This leads up to the coolest part in the movie. Its not that its innovative or really that different from anything else you might expect. It's just that it made me laugh my ass off. Rick, alone on a path near the party runs into the killer whom he mistakenly believes is another guest. The killer takes Rick's beer, chugs it, burps and then rams the can into his head! I don't mean he hits him with the can, he forces it into two thirds of the way into Ricks skull! Its so goofy looking yet somehow cool that it is by far my favorite murder scene in the flick. Speaking of favorites I forgot to mention the Scottish groundskeeper. His name is Jimmy but I'll call him Groundskeeper Willy since he reminds me of that character from the Simpsons. I'll wager that the Simpson's character was inspiration for this character. He bitches and moans in a Scottish accent that is so fake it probably has poor Jimmy Doohan spinning in his grave about Shannon having this party while her parents are away and I swear all he needs is a freaking kilt and some bagpipes to make the image complete.
Back to the movie...the killer kills two other unbelievably slutty girls, while Dwight tells Karli in the house that Shannon has invited them to stay overnight. Karli isn't really down with that plan, but agrees to think about it. (Which means "no" in woman-talk, guys, unless you get her really really drunk.. Trust me, I've been there) The party is breaking up a bit as the kids are mostly leaving, leaving only Karli, Dwight and Harry. Harry needs Rick for a ride home, and doesn't know that Rick has received a King-Of-Beers-Lobotomy. the number of potential victims thus narrowed down to five, the killer decides to make it four when he kills the ever high Michael who has stumbled onto Rick's body in the boathouse. Yes, in the boathouse, even though Rick was not in the boathouse when he met the killer. like all slasher movie murderers, the killer here has the ability to move his victims body undetected while in a setting where someone should see him. Jabootu'ss bad movie dimension aptly titles this power the Voorhees Unreality Engine and apparently Jason lost the copyright for it since practically ever villain in a slasher flick uses it.
Things get really strange here for a second, my droogies. Harry has gone to look for Rick leaving Dwight, Karli and Shannon in the house. Dwight suggests that they all go jump in the Jacuzzi but Karli doesn't want to. then Shannon starts coming to on her while Dwight watches, hoping that Karli will be game it seems. so what, Shannon's bisexual? Not like it matters, but what's that got to do with anything except making her look like a kink-master? This little side trip into Shannon's perversions are quickly ended when we move on to Harry who has just found the bodies of Michael and Rick in the boathouse. he freaks out, naturally and runs back to the house to tell the others. let me take a second to say this...acting isn't usually that good in these types of movies. If you watched any of the 80's slasher flicks you definitely know that. But the actress playing Shannon (Kristin Cofsky,) surprised me. When learning that her brother, Michael is dead and that their lives were in danger she acted terrified....not 'I'm in a cheesy flick" terrified. Hey, the Inferno gives credit where credit is due....Ms. Cofsky, good job!
The movie now goes into high gear, since the four remaining characters now know the killer is after them. They barricade themselves in the house and are too frightened to leave the room their in even when the police arrive. The two policemen are only there to get smoked by the killer anyway. Ultimately only 2 of them are left and if you've ever seen a horror movie you know who its going to be. After all, you have a choice in bother genders....the rich, slutty boy-stealing, sexually overcharged Shannon or the level headed nice girl Karli. The mean-spirited, bullying Dwight, or the fun loving nice guy Harry. Its not rocket science.
Sleepover Nightmare is nothing new like I said earlier, but its fun to watch. I didn't think the Infernal dwellers would like a slasher flick with hot chicks and no real nudity, but this movie was entertaining enough to pull it off. I do have a question though.....this is a Canadian made movie, and most of the movies I see from Canada never ever actually come out and say this is taking place in Canada. I wonder why? If anyone knows, let me know.
Best Lines: “He was your friend, get it out of there!!"- Shannon to Harry when they find Rick's head floating in a bathtub. this had me rolling on the floor. I mean, what does she expect him to do with the head, and just because Rick was his buddy that makes fishing the guys severed head out of a tub Harry's job?
Are you kidding me?
1.) Whoa! The killer just committed 1st degree Beericide! I guess if I was strong enough to ram a beer can through someone's skull I'd be doing it all of the time.
2.) I suppose its possible, in some weird, freakish unlikely-to-happen-in-real-life way, but get this....Rick is still alive! After the killer rams a beer can into his head he has him hung up on a hook inside of the boathouse where the poor shmuck is STILL ALIVE with the beer can still in his head. How is that possible? I'm not a brain surgeon (What's the medical name for that anyway, "Brainologist"?) but I'd think that having a 12 ounce can of Budweiser inserted into your forehead would probably mush up the part of your grey matter that controls breathing and the like.
3.) Ever notice how movie cell phones never work ("I can't get a signal!") when the characters need help from whatever is after them? At least this movie doesn't use that, but instead Dwight says "I left it in the car!" when Karli asks where his phone is. What's the point in having a cell phone if you're not gonna carry it with you?
4.) Karli, Shannon and Harry barricade themselves in the master bedroom, fearing the killer. Hilariously, after moving a chair and a table and other objects to block the door Karli gets a potted plant and puts it in their little blockade. What's that for Karli, a tasteful barrier? I mean, come on, that plant must weigh all of 2 pounds. what was the point in that except to make Karli look like an idiot.
5.) It should be noted that neither Karli nor Harry bother to warn "Groundskeeper Willy" about the murderer while they make their escape. I chuckled at this though, because in their shoes I probably wouldn't have either.
6.) How did the killer get Quinn's body up in that tree? And why would he bother? There have got to be easier ways to hide a body than to climb a damn tree carrying a 160 pound dead guy.
7.) One unintentionally funny bit is when the killer gets into the room Karli, Shannon and Harry are hiding in. Having fished Rick's head out of the bathtub, Harry has it wrapped in a towel. When the killer gets in he starts beating the guy with the head filled towel! Holy Mackerel, its Head-Fu!
Nudity and Sex: Shannon and Dwight have sex (Thus assuring their untimely deaths by Horror Movie Law). No nudity is seen though. Harry shows his ass to the camera.
Huh?:
The guy that was giving Loretta the old "Rock you like a Hurricane" must have been good. She's moaning away like she's in a Ron Jeremy porno and they both still have their pants on!
I had no idea that a small bonfire could be used as a ramp to flip cars over.
The two girls that were with Quinn start gabbing when they can't find Quinn. One of them says she hopes he hasn't left the party without them since she had plans for a threesome!!! Either Quinn has a two foot love muscle, or these two chicks are serious freakazoids. Either way Quinn (with the exception of getting killed) is the luckiest sumbitch at this party.
At one point Shannon tries to get Karli to agree to stay overnight with her and Dwight. She starts rubbing Karli's leg in a suggestive manner implying that her door swings both ways and she's not above a threesome herself, like the two other girls I mentioned earlier. What school are these kids from? Kinky High?
Wow! The killer must have the same fantastic powers as Jason! He not only managed to get inside the house and cut the phone line, (I guess Shannon's family has only ONE phone in the entire house) he also put the eyeball of a victim in Shannon's jacket pocket unseen, pinned Dwight's cell phone to the kitchen wall with a carving knife, steal all of the other knives in the kitchen and put Rick's head in a bathtub that he filled with water UPSTAIRS. All this and he still squeezed in the time to kill a few folks.
While barricaded in a room Karli, Shannon and Harry hear the police arrive. They have a debate on whether its really the cops or the killer trying to lure them out. Eventually they decide to reveal themselves hoping its the cops, but only after asking the cop to tell them his badge number through the door. Yeah, like the killer couldn't just have made up a number if it was him. I found this part funny because the three instantly got paranoid about the cop being the killer in disguise. Karli was outright against opening the door! Shoot, I would have figured the killer didn't need subterfuge to kill anyone before, why would he start now? Besides he shoved a can through a dudes head! he could probably kick their barricade apart easily.
Given the fact that the authorities must know by now that the killer is loose, wouldn't the area around Shannon's house be swarming with cops?
The Final Judgment: This movie is exactly like the kind of flick that dominated the 80's horror market. Still, I enjoyed it. Its no great masterpiece, but its not boring and you get exactly what you expect. The Infernal demons give it three devil heads, for not being as bad as Crossbones.
Starring: Hayley Sales, Chad E. Rook, Kristin Cofsky, Richard Olak, Ward McMahon, Will Millar, Ace Hicks, Mike Moroz
Directed and Written by: Boon Collins
